Slow child - why and what to do? Slow child: tips for parents

For any parent, his child is the smartest, the most beautiful, the most talented, the most... You can continue for a very long time. In principle, it’s normal when parents think this way, but... It happens that behind such adoration and love, parents do not see the shortcomings of their children, and if they do not see, then they will not help the child get rid of something negative in his character. In our article we will talk about slow children.

Many scientists argue that the pace of life of each person is unique and individual. And slowness is an innate feature that is almost impossible to change . I don’t know about you, but I don’t agree with this statement and I’ll still risk arguing with pundits. From personal practice, I know more than one example of how a slow person turned into a very active one. Therefore, if I were the parents of such a child, I would try to add speed to my child. The easiest thing to say is: it’s innate, nothing can be done. How about fighting, trying to change the situation? Ultimately, help your son or daughter keep up with their peers in activity and development.

Slow children often irritate adults and hear various offensive statements addressed to them: “ Come on faster, honey" or " Why are you so slow? Move, come on, we're late».

Agree that if you regularly hear such remarks addressed to you, your child is unlikely to grow up self-confident and self-sufficient. . But he hears such statements not only at home, but also at school from classmates and even from teachers. The latter, of course, always amazed me with unflattering, and sometimes even indecent, comments addressed to children with special needs.

I don’t understand how a teacher can allow himself such behavior and attitude towards children?! Well, teachers are a completely different story. Let's return to the given topic. So why are some children so slow at everything? What is the reason for this behavior and how can it be solved?

Causes of childhood slowness

It must be said that the opinions of pediatricians and psychologists regarding the reasons for this behavior in children are divided.

Pediatricians consider the following to be the main reasons:

during pregnancy.
Oxygen starvation of a child during intrauterine development.
Various infectious diseases suffered by the mother during pregnancy.
Disturbances during pregnancy in the functioning of the hematopoietic and excretory systems.
Impact on the body during pregnancy of various harmful factors: nicotine, alcohol, potent drugs, paints and varnishes, food poisoning and poisoning.
Physical impact on the mother’s body: vibration, shaking in transport, etc.
Various birth injuries in a child: long or rapid labor, breath holding and others.

Psychologists consider slowness to be an innate character trait. . And parents are often asked this question: you wouldn’t change your child’s eye color or hair color if it doesn’t suit you? It’s the same with the child’s tempo and rhythm.

If a child has become slow recently, but previously showed activity, then psychologists call the reasons for the appearance of slowness:

Quarrels, scandals within the family (especially if in the presence of a child) cause serious damage to the unstable child’s psyche and slow down the functioning of the whole organism.
Child's health status after illness and during illness.
Relocation, change of team in kindergarten or school.
Climate change .
Weather changes .

Psychologists strongly recommend , do not blame or criticize the child, but understand the reasons for his condition and behavior and help him cope with the problem that has arisen. If parents cannot do this on their own, you can always seek help from a specialist.

Some scientists argue that the speed of nerve impulses directly depends on the biochemistry of the human brain, or more precisely on a special substance - acetylcholinesterase. The same scientists claim that the level of mobility of nervous processes depends little on us, and is passed on to us by inheritance, mainly through the maternal line .

The slowness of such children is manifested not only in their movements, their mental activity is also slower: they think and speak slower than their peers. It is more difficult for them to adapt to the school community, they irritate adults, and their peers do not particularly want to play with slow children. But most importantly, they do not cheat, it is really difficult for them to learn, they simply do not have time to perceive all the information they receive.

I would like to note that slow children are not at all stupid, as some may think. It’s just that, unlike their active peers, they need more time to understand new material. To ensure that such a child does not fall behind in the school curriculum, parents need to complete part of the educational process at home .

By the way, it is not at all necessary that a slow child will be among the lagging students in the class. What it lacks in speed, it makes up for in thoroughness and quality. If parents take control of everything, the child will be able to keep up with everything. . Most often, he knows the school curriculum well, he just needs to collect his thoughts.

What to do?

At first glance, the answer to this question seems absolutely simple and logical: urge, hurry, use more active children as an example. But it's not that simple.

Rushing such a child (we are talking about innate slowness, not temporary) not only useless, but even harmful . Any attempt to speed up his actions will have the opposite effect: it will cause inhibition of reactions and, as a result, an even slower pace. If such a child is constantly pushed, he will be constantly in a state of stress, and this is a direct path to neurosis.

Agree, even in an adult working under limited time conditions, the functioning of the nervous system is disrupted: the person becomes more irritable, the heartbeat quickens, and insomnia occurs. What can we say about slow children? They get tired much faster, and overexertion affects them more acutely.

In addition to all the listed negative processes that occur with slow children, there is one more: their level of activity, or rather, slowness, also affects their character. Such children often have no friends, are unsociable, withdrawn, and turned inward. Simply put - introverts .

So what to do? How to help your child? Is it possible to increase your activity level at least a little or do you need to accept it? There is an exit.

The very first thing parents of a slow child should do is create a clear daily routine and constantly monitor its observance

The more often a child performs the same action regularly, the higher the chance of increasing the speed of his actions.

The second thing that will help a slow child is use the “simplification principle”

I will explain with a specific example. The child takes a long time to prepare to do homework: it takes a long time to get a notebook, pen, diary, books, etc. Break the situation down into simple actions and convey to the child what needs to be done and how. Just calmly and without raising your voice. For example, you say " Take the diary out of the briefcase” and explain: this means that you need to open the briefcase, put your hand in it, find the diary, pull it out, put it on the table. Ask your child to do as you explained.

If everything worked out the first time (sometimes the child gets worried and confused), ask them to do it again faster. Practice several times a day until he can do it easily and naturally. Make training a game. Tell: " Let's play practice. So, one, two, three, get the math book out of your briefcase.“... If something doesn’t work out, try to identify the reason. For example, a child cannot get a book out of his briefcase normally and quickly because he has not fully unzipped the zipper. Talk through all his actions again, mentioning the need to unzip the zipper all the way.

Of course, after reading about this method, you may grin and think that it is primitive to the point of absurdity. But don’t rush to conclusions and don’t forget that this is a little person who perceives everything much more simply than we adults do. And such explanations of his actions are easier for him to remember. Take into account his slow processes, including thinking .

And the method, by the way, works great and has a deep meaning:

Firstly, it becomes unprofitable for the child to do these exercises slowly . He begins to understand that if he does it slowly, he has to train and repeat the same thing several times. And if you do it quickly, you yourself will be pleased, and your mother will praise you. And thoughts appear in his head on their own." I can, I want, I like it and it works out" instead of " I can’t, it doesn’t work...».
Secondly, mom (dad) does not scold, but helps . That is, calmly and kindly helps the child learn complex tasks through play, and if that doesn’t work out, simple ones, and if that doesn’t work out, then basic tasks. This way you will establish contact with the child, which means your relationship will improve.
Thirdly, everything is fun and funny . Thus, the child begins to experience joy and enjoy the quick completion of the task. In this spirit, any slowness will disappear over time. Even if not completely and not completely, but believe me, the results will come, and they will surprise you. But positive results are possible only if mom and dad treat this unanimously and patiently. The child should not have any stress.

Carry out any simple physical exercises with your child . You can start with finger exercises.

Important! Start doing it slowly, then a little faster, and always finish slowly: the child should have a feeling of pleasure from the exercise done. And he can only experience pleasure if he keeps up with you.

Do everything that a child, depending on his age, should be able to do, do it with him, until he learns to do it well and at a normal pace.
When doing homework with your child, do not rush or push him . After asking a question, give him time to think. Do not under any circumstances blame “I didn’t learn again” without waiting for an answer.
Take breaks between study sessions every 15-20 minutes etc. Use breaks wisely: do squats or play ball, or do finger exercises.
Teach your child precision and clarity, not speed . Do things together more often and make sure he does everything right. Let the child do everything slowly, but correctly and clearly. Remember, he may be slow, but he's not crazy!

If your child is temporarily slow, after identifying and eliminating the cause if possible, use the same recommendations for speeding up his activity as for congenitally slow children.

Main : if you see that a child is deliberately becoming slow and doing it out of spite, do not scold or accuse him of deception, you still will not be able to prove it to him. Be patient and “start learning” again.

A few final words

The most important thing I want to tell you is that you will need a lot of patience to achieve noticeable results. . Stock up on it and never show your irritability to your child, you will harm him and you will not achieve results. Do not start working with your child if you have limited time now - you will involuntarily rush him. It’s better to ask your dad or grandma for help.

And remember, slowness is not a death sentence! A child can be taught to think, act and move quickly and energetically. Everything is in mom’s loving and caring hands! Because only mothers are capable of doing the impossible for their children. So, let's speed up?

“Vanya, let’s hurry up, otherwise we’ll be late,” mom asks for the third time, and he acts slower and slower. A familiar picture, isn't it? They use hurtful words and sometimes even slaps on the head. Someone in such situations still forces the baby to complete the process, constantly urging slow child. Others decide “I’d rather do everything myself,” leaving the baby in passive anticipation.

To find the right tactics of behavior, you need to understand the reasons child's slowness. They may be deeper than meets the eye.

Look around you, how different we all are. Some people start work without any preparation and do it very quickly - everything is “on fire” in their hands. Others approach solving problems much more slowly - first they draw up an action plan in their heads, think through every detail, and only then, measuredly and sedately, begin their activities. May be annoying to some parents, to say the least. child's slowness- so much time is spent on dressing, undressing, and running errands! The child cannot concentrate and begin to perform the necessary action or cannot concentrate at all on the thought of completing tasks.

Often the problem begins already in preschool age, and in some children it can be traced even in infancy. Under the concept slow child Various problems related to the family situation and the child’s health may be hidden. Therefore, a family or child psychologist uses a systematic approach to the study of the child’s psyche, that is, they consider all body systems in interconnection. In some children, slowness may be associated with characteristics of the nervous system, in others - with organic changes in the structure of the brain, resulting, for example, as a result of birth trauma, etc. Sometimes the rhythm and pace of a child’s activity changes due to an unfavorable climate in the family or conflicting relationships between parents and child. This problem can cause delays in learning, poor concentration in lessons, the formation of fear of school and the development of childhood neuroses.

No two children are alike, each child is unique, and it is better to entrust the identification of the reasons for his slowness to specialists - pediatricians, pediatric neurologists, psychoneurologists, child and family psychologists and child psychoanalysts.

Slow child: reasons

Weakness, increased fatigue of a child after an acute illness or the presence of a chronic disease can cause a slowdown in the pace and rhythm of the baby’s activities. For such children, an adaptation period is necessary and their slowness will naturally end after full recovery and restoration of strength. In this case to a slow child and his parents will be helped by pediatricians who have been monitoring the baby since his birth. In some cases, it is enough to carry out general strengthening vitamin therapy.
Reason child's slowness, changes in the pace and rhythm of its activity may be a congenital pathology of the brain associated with the consequences of a difficult pregnancy, difficult childbirth or premature pregnancy, when all systems of the child’s body are immature or damaged at birth. Such cases are the prerogative of child neurologists, psychoneurologists, child psychoanalysts and psychologists. Organic pathology often serves as a background for various developmental disorders of the child’s psyche. Such to a slow child observation by specialists is necessary, sometimes up to adolescence and beyond. Only after a comprehensive systemic examination of the child will an experienced doctor be able to select individual drug therapy for him, and a psychologist and psychoanalyst will be able to help resolve his internal conflicts.
Sometimes this feature of a child is considered as a stage of normal development at an early age. During this period (from 1.5 to 3 years) child's slowness may be associated with natural underdevelopment of motor skills. This is especially true for the motor skills of the fingers, which still do not allow them to act quickly, clearly and beautifully. Children try their best to tie their shoelaces and fasten buttons, but their hands and fingers do not yet have the same flexibility and dexterity as their mother or kindergarten teacher, causing adults and parents irritation that is incomprehensible to a preschooler, and even undeserved humiliation of the child who strives to to independence. This “staged” slowness disappears with age in every child. The pace and rhythm of life of adults, who are forced to solve many problems in a day, is simply incomprehensible for a child of primary preschool age. And it depends on the tolerance of mom and dad whether he will become independent or remain dependent on adults. So some parents, tired of their problems and unable to cope with irritability, stop “hearing” the rhythm of their baby and begin to do most of the things for him, sincerely believing that they are thereby making his life easier. Perhaps parents do not even suspect that in this way they are doing a “disservice” to the child, provoking the development of passivity and lack of initiative in him. Some children, until adolescence, cannot cope with clumsiness that was ingrained in childhood.
Lately, experts have been paying a lot of attention to left-handedness in children. This problem can also cause child's slowness, if in kindergarten, school or at home this feature is not treated with due attention. Retraining a left-handed child to eat and write with his right hand can lead not only to a slowdown and disruption of the rhythm of his activities, but also to disruption of the harmonious development of the personality. Congenital left-handedness cannot be retrained.
Features of the temperament of a phlegmatic child - a classic case of pronounced child's slowness. This kid just can’t stand the rush. Despite his slowness, he is distinguished by his solidity and prudence. Whatever he does, he prefers already proven, familiar methods and does everything thoroughly, persistently overcoming obstacles. It is very difficult to distract him from his intended goal; he does not change his decisions, and if they need to be defended, he shows enviable stubbornness. He gets used to everything new with difficulty, but his psyche is extremely resistant to any external stimuli, and it is almost impossible to get him angry. A phlegmatic child is very restrained in expressing emotions, but his feelings are deep and constant. Such a child finds friends with difficulty, but friendship reveals enviable constancy and devotion. A phlegmatic child is absolutely non-conflict and non-aggressive; he prefers to avoid the fight and not take unnecessary risks. Most of all, a phlegmatic person is afraid of change, deviations from the usual rhythm of life. Parents should remember that a child’s temperament is an innate trait (like eye color, nose shape) that they need to learn to accept in their baby.
Any crisis moments in the life of a family, such as divorce, moving to a new city, a child moving to a new school or kindergarten, conflicts between parents or other family members, are stress factors for the child. The unstable child's psyche is subjected to a great test. Anxiety increases, which the baby may unconsciously try to cope with by slowing down general activity, as well as inhibiting the performance of various actions. Difficult moments in a child’s life are also traumatic for his psyche and create the ground for the development of childhood neurosis. The child’s feelings of guilt, depression, and isolation do not help restore the rhythm and pace of his activity, but only aggravate child's slowness. The solution to the problem is to eliminate chronic conflict in the family, relieve nervous tension in parents and children, and teach the family how to communicate without conflict.
Child's slowness may be a manifestation of a disharmonious relationship between an adult (for example, a mother) and a child. Always in a hurry, often absent and working hard, a mother who entrusts or shifts the upbringing of a child onto the shoulders of a grandmother or nanny loses emotional contact with the child. The baby tries to attract the mother's attention with his slowness and prolong the interaction with her. Also, the baby’s lethargy may be a hidden form of protest against the lack of emotional warmth, attention and love from the mother and father. These and other disharmonious relationships in the family can be corrected through painstaking work with a psychologist or psychoanalyst. And the participation of all family members in it is the key to success.
An authoritarian style of upbringing in a family, strict coercion of a child to fulfill certain requirements, constant monitoring of the fulfillment of assigned tasks, as well as strict penalties for disobedience can be the reasons for a decrease in children's activity and the formation of neuroses. Child's slowness may be a way of controlling and manipulating parents. With the help of slowness, the baby sometimes protests against teaching him, for example, music. Such a hidden or overt protest is also possible in the event of a conflict with a kindergarten teacher. Then leisureliness does not apply to all activities, but only to individual situations. Other aspects of life proceed at a normal pace. In this case, parents need to reconsider their parenting style.
Parents' irritation and impatience are often caused by the excessive, in their opinion, daydreaming of children, who are usually not distinguished by a phlegmatic temperament, but sometimes act like an inveterate slow child. By plunging often and for a long time “into dreams” every time something needs to be done, a child can express in this way both a protest towards adults and manifest his internal conflicts in a similar way. eIn general, these can be the most ordinary children, without any disorders.

It is important for adults to remember that they are not to blame for their sluggishness. Constant shouting, ridicule, and punishment can make him neurotic, but not “accelerate him.”

WITH a slow child play games that help increase his activity, but at a pace accessible to the baby. You can introduce your kapusha to the concept of time and teach him to distribute his tasks, highlight the main and secondary, more difficult and easier. It is also important to teach your baby to follow a daily routine that will help him create the feeling of consistency that he so strives for.
Inclusion slow child Competitive games are doomed to fail, so avoid them. It’s better to encourage him, encourage him, praise him for his successes, which he can compare with his past results or the actions of an adult: “Today you did it faster and better than yesterday,” “You’ve already learned to eat quickly, like me,” etc. .d. Comparing a child's successes with the successes of other children is painful for a slow baby.
Slow children constant attention from adults, unobtrusive help from mom or dad, their participation and sympathy are required. These kids, as a rule, are not confident in themselves and in the attitude of people towards them, so it is necessary to support their conviction that everything will turn out well in the end.
Sometimes he cannot begin to complete a task for fear of failure. It is enough to offer him help, and he will probably do everything himself. The most important thing for him is the feeling, the confidence that he is not alone, he will receive encouragement and support.
Punishments and reprimands slow child can only lead to refusal to perform any actions.
Irritation from a more active, impatient adult can lead to chronic conflicts, child suffering, and neuroses. It seems to such a child that he is not loved enough. And the strongest fears in children are the fear of being abandoned and the fear of losing the love of people close to them. U slow child fears are sometimes expressed very strongly due to his uncertainty.
A fast-paced, energetic mother who slow child wants to see him as “efficient”, is capable of driving a child to neurosis with her impatience and destroying the emotional contact between him and herself for the rest of his life.
Because slow child is afraid of any changes and everything new, then entering kindergarten or school will make him even more vulnerable. He takes his failures hard. It is important that parents pay more attention to the period of adaptation of such a child in children's institutions, consult teachers and educators about the characteristics of their child, and sometimes protect him from punishment and humiliation on their part. In some cases, you should not look for a prestigious school, but a tactful and thoughtful teacher. It is worth reminding parents that reasonable, reliable and calm people who carefully think through their actions and achieve their goals in life often grow out of phlegmatic, “slow” children.

You may be interested in articles

If you are used to doing everything quickly, without delay, remembering every task and completing it on time, slow people can annoy you.

Especially when your own child hesitates, from whom you expect something specific without even thinking about it. Of course, we expect success, luck, and understanding from children. And, sometimes, they seem older to us than they really are, and we demand unbearable things from them.

But what to do if a slow child was born in your family and this became a stumbling block for everyone, and sometimes a reason for screaming and quarrels?

Causes of childhood slowness

If you are faced with the problem that your child is very slow, what should you do and what should you definitely not do?

You shouldn’t immediately worry that the child is “something different.” Perhaps he is not even slow, he is just too small for some actions, or you and he have different temperaments - what is slow for you is normal for him.

If your child is very slow, think about why:

Phlegmatic people are very calm people, slow and thorough. They do not get irritated over trifles, they are not in a hurry;

Take a closer look, perhaps your baby has such a character. It is useless to convince and retrain here; you need to get used to it and accept the child for who he is. Otherwise, neurological problems and discord in your relationship may arise.

Children under 3 years old are not that nimble yet, they are just learning to dress themselves and, of course, they do not yet have a sense of responsibility;

They don’t understand why it’s bad to be late and how to understand that the allotted 10-15 minutes have already passed for some task. And my fingers still don’t obey well.

There are children, especially boys, who cannot do two things at the same time;

And while you are shouting at the child that he is taking a long time to get ready, he cannot do anything - he listens to you.

In order for him to concentrate on one thing, it is necessary to remove all external stimuli, not turn on the TV, radio, or talk to him. Only then will he be able to calmly do his homework or get dressed for a walk.

Attracting attention is another “non-painful” reason for procrastination;

Think about whether you are attentive enough to your child, whether you always listen to what he has to say, and whether you communicate enough.

Know! Surprisingly, very often children use tricks to attract negative attention in order to somehow get a response from parents or other children.

Children who are prone to thinking, dreaming, thinking, very creative and thoughtful may forget about where they are and what they are doing. They have their head in the clouds, inventing their own worlds and fantastic inventions.

Try to direct it in the right direction, but you still have to adjust it.

Slowness as a physiological problem

It happens that a child does everything slowly and due to health problems.

If a child has a congenital or acquired chronic disease, it can affect the nervous system and result in inhibition of actions. That is, slowness is the result of weakness and lack of strength, fatigue;
Difficult childbirth, pregnancy with complications, congenital hypoxia. This also affects. Such children must be observed by a neurologist;

Under no circumstances should you shout at your child, tease him or scold him. Otherwise, the problem can only get worse, and there is a risk of nervous tics and stuttering.

Left-handers do the opposite, using objects differently than right-handers, which slows them down. Choose scissors and a pen for a left-handed person, and most importantly, do not overtrain! This can provoke even greater slowness;
If you have recently moved, transferred your baby to another kindergarten, or another child was born in the family, any strong change affects the psyche and, as a result, we experience a slowdown in actions. Try to treat with understanding and patience, encourage;
Too strict demands on a child can lead to slowness - the baby does everything with caution so as not to make mistakes and not cause parental disapproval.

What to do

How to help a slow child if his slowness is not associated with illness:

Explain each action step by step: it is better to “chew” once than to be annoyed every time because of a child’s misunderstanding;

Perhaps some point is difficult for the baby, and you are nervous because it seems too simple to you. Just imagine that absolutely everything is difficult for a little one - after all, he is just learning, and this is always a difficult process.

Don't rush to help every time you think your child is doing something too slowly - give him time to try it himself first;

Lead the process, encourage, advise if necessary, praise when it works. It also happens that an overly impatient mother simply does not allow the child to do something on his own and he deliberately hesitates, waiting for her to intervene.

Do not rush and do not scold - the baby loses faith in himself, it begins to seem to him that he is not capable of anything on his own. It’s just that some children need to be monitored as they carry out your instructions, because otherwise they get distracted;
If you are going somewhere, encourage your child to prepare the necessary things in advance;

Let him take out and hang on the chair the clothes he will wear, check everything, and schoolchildren must pack their backpack and prepare their school uniform in the evening. This way you don't have to rush the children.

And if you, moreover, tell your baby in advance what you are going to do together, where you will go or what task you will give him, then at least some kind of plan will form in his head.

It will help avoid procrastination and disagreement if you discuss the upcoming actions in advance.

Tips for parents of children with neurological problems

Remember that the baby is not “slowing you down” out of spite, don’t let it make you angry or irritate you;

After all, children sense our mood and will feel like a burden, the subject of their mother’s frustration and anger. And, if you start screaming, this will definitely not spur the baby on; he will only slow down even more, because he will be afraid that he is wrong and bad.

Get used to the routine. Let each action be at the same time every day. Here the body itself gets used to it;
Rituals are a great tool. Children remember them like a rhyme; it’s easier for them if everything is repeated exactly every day;

If a child speaks slowly, do not finish his words for him, do not try to guess what he wants to say, do not make fun of him. Learn patience and the baby will learn the required speed;
Train your speed with games and tasks.

Do not force him to rush, but gradually speed it up, making sure that the child has time. Let, for example, there be some sequence of movements that the child will repeat after you. At first very slowly, then, each time, a little faster.

Be patient. All people are different and sooner or later you and your baby will definitely find a common language!

Parents are often annoyed that their child is slow: too much time is spent getting ready and running errands. Perhaps you have "". The baby cannot concentrate on thoughts about performing actions. Often, such a problem begins in early preschool age; for some, it can be traced from infancy. There are no two identical children, each child is a bright individual personality, therefore, identifying the reasons for the slowness of his actions should be entrusted to specialists: family and child psychologists, pediatricians.

Why does childhood slowness occur?

Acute or chronic illness slows down the rhythm and pace of a child’s actions. After complete recovery, when strength is fully restored, the “slowness” will end naturally. With slowness arising for any similar reason, pediatricians will come to the aid of parents. Sometimes it is enough to carry out vitamin therapy with a general strengthening effect.

Difficult childbirth, difficult or premature pregnancy can cause changes in the pace and rhythm of the child’s activity. In such cases, children should be observed by pediatric neurologists, psychologists, and psychoneurologists. Organic pathology can serve as a background for various mental development disorders. Such a slow child needs long-term observation by specialists and a comprehensive systemic examination.

In some cases, early childhood slowness is part of normal development. In the period from one and a half to three years, slowness can be correlated with natural underdevelopment of motor functions, in particular, motor skills of the fingers. Children try to fasten buttons and tie shoelaces, but their fingers and hands are not yet as flexible and mobile as those of adults. This causes parents to experience irritation that is incomprehensible to the child, or even undeserved humiliation, although the child is trying his best to do everything right and become independent. This slowness goes away with age. The life of adults, which forces them to solve many different problems every day, is incomprehensible to small children. The extent to which their child will become independent and independent of adults depends only on the parents’ tolerance. Some parents, tired of their own problems that cause irritability, do not “hear” the rhythm of their own child’s life and do many things for the child, believing that this will make life easier for the child. Such services imposed on a child develop passivity and clumsiness for a long time, often until adolescence.

A child's left-handedness, if not treated with due attention, also becomes a cause of slowness. Retraining a left-hander to be right-handed can cause a slowdown in the pace and rhythm of activity and a general disruption in the formation of a harmonious personality. People who are born left-handed are not retrained!

The temperament of a born phlegmatic is a classic example of real slowness. Phlegmatic children cannot stand haste and haste, and for all their slowness, they are distinguished by their prudence and solidity. In all their affairs, phlegmatic people choose familiar, proven methods of action, overcoming obstacles with enviable persistence. It is extremely difficult to distract phlegmatic people from their goals; they do not change their decisions, and in defending them they show steadfastness. Phlegmatic people have difficulty getting used to all innovations, but their psyche is very resistant to many external irritating factors; it is almost impossible to make phlegmatic people lose their temper. A phlegmatic child is stingy in showing emotions, but his feelings are deep and constant. In friendship he shows devotion and constancy, although he has difficulty finding friends. A phlegmatic child does not show aggression, is conflict-free, avoids fighting, preferring not to take risks without good reason. A change in the usual rhythm of life, changes in the environment, in relationships cause great fears among phlegmatic people. Parents must know and understand that temperament is an innate trait, like facial features, and their child’s temperament must be accepted as it is.

Any crisis situation - moving, conflicts in the family, divorce, new kindergarten, new school - are stressful for the child. The unstable child's psyche is subjected to great stress. Children unconsciously try to cope with increased anxiety by slowing down their usual activities and slowing down their overall activity. Stressful situations not only traumatize the child’s psyche, but also create fertile ground for the development of neuroses. Depression, a sense of one’s own guilt, and childhood isolation contribute to the development of slowness. Relieving nervous tension and eliminating a conflict situation will help solve this problem.

A child’s slowness may be a consequence of an inharmonious relationship between the child and parents. Parents who are always busy and rushing to work lose emotional contact with their child. In such cases, children, with their slowness, try to attract the attention of their parents and prolong communication with them. Sometimes slowness is a form of hidden protest, a demand for parental love, attention, and warmth. Such shortcomings in family relationships can be eliminated by working with a family psychologist.

Authoritarianism in the family, strict setting of demands on the child, continuous monitoring of the completion of tasks, the severity of punishments for disobedience can serve as reasons for the formation of neuroses and the development of slowness in the child. Slowness in a child can be a form of parental manipulation. By being slow, a child may protest against unnecessary stress (for example, learning music). An overt or hidden protest may arise in conflicts with a kindergarten teacher, while slowness will manifest itself only in certain situations, without affecting other aspects of life. In such cases, parents should reconsider their own parenting methods.

Excessive childish daydreaming can cause irritation in some parents. Often drowning in dreams for a long time, children who are not phlegmatic sometimes act slowly, as if in a dream. By plunging into daydreaming for a long time and often, before performing actions, a child in this way can express his own protest against the demands of his parents or, on the contrary, show his own internal conflict. This behavior can manifest itself in the most ordinary children.

Parents must remember that the child’s “slowness” is not his fault. Punishments and shouting are not capable of “accelerating” a child; they are only capable of developing neuroses in him.

You should play games with him at a pace that is accessible to the child, causing an increase in activity. The child should be introduced to the concept of time, taught to divide tasks into difficult and easy, and distribute tasks according to level of difficulty. The child should be accustomed to a daily routine that creates consistency in actions, which the baby desperately needs.

A slow child's participation in competitive games will not bring good luck, and such games should be avoided. Encourage, encourage, praise for success compared to his past achievements. Remember that slow kids are sensitive to comparisons of their successes with the successes of other children.

Parents of slow children should constantly provide unobtrusive help to their children, show understanding and sympathy towards them. Slow children are often unsure of their abilities and the attitude of others towards them, so it is important to maintain confidence in such children in their abilities and strengths.

Phlegmatic children sometimes do not begin to complete a task for fear of not being able to cope. Offer such a child help and, with a high degree of probability, he will then do everything himself. For a phlegmatic child, confidence that he can receive support is important.

Refusal by a child to perform actions may result in shouting and hastening by adults.

The emergence of chronic conflicts, neuroses, and psychological suffering in a child is facilitated by the manifestation of irritation from his behavior in active, impatient parents. Such a child constantly thinks that his parents do not love him, and this is the strongest childhood fear, the fear of losing parental love and loneliness. A slow child's fears are caused primarily by uncertainty.

Energetic, impetuous parents, who want to see their slow child as an exact copy of themselves, can, with their own impatience, destroy the subtle emotional connection between themselves and their child, and develop neuroses in him /

The inherent fear of everything new in slow children makes them psychologically vulnerable before entering kindergarten or school. A slow child experiences his own failures very hard. It is important for parents of a slow child to pay a lot of attention to the adaptation period in children's institutions; they should tell caregivers and teachers about the mental characteristics of their child. Reliable, calm, reasonable people, who think through their actions down to the last detail and achieve their goals in life, very often grow up from “slow”, phlegmatic children.

Vadim Kazantsev, psychologist.

The mother of seventh-grader Alyosha complained that her son had the same trouble at school every day. The teacher asks him a question, and Alyosha stands and looks at the ceiling, immersed in his thoughts. The teacher finally says:
- Sit down, two!
The boy returns to his place, the lesson goes on as usual, and suddenly the answer clearly appears in Alyosha’s head. He raises his hand:
- I remembered!
And the teacher waves it off:
- It's too late!
The child’s mother turned to a psychologist with the question:
- Is it possible to make him remember the answers faster? He's a smart boy!

The mother of eight-year-old Dasha faced a similar problem. The girl is in second grade and does her homework for three to four hours, although she is not given much work. Dasha just can’t concentrate: she writes a few letters and looks out the window. As a result, the girl herself gets tired from sitting at the table for such a long time and asks her mother to let her run. Mom looks at the notebook with bitterness: not even half of the exercise is there.
- How can I teach her to work faster? - asks mom. – It’s a pity to spend the whole day on lessons!

A child can be slow for several reasons. It is important to establish these reasons before you begin to solve the problem using pedagogical methods.

He is phlegmatic

Perhaps slowness is a feature of your child’s temperament. A phlegmatic person is characterized by a low level of mental activity, slowness, inexpressive facial expressions, and sluggish speech.

It is very difficult for phlegmatic people to switch from one type of activity to another, to adapt to a new environment. If the reason for a student’s slowness is temperament, you may have noticed this even in preschool age. Phlegmatic children can play with one toy for hours or listen to the same fairy tale for a month. At school, such children usually excel in one subject, but do not have enough time for others. They have very stable emotions and views. It is difficult to convince them of anything.

Temperament is an innate property of the nervous system, so it is impossible to change it much. However, there are methods that teach a phlegmatic person to work quickly, which means that they help him adapt in society (after all, slow people irritate many people). What are these methods?

1. Turn on the timer

When a phlegmatic person is immersed in an activity, such as doing homework, he may forget about time and spend hours analyzing one task or re-reading an interesting paragraph over and over again. Therefore, in order for him to control himself, it is necessary to agree: “You only have an hour for homework. I set a timer and when it goes off, class time is up.”

It is best to use a desktop electronic clock with a timer function for this purpose. They should not be directly in front of the child's eyes so as not to distract him. They need to be placed somewhere on the side so that the student can see how much time is left until the end. Of course, if a child does not manage to finish everything on time, you cannot take away his textbooks and kick him out from the table. But it is necessary to point out to him that he is late. After this, it wouldn’t hurt to turn on another timer so that the student can estimate how many minutes he lacks.

If the child managed to meet the deadline, be sure to praise him. In her notebook, the mother can give the student grades for how quickly he completes his homework. It’s great if the time allotted for lessons ends with the beginning of some interesting program. Then the child will have an incentive to complete the task before the appointed minute, so as not to be late for the cartoon or movie.

2. Let's overtake the school!

Since it is difficult for a phlegmatic person to switch from one subject to another, at the beginning of summer it would be advisable to buy the child textbooks for the next grade so that he reads them all in turn.

Unlike other children, a phlegmatic person will not refuse such a pastime, because he is not a supporter of outdoor games. The main thing is not to put pressure on him or push him. This is not an assignment, it is a chance to get acquainted with school material in advance and at a relaxed pace. Perhaps, at the dacha, sitting in a chair, the child will read a history textbook from beginning to end, and then take up geography... He will be able to enjoy slow learning. And there will be no these constant, hated switchings from one subject to another.

You can “overtake school” during the winter holidays and on weekends. There is no need to worry that a child who has familiarized himself with the program in advance will not be interested in school. A phlegmatic person loves to repeat the same thing over and over again, and listens to old material even with more pleasure than new material.

3. Let's compete

A phlegmatic child should at least temporarily be sent to a sports section where there are speed competitions. This could be swimming, running, skiing. Most likely, he will not become a great athlete, but he will learn to concentrate his energy, focus on the main thing, and gather his strength. All this will be very useful in life.

He's distracted

Some children do everything slowly because they cannot concentrate. This problem most often occurs among first-graders. It is connected with the fact that the child’s voluntary attention is not sufficiently developed.

Voluntary attention is the ability of a person, under the influence of intention and a set goal, to concentrate on an activity that may be uninteresting and difficult at the moment. He understands that, having sacrificed immediate pleasure, he will receive much greater pleasure when the goal is achieved. For example, a first grader is more interested in rolling a typewriter on the table than in solving a problem. However, he understands that if he completes the assignment, he will get an A tomorrow, and the pleasure from a good grade will be greater than from rolling the car. Voluntary attention is based on will; the primary school student learns to exercise will in order to achieve a goal.

How to help a child if his voluntary attention is not sufficiently developed?

1. Motivation

You need to talk to your child about his future. How does he see himself in ten to fifteen years? What will he do, will he have a family, children? How is he going to make money? The child must feel like a member of society and understand that his current studies determine how he will live in the future.

However, one should not look only into the distant future. We must try to arouse the child’s interest in learning by showing how his knowledge can be applied in practice. For example, you can let him count the money and ask if it is enough for the necessary purchases.

2. Exercises

There are special exercises for developing voluntary attention. For example, a child is given a sheet of paper, colored pencils and asked to draw ten triangles in a row. When this work is completed, the child is warned about the need to be careful, since the instruction is pronounced only once. “Be careful, shade the third, seventh and ninth triangles with a red pencil.” If the child asks again, you must answer “Do as you understand.” If he has completed the first task, he can continue working, gradually complicating the tasks.

Something is bothering him

Some children do everything slowly because they are afraid of making a mistake. This is associated with anxiety and self-doubt. As a rule, anxious children are afraid of either their parents, or teachers, or peers, and sometimes all at once.

When parents punish a child for failing, he is terrified of making a mistake. On the test he is overcome with fear. The hand refuses to write, the child rereads the task many times, and when he writes a line, he checks it again and again.

If a student is afraid of a teacher, he cannot concentrate in his presence, but with another teacher he does everything quickly and well.

A child is afraid of his peers in two cases. Either he enjoys great authority among them, and it is simply unacceptable for him to receive a bad grade. Or his peers view him negatively and are happy to laugh at his failure. However, this is not a complete list of anxiety options.

It happens that a child is stressed after experiencing a disaster, parental divorce, or the death of a loved one. This also increases his overall level of anxiety, which affects the speed at which he writes classwork and homework. In this case, you need to try to find the source of anxiety, and then decide: either to eliminate it (for example, leave a bad teacher), or to help the student adapt if it is impossible to eliminate this or that circumstance.

He is concerned about another problem

The child does everything slowly, because all his thoughts revolve around some important problem, and the lessons fall out of his sphere of attention. You have to study, but he, like an overloaded computer, freezes, looking at one point.

Problems troubling a child can be very different. Ask your baby if he is hungry, maybe cold, or if something hurts. Agree, it’s hard to think about exercising if you have a headache, stomach or toothache! But, unfortunately, not every child is ready to admit this to their parents. Problems can also arise in the family: the child is worried about a quarrel between his parents or his grandmother’s illness. Very often, children are worried about conflicts among their peers: a friend betrayed them, they liked a girl but preferred someone else, they don’t have a fashionable jacket...

Thus, if parents are concerned about their child's slowness, they should consider what, in a particular case, may be causing the problem. How long has it been since your child became slow? After what incident? What kind of people was he interacting with at the moment when his slowness became noticeable? These questions can be discussed with the student himself or given to him to read this article. Perhaps he himself will find the reason for his slowness and suggest a way out of the current situation.