Tips for dads in raising a child. If you have a daughter: education without mistakes. Caring for your appearance as a way to prevent the appearance of complexes

Meanwhile, understanding how to raise a girl will help you avoid problems in the future, build the right model of behavior and raise a happy and successful woman who is able to love herself and her loved ones.

Girls are more flexible, calm and soft compared to boys. They are suggestible, friendly, responsible and it is easier to find a common language with them. But firstly, there are always exceptions. Secondly, mistakes and gaps in upbringing can lead to disastrous consequences.

To prevent this from happening, try to find the right key to raising a girl at every age, not forgetting to build a line of behavior on the three main pillars: love, boundaries and patience.

Raising a girl from birth to 3 years

You should not think that it is pointless to develop any qualities in a child before the age of three. Yes, freedom is needed, but within reasonable limits. Remember that it is at this age that the baby begins to explore the world and how positive this experience will be for her depends on the parents.

Until the age of three, a girl needs to be surrounded with care, affection and love, and at the same time, unobtrusively help her practically master basic skills of behavior and self-care. Be patient and conquer new heights with your daughter every day.

The first steps, the first word, table manners, dressing (undressing) independently - a child should learn to do all this on his own before the age of three, together with his parents. Feeling their support and attention, he will be able to quickly get used to unpracticed and still unfamiliar actions.

Personality formation of a girl aged 3 to 5 years

At three years old, communication with her daughter begins to take on new colors, becoming more intense, interesting and sometimes unpredictable. On the one hand, it seems that there is nothing difficult in raising a baby who is already capable of clearly expressing thoughts and correcting her behavior, but on the other hand, new problems arise.

Girls at the age of three learn to manipulate adults, clearly realizing their uniqueness. Grandparents most often fall under the spell of the baby; mom and dad are at risk.

During this period, it is important for parents to teach their daughter to use charm for her own benefit without the need to bend to the tricks of adults.

Appearance of a little princess

The girl begins to clearly understand her individuality from the age of three. Your task is to support her in this matter not only with endless compliments, but also by instilling a sense of taste. Teach your baby to take care of her clothes, face, and hair; this will in no way harm her.

Love and affection are a panacea for girls' troubles

Remember about the emotionality of girls, which will only grow with age. Don’t be shy to show your feelings, tell your daughter about love, don’t neglect physical contact - the girl needs strong hugs and kisses like air. Don’t be afraid to spoil your daughter by openly expressing your feelings and emotions.

There cannot be too much love, and the lack of its manifestation will only lead to the fact that the child withdraws into himself. Show love towards your loved ones - your daughter’s husband, brother or sister, thereby demonstrating the correct model of behavior in the family, which in the future will become an example for her.

Caution and responsibility for actions

Girls aged 3 to 5 years are extremely careful. We are not talking about cowardice here, it’s just that kids are already able to assess the danger and consequences of their actions.

Talk to the girl about the dangers of certain actions, trying not to intimidate her, but only to prepare her for the fact that not everything in this world is as good as we would like. It is important to teach the girl reasonable caution, and not to cultivate a sense of inertia in her.

Homework is fun

Wanting to raise a child to be a housewife, many mothers try to put mountains of housework on her shoulders, starting from the age of three, thus accustoming her to women’s work. This approach is wrong, because an overabundance of things to do can cause a child to protest against any housework in one case and an unshakable belief that women’s lot is endless housework in another.

Household responsibilities should not become something boring and uninteresting for girls.

If you are determined to accustom your daughter to housekeeping, then make sure that she really enjoys this activity. Choose only a game form of learning. Teach your daughter to sculpt dough, make sandwiches for dad for breakfast, or prepare healthy fresh juices.

Believe me, at this age the baby will appreciate such “entertainment” in the kitchen much more than boring sweeping the floor or wiping dishes.

Mutual understanding and trust are the key to the development of a holistic personality

Listening and hearing a child at this age is another important rule. By nature, girls are flexible, gentle creatures with a bit of cunning, so the task of parents is to develop personal qualities in their daughter without depriving her of flexibility.

Reconsider your views if you have to be too firm to influence your daughter. It is possible that the child’s protest is just a reaction to the unshakable will of the parents.

Remember that you are raising a successful and happy woman. Remember yourself at this age more often in order to understand your own mistakes and your daughter’s desires, because most of the secrets are kept in your own childhood.

Subtleties of raising a junior schoolgirl

Properly raising a girl aged 6 to 9 years is not so difficult, given that during this period girls tend to be neat, friendly and patient.

Girls of primary school age most of all need the approval, encouragement and support of adults, so they try to behave in such a way as to receive this to the fullest.

School girls: in pursuit of praise and approval

In school, during lessons, girls are flexible and diligent, happy to make contact with the teacher, receiving encouragement for their work in class.

At home, they happily tell their parents about their achievements, receiving satisfaction from their reaction. The task of parents at this age is not to disappoint the girl, supporting her good endeavors.

Friendship at school age: delicate control and support

Girls aged 6-9 years especially begin to value friendship, choosing a girlfriend to whom they can tell their deepest secrets. Relationships with a friend at this age are of great importance for a girl, so under no circumstances should you interfere with friendship.

All that parents can do is to find out more from their daughter about her friends, adjusting her behavior towards them as delicately as possible. It is important to teach your daughter not to depend on the opinions and behavior of close friends, to maintain adequate self-esteem through praise and expressions of love.

A girl must understand what true friendship is, what can be expected from her friends and how to strengthen this connection. Even if childhood problems related to friendships seem insignificant to you, find the time and opportunity to talk about it with your daughter.

Support her in a difficult situation and tell her how to react correctly in certain situations, saving face and not offending her friends.

Romantic hobbies: first experience

At the age of 6-9 years, girls already begin to be interested in boys. Even if this interest is still childishly naive, it exists and we cannot close our eyes to it. If your daughter liked the boy and he reciprocated her feelings (gifts, notes or something like that were exchanged), you should not panic, scoff or be ironic.

The daughter tries on the role of a woman, modeling relationships in the adult world, and this is normal. Tell her how to behave correctly with a boy, help her choose a gift for him and be sure to support her if all this is followed by love disappointment.

Sports and active lifestyle

School, girlfriends, crushes - all this is very important for a girl aged 6 to 9 years, but we should not forget about healthy physical development. Come up with an activity for your daughter - sign her up for a sports section. Tennis, dancing, swimming are excellent options for gentle and sensitive girls.

Daughters with a bit of adventurism and boyish mischief in their character can be invited to try themselves in typically male sports: volleyball, football, martial arts.

In search of harmony: raising a teenage girl

Girls can safely be considered teenagers from the age of 10. At this age, the most important thing for them is not to be different from their peers. That is why parents should try to ensure that their daughter has all the things that are significant for this age, from clothes to gadgets.

Caring for your appearance as a way to prevent the appearance of complexes

If a girl has problems with her appearance: her teeth, hair or skin have deteriorated, she must make an effort to correct this, otherwise she will develop complexes.

Proper motivation and interesting leisure time

If a teenage girl is interested in dancing, music, or sports, parents, for their part, will have to do everything to stir up this interest, for example, you can invite your daughter to go to a competition in another city or take part in a competition.

Secrets of a teenager's friendship with his parents

For a teenage girl, the authority of her parents is very important. Find time to communicate with your daughter, share secrets with her and in return get the opportunity to be privy to her secrets. If your daughter trusts you, then under no circumstances should you give in to the temptation to tell anyone about her secret. This is the only way to save your friendship.

Balanced assessment of a teenage girl

High or low self-esteem in a teenage girl is normal. Teach the girl to adequately evaluate herself, without praising, but also without blaming or speaking disparagingly towards her.

Maintain a balance, maintaining parental authority, instilling in your daughter the basic rules of behavior in a relaxed, friendly manner without moralizing.

Stories about your life at this age, about possible misunderstandings with friends, parents and teachers have an excellent effect. The teenager will definitely appreciate frankness and the parents’ reward for this will be almost unconditional trust in them.

Duo of mother and daughter: proper work on the image of the father

It is difficult for a mother to raise a girl without a father, largely because it is in her father that the girl should feel the main support and protection, which in the future will help her build happy relationships with the opposite sex.

However, if it turns out that the family has broken up, you need to remember the main thing - the daughter should not take on the negativity of her mother’s disappointment in her father. This behavior will cause the girl to develop a negative attitude towards boys and men.

The task of a mother raising a daughter without a father is to create in her daughter’s imagination a positive image of a strong, decent and reliable man. And first of all, the father who left the family should become positive. In the eyes of the girl, he should not become bad, and whether this will happen or not depends on the mother.

To consolidate the image of a positive man in a girl’s head, psychologists recommend drawing her attention more often to good examples in normal, full-fledged families.

Hosting friends who live in a happy family marriage, watching films with happy spouses - all this will help the daughter learn to hope that she will not follow her mother’s example and will be able to create a happy and strong family with her beloved man.

Dad's pride: growing up without mom

Cases where a girl is raised by one father are rare, but they do exist and require attention. A man without a wife and a daughter must not only fulfill the basic duties of a woman around the house, but also provide tenderness, warmth and affection to the extent that a daughter would receive it if she lived with her mother.

The lack of communication with mothers and women is especially acutely felt by girls in adolescence, which can negatively affect the formation of personality.

Dad can influence the situation in two ways:

• become a true friend for your daughter;
• find an adult friend for her (sister, aunt, coach).

If this is not possible, it is worth trying to push the girl to an adult friend, who can be a coach, teacher, or close relative.

There are things that will be easier for a girl to tell a woman, and it’s the dad’s job to make sure that one is nearby at the right time.

In general, if a girl has established contact with her dad, their life is painted with bright colors and filled with positivity, this is very good for forming a positive image of a man in her, based on which she will choose her life partner.

The most common myth about fatherhood is that all men dream of having a son. Of course, everything boyish is obviously understandable and close to the father, so with a boy it may be easier for the father in some matters. However, nothing beats being a baby girl's dad. By the way, daughters simply need male care and affection in order to grow up to be a real woman with the “correct” feminine values. Of course, you need to raise a girl and a boy differently. And if everything is clear to dads with sons, then daughters need to be “included with instructions.” These 25 rules were written especially for dads who are raising daughters.

We are raising a son. A manual for fathers 25 simple tips on how to become a good father TOP 10 instructions that a father should pass on to his son 15 actions that are prohibited by a loving father Is it easy to be a father or dad can, dad can do anything

Well, now you can enjoy fatherhood. Being a girl's dad is an entire art and work, but the return on investment will be significant. If, as an adult, a girl turns into a confident woman, manages to successfully create a family, and becomes a loving wife and mother, then the role of dad in her daughter’s life has been played perfectly.

What is dad willing to do for his beloved daughter? 🙂

Song about dad!! Dad - you are my best friend!

Dad is raising a little daughter (one year old), and she argues

For some reason, the father’s role in raising his daughter is often not given much importance. Since the child is female, then his mother should be involved in his upbringing. However, the father plays no less a role in the girl’s life than the mother. Not only the overall development of the baby, but also her ability to communicate with the male sex in the future depends on the man. And this is only a small part of what a father is simply obliged to give to his daughter.

But often in practice one may encounter the fact that fathers do not show interest in raising their daughters, because they simply do not know how to do it. We would like to give dads some advice that will help them take the right course and guide them in the right direction in solving such a difficult issue.

Participation in education should be equal. Many men act according to some ridiculous stereotype: once a daughter is born, it means that a woman should be fully involved in raising her (supposedly they and the baby are of different sexes, and the father will not teach her anything useful). Of course, the bulk of knowledge should be passed on to the daughter from her mother. These include rules of behavior, basic hygiene, the basics of using cosmetics, and much, much more. But this does not mean at all that the father can completely forget about upbringing, leaving it completely in the hands of his wife. It is in the process of relationships with her father that the girl learns to establish contact with the opposite sex, and the very behavior of the father, his attitude towards his daughter serves as a kind of “ideal” for her, according to which in the future she will evaluate the actions of men. Therefore, in raising a baby, both the role of the mother and the role of the father are, of course, important.

The father must take the position of a “fair father.” Men usually develop two models of behavior with their daughters. The first is comprehensive indulgence of the baby: the father will do for his baby everything she needs. But over time, realizing her power over her dad, the girl will most likely begin to use it. Of course, such behavior will not lead to anything good. The second model of behavior is a “strict dad”, demanding complete and unconditional obedience. It is precisely these kind of fathers that mothers scare children with (“Dad will come now, he will punish you”). In this case, the child is driven solely by fear. Therefore, it is best to take a neutral position (“fair dad”). That is, when necessary, scold, explain what is wrong, when necessary, praise.

Play with your daughter! Most of the daughter’s games seem “not masculine” to the father: dolls, dishes, strollers, outfits, beads and beads are considered by the father as “girlish fun”. Well, how can an adult man take part in this?! Embarrassment and reluctance to show weakness force fathers to refuse to play with their daughter. But in fact, there is nothing wrong with this. It is necessary to throw all these stereotypes, outside views, and shame out of your head. And it’s not necessary to play “girly” games with your daughter, because besides them there are many other entertainments (cubes, mosaics, puzzles, drawing, etc.). Make a house for her dolls, assemble a giraffe from a construction set, teach her to play chess. The main thing is not to deny the baby the game.

Learn to care for a girl. Quite often, fathers, shifting all the “female” responsibilities for caring for their daughter onto their wives, then remain hostage to the lack of knowledge and skills. Hairstyles, manicure, fashion, clothes - men have little understanding of all this. As a result, when the daughter starts talking about “feminine” things that interest her, the father will boldly send her to her mother. But it is not at all necessary to plunge headlong into this world - it is enough to know the basic minimum. Otherwise, the girl may get the wrong idea that it is pointless to approach her father, tell her, or ask her. Let's take a trivial situation as an example: the mother went to run errands, the father stayed at home with his daughter. This requires basic knowledge of how to braid her hair, what to wear, what shampoo to wash her hair with, etc. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with knowing at least a little about all these “feminine” things (by the way, this can cause pride my daughter has such an “advanced” dad).

But, perhaps, the most important thing in raising a daughter by a father is desire. The desire to make her happy, the desire to participate in her upbringing, the desire to give her everything she needs. And only a parent’s heart can tell you exactly how to do this.

There is an opinion among many that raising a child is exclusively a woman’s responsibility. But the masculine and feminine principles take part in the birth of a new life. And both parents have a responsibility to help their children go out into the world by teaching them how to live and interact with other people. From birth, a child is characterized by gender identification, so fathers need to contribute to the upbringing of girls from their early development no less than mothers.

The task of fathers in raising their daughters

The formation of life attitudes begins at birth, thanks to communication with parents. Typically, a father's style and purpose of raising a daughter differs from that of a mother. And how a girl’s life will turn out in the future most often depends on her relationship with her dad. In raising a daughter, the role of the father is quite important and must be approached with great responsibility. Mothers, taking care of their daughters, teach them to live in a family, to be economical and feminine, emphasizing that in the future they will also become wives and mothers.

The task of fathers is to form a girl’s emotional independence, self-discipline and correct ideas about roles in the family. This does not mean that dads need to tell girls every day about social rules, gender differences and other wisdom. Fathers should build positive relationships with their daughters and have fun together.

How does paternal education affect girls?

The main points that directly depend on paternal upbringing:

teenage years; personal life; type of relationship with the opposite sex; choosing a life partner; self-esteem; development of femininity.

Why is the father's personality important in a girl's life?

The strong emotional closeness of daughters and fathers, formed in early childhood, ensures a favorable passage of adolescence. Girls with whom their fathers have walked the path from infancy become more easily acquainted with the laws of a difficult life and quickly find a common language with other men. Children learn a lot from observation and imitate their parents. By watching the relationship between mom and dad and communicating with their father, girls gain their first experience of communicating with a man. Dads should behave with dignity both with their daughters and wives, so that girls see them as a patron and support. Since girls’ life partners are more often men who have the traits of their father.

In addition, the formation of female self-esteem is based more on the opinion of the father. Blind motherly love puts her daughter on a pedestal. Women can praise their princesses for days, but men's assessments are more sober.

Rare fatherly praises are perceived more adequately by children, so they come to the fore and are stored in memory for a long time. Fathers should celebrate their daughters' successes, be proud of them, rejoice in their victories, not forgetting constructive criticism. Men, accustomed to only praising and not making any comments to their daughters, raise self-confident women with high self-esteem. And girls who do not hear any praise from their fathers in childhood usually have low self-esteem, it is difficult for them to realize themselves in life and achieve their goals. It is important for dads to feel and not violate the invisible boundary of what is permitted. Therefore, you need to not overpraise your daughter and not alienate her from yourself with your critical judgments.

Dads who encourage their daughters to try to help their mothers in the kitchen or clean the house have a beneficial effect on the development of girls' femininity. Men should also praise and appreciate their wife so that the baby notices this. So, from childhood, the baby will feel the importance of a woman in the family, and, imitating her mother, learn to be a woman. Paternal hostility, coldness or complete indifference guarantees the presence of problems in relationships with the opposite sex in the future of their daughters. And girls who feel sensitive care, love and warmth from their father from infancy grow up gentle and feel like attractive women.

Stages of raising a daughter by fathers

There are several stages in the productive upbringing of girls by fathers:

Caring for daughters from infancy

From the early childhood of their daughters, fathers should show them special care and attention. As girls become older, they notice that they are more similar to their mothers, not their fathers. Around the age of three, they develop an interest in the differences between the sexes. Men need to be more kind to their babies during this period, give gifts, praise, hugs. Girls must understand that they are representatives of the fair sex.

Dad is the protector and standard of men

It is important that during this period of girls’ development, warmth and harmony reign in the relationships between parents. For growing girls, fathers must play the role of protector.

Since they are the prototype of the future chosen one of their daughters. Because girls, from an early age, develop a model of a husband based on their father’s behavior and the outlines of his appearance. If a girl is surrounded by continuous scandals and misunderstandings between her parents, then in the future she may not have the desire to get married. Dads should set a positive example of family relationships by showing respect and love for mom.

Dad is a comrade

It is necessary for dads to find common interests with their babies. Fathers should take an active part in the education of girls, becoming their playmates. At this stage, daughters develop trust and affection for their father. It is important for men to earn and maintain authority in the eyes of a child. Those who like to raise children with punishment will never be their friends. An authoritarian regime gives rise to girls' fear of their father, which is the key to their indecisiveness in the future. The role of the mother in this period is not to make the daughter afraid of the father, threatening her with paternal punishment for disobedience. This is a difficult time, where you can’t make mistakes in parenting, because it goes along the edge of a knife. Fathers need to find a middle ground in order to raise girls correctly and not raise them to be cowards or rebels who consistently violate prohibitions.

Dad-friend

At the stage of growing up, when girls’ games fade into the background and they begin to be interested in boys, dads should try to become a true friend to their daughters. Men need to communicate more with their daughters by walking in the park, going to the movies with them, or going out into nature. The girls respect their father, who has become a friend, and reveal their secrets to him.

Men who become friends with their daughters and have full communication with them from their birth, themselves become younger at heart. And girls who received proper and thorough education from their fathers choose worthy husbands in adulthood and create a happy family.

How does the absence of a father in the family affect a girl?

Father's love has a direct impact on the formation of relationships with the opposite sex and their daughters, who have become adult women. The internal harmony of girls whose backs were not protected by their father is unbalanced. As a child, they feel unprotected, and as they grow up they will try to defend themselves on their own.

Women who grew up without a father are often strong and do not fully open up to men. They do not have a properly built family model, and there is a weak point due to the lack of paternal care. Adult girls fill the spiritual emptiness that is not filled with parental love by communicating with older men. Girls who grew up on their mother's stories about their father's heroism, as a result of which he died, tend to idealize men. They expect more from the opposite sex than they can give. Such girls pay attention to older men who replace their father. It is very good when they immediately meet a decent man who becomes a faithful life partner and a real defensive wall. Otherwise, women may never find their chosen one, moving from one man to another. More often they become mistresses and, following the example of their mother, raise children without a father.

It is difficult for girls whose father left the family and never returned to find a good husband. If they witnessed scandals and lived with a mother who hated her ex-husband, then when they become women, they can step on their mother’s rake. Such girls do not get married and are fulfilled without men, or they attract liars into their lives who correspond to the image formed by their mother’s stories.

In full-fledged families in which fathers do not take part in raising their daughters due to constant absence from work, girls lack spiritual closeness with their father. Having matured, girls look for the same husband-earner, so they often marry a financially secure man not for love.

Reducing the role of the father in raising daughters

Girls whose mothers and fathers teach them do better at school; they are active, friendly and responsive. The father's role in his daughter's life may be reduced for several reasons:

Absence of father. Dominance of the mother in the family, which does not allow the husband to raise the child. Dad doesn't want to raise children.

Many girls whose fathers did not take part in their lives experience serious disruptions in mental development.

Consequences of a reduced father's role in raising daughters:

low level of intellectual development; weak social activity; deformation of the child’s personality; failure of the gender-role identification process.

How should dads behave when a daughter is born into the family?

Take care of and communicate with the baby from the cradle, keeping up with mom. We need to praise, not just criticize. When making comments, it is important to focus attention on mistakes in behavior, and not to insult the baby as a person, using abusive language. 3. Men should not argue with their wives about educational positions in the presence of their daughter. You need to treat all women with respect, showing your daughter an example of masculine actions.

Her success in her career and happiness in family life depend on the male contribution to the development of a girl. Men should look after, play, love and admire their princesses, and not just bring money into the family. Because the maternal and paternal roles in raising daughters are elevated at the same level. It’s good when men understand this and do not shift the care of children exclusively to women.

Here I compiled an article from various sources on the Internet. I want to print it out and give it to my friend to read. Maybe someone will find it useful:

The role of the father in raising a child

“Becoming a father is very easy. Being a father, on the contrary, is difficult.” V. Bush

A father’s mission is incredibly important - how to behave in such a way as not to spoil, not to break, but to nurture and guide your child on the right path?
First of all, and from the very first day, action is needed, active care for the child - along with the mother. This is important not only for establishing contact, it is important for the men themselves: fatherly love appears precisely with action. The father must take part in raising the child from the moment of his birth.

In order to be a father, it is not enough to be a breadwinner and a distant punitive authority. If you want to have an influence on your child, to instill in him your values, establish real contact with him from birth and continue to support him throughout his life. As one good dad said: “If you want to be close, you will have to work hard for the first couple of years, but at first there will be no return.”

Dad needs to be “involved” in the child’s life, and this means taking responsibility for his well-being, spending a sufficient amount of time with him (weekends are clearly not enough), taking part in joint activities and always being available to the baby: physically and emotionally . Even if you work 22 hours a day, the child should feel that if he needs it, you will put everything aside and be there to help him figure it out and support him. Simply put, all children need from their fathers is attention, friendship, common activities and leisure. Simple and difficult at the same time.

Since dad is the highest authority in the child’s mind, you need to be extremely careful with censure and praise. You should never negatively evaluate a child’s personality - only his actions: not “you are bad,” but “you did something bad.” The predominance of censure over praise makes the child think that dad generally has a low assessment of his personality, and this leads to the formation of low self-esteem in him. Truly productive parenting is often about approving good behavior rather than reprimanding bad behavior.

The father is the child's guide around the world. If he doesn’t brush aside the questions asked, creates a rich environment, supports the child in his endeavors and shows him what to do and what not to do, dad is fulfilling his mission.

Dad is a big child, and this is his unique feature. It is dad who uses the entire world around him as a large playing field for development, dad teaches the child the cause-and-effect principle, dad knows how to use ordinary things in an unusual way and thus expand the boundaries of the child’s consciousness, dad is not afraid of moderate stress, because he knows that they harden. And fathers should under no circumstances “forget” these traits of theirs, but, on the contrary, they need to be protected and cultivated in every possible way; they are one of the most valuable gifts to your children.

Science has long known (and we need to accept this fact) that personal example plays a secondary role: the masculinity of a son does not depend on the masculinity of the father, the main thing is true warmth and closeness.

Dad and son

Dads always try to raise real men from their sons, but sometimes this good intention results in excessive severity and detachment - so that he does not grow up to be a “mumbler”, and “it is not proper for real men to be gentle.” Meanwhile, excessive severity develops fears in the child. If there is spiritual closeness between father and son, children grow up calmer and more prosperous, even if such closeness is not observed with their mother. If the relationship with dad is warm, if the son communicates as an equal, he is more likely to internalize parental values ​​as his own. The simplest recipe for establishing this closeness is to relax, stop being just a dad and start receiving sincere pleasure and joy from communicating with your baby.

The father instills in his son vitality and an understanding that there are rules and norms in the world. If dad wants to gain authority and raise a person who has internalized the norms, and not just outwardly obeys them out of fear, then any prohibitions, rules, etc. should be explained, and not given in the form of orders.

The child must understand that dad needs to obey because he knows what to do and how he will do it, and because dad wants his son to grow up the same way, and not because dad is stronger and has a belt.
But do not forget to correlate the level of your requirements and the child’s age capabilities: the inability to fulfill inflated requirements leads to a loss of self-confidence.

And, of course, dad is an example; from him the boy “draws” his future self: a man, husband and father. It doesn’t matter what you say to your child, it’s important how you behave - the baby will only imitate your behavior.

Dads need to remember that sons just love spending time with them . A father who does not pay enough attention to his son may even turn into his enemy, however, this will fully manifest itself when your son turns from a boy into a young man and a young man. Therefore, from early childhood, communicate with your son as much as possible, find common “male” topics with him, try to make sure that he is interested in the family, and not in the company of teenagers drinking beer and doing other bad things, otherwise later inquire baby, it may be too late.

However, most often, the picture of upbringing has a banal scenario: the father, tired after a day of work, comes home in the evening and, after dinner, takes a place on the sofa. Maybe he will ask the baby about his affairs, but at the same time, without listening to the story to the end, he will snore loudly. This role of the father in family upbringing is reduced to zero.

But please, dads, when you come home in the evening, give your child at least 30 minutes - ride him on your back, wrestle with him, read him a book at night, give him a bath. For a child, these moments of communication with you are also very important. This will create a deeper connection to you.

The role of the father in the early years is also very important, because without him the boy can grow up to be a “mama’s boy.” And in later life the lack of presence will be noticeable.

Another point that needs to be taken into account is that the younger the child, the more time he has. A week has passed for us, a month for the child. And if a dad can only give his child once a week, then for a child it’s once a month. And you yourself understand what it is. Dad visits once a month, which means dad visits once every 4 months. The child is weaning himself. In some families where dad comes home late, the kids' daily routine is shifted - they go to bed not at 9-10, children's time, but at 11, 12, 1, so that they can at least somehow see dad, rub against their overgrown cheek.

There is also a very interesting test that scientists conduct for children: they are asked to draw their family. And often there is no dad in children's drawings; when they ask where he is, the children say the phrase they are used to - at work. Or the father is present, but he is sleeping - the child draws the father’s usual state. Life now is such that successful working men are rare guests. This life is very fast and a child needs a father for the first seven years, when everything is imprinted . Then he is also very necessary, in a different way. And time, which is traditionally considered not masculine, flies out.

Experts note that it is quite difficult to raise a full-fledged personality, be it a boy or a girl, without male influence.

What is important is what his parents give him; in particular, his father can give him something that no one else in the world can give him.

Let's see in what aspects of the child's development and upbringing the father's participation will be most useful:

1. In the first year of life, the role of the father in the physical development of the child and the formation of basic motor skills is very significant. As a rule, fathers play with their children differently from how mothers entertain their children: fathers are more inclined to active physical fun, they are not afraid to throw their children, spin them, teach them to somersault, ride them on their shoulders, etc. This stimulates physical activity in children.

2. A father can become an invaluable assistant in the development of a child's thinking. It has been noted that fathers can teach a child to speak faster and more correctly than mothers and grandmothers: this is due to the fact that fathers, unlike mothers, do not distort words and do not “lib”, trying to “adapt” to the little one. As a rule, men are better at teaching children how to manipulate objects (especially construction sets and puzzles); interaction with the father broadens the children’s horizons and helps them develop a wider field of interests.

3. The father figure is important for building constructive relationships in the mother-child pair. In a family with harmonious relationships, at a certain stage of the child’s development (usually after a year), the father helps him “separate” from his mother as painlessly as possible and develop an optimal distance between them. Some psychologists even recommend that fathers take the initiative in such significant events from the point of view of the child’s maturation and socialization as “moving” the child into his own crib, “getting to know” the kindergarten, etc. It is the father who is a kind of “guide” of the child to the outside world, thanks to whom the child feels safe.

4. The father teaches the child to adequately perceive social hierarchy (subordination and accountability). He makes him understand what authority means, introduces him to such social tools as approval and censure (or punishment). This is due to the fact that, unlike the mother, who loves the child simply because he “is,” the father usually makes certain demands on the child that he must meet. It should be noted that in Russia there are many families where the mother takes on this role of the father in raising a child - she deprives the child of “unconditional” love and begins to make certain demands on him. In this case, there must be someone in the family who takes on the traditional maternal role. A child must feel that he is valuable in himself, regardless of his achievements, otherwise this is fraught with serious psychological disorders.

5. The role of the father in such an aspect of raising a child as his gender self-identification is important. Boys, looking at their father, form a certain behavioral model, which they will subsequently (ideally) adhere to. For girls, communication with dad helps them identify themselves as women. Moreover, the correspondence of the real qualities of the father with the prevailing ideas about masculinity in society is not important: the closeness of the father with the children is much more significant.

There is an opinion that a father becomes necessary for a child at the moment when the baby is ready for meaningful communication and learning, but this is fundamentally wrong. Since the father in this case deprives himself of valuable communication with the child at an early stage of the baby’s development, precisely at the moment when deep and inexplicable trust is formed between parent and child. This is the situation when we just love and not for anything, but that’s just all... If dad gets involved in communication later, when the baby can already explain something, it will be difficult for dad to understand the baby, since there will be no emotional connection by then installed. This is precisely one of the main reasons that fathers remain on the periphery of family relationships.

A father can perform childcare responsibilities no worse than a mother, thereby destroying existing stereotypes. This greatly strengthens the family and has a positive effect on the development of the child, because the baby trusts his father as much as his mother, and the father is filled with a sense of belonging and real male pride.

No less important is the role of the mother. Dad, just like mom, influences her daughter’s behavior, self-confidence, and life values. But not all dads may know how to raise their daughter.

Mandy Velez has two fathers - her own and her stepfather. Based on her relationship with them and the opinions of her friends, she wrote advice for dads,.

I'm not a father and I never will be. But I am a daughter, and I have two fathers: my own and my stepfather. Over the short 23 years of my life, I have come to understand that there is a special connection between dad and daughter. So special that the actions and love of a father will most likely determine what kind of person his daughter will become.

Inspired by Roxane Gay's article, Tips for Raising Daughters, I've put together my own list of things I think all dads need to know to be the best influence on their daughters. I based this on my own experience and the opinions of other daughters.

1. From day one you must know: she will always remain your little girl. But you will have to make an effort to maintain it.

2. Don't force certain interests on her just because she is a girl. Don't insist solely on dolls and flowers. Play with her both cars and LEGO.

3. Allow her to help you with work or household chores. Then she will grow up to be a woman who feels confident in the workplace, regardless of the content of the work.

4. Talk to her mother as an equal, not as a subordinate. Then in relationships with her partners she will expect the same.

5. Show her your “sensitive side.” She will understand that being sensitive does not mean being weak.

6. Let you have jokes and games that only you two understand. Trust me, she will remember them all her life.

7. Encourage her to do what she is afraid of and always be there to help her cope with her fear.

8. Make her promises and keep them. If someone breaks her heart, let it be a stranger, and not one of the closest people in her life.

9. Teach her everything you do well.

10. Ask her to teach you something she can do well that you can’t.

11. Try to accept her interests, even if you do not share them. Let her learn from you that no matter what her talents are - ballet, drawing or wrestling with boys - they are important.

12. This is especially important if her interests are rather “girly”. Explain that they are always important, no matter what they are.

13. If you wouldn't tell your son something, don't tell your daughter.

15. Don't talk with a hint of disgust about her changing body and interest in sex. By doing this you will only teach her to be ashamed of herself and her feelings.

16. Don't make demeaning, objectifying remarks when talking about other women's bodies. Your daughter hears this and will definitely apply it to herself.

17. Talk to her about strong women, not just strong men. Then she will want to become one of them, and will know that she has a chance.

18. Discuss problems with your wife in front of your daughter. She will remember that a woman has a say in relationships and will choose a partner who will respect her voice.

19. When she has a boy, there is no need to joke about a gun for shooting grooms. This conveys only one message - that you do not trust her choice.

20. Protect the unjustly offended and injured. Believe victims when they talk about their problems. You will teach her compassion and show her that standing up for the truth is not something undignified and unmanly.

21. If she has your example in front of her, you won't have to scare off the bad guys at all. She herself will want the best.

22. If she does end up with a bad guy, be there for her when her heart breaks. This can happen, the chances are considerable. Be there so she can come to you instead of going back to this guy.

23. Tell her that only she can make decisions about what to do with her body.

24. Compliment her and her mother more often.

25. Tell her how much you love her. Text her. She needs to be confident that you will be on her side no matter what.

Every dad knows that being the father of a girl is both art, work and dedication, because you have to constantly fight the desire to protect your fragile, gentle daughter from the dangers of the world and at the same time teach your daughter to be strong, courageous and to conquer this world for herself. A good father understands: male care is necessary for his daughter so that she grows up with the “correct” feminine values.

This is exactly the kind of dad Michael Mitchell is - blog author Life to Her Years, where he collects recommendations and advice for young fathers of girls like himself. Now this set of wisdom for dads already contains more than 400 rules, and the site’s editors have chosen 33 of the most touching and wise.

1. Love and respect her mother. Don't be shy about showing your feelings in public. As your girl grows up, chances are high that she will fall in love with people who treat her the way you treated her mom.
2. Always be there. When spending time with a child, both the quality of this time and its quantity are important. Be genuinely interested in the things she cares about. Participate in every stage of her life - the baby needs you.
3. Be a hero. Save and help her out every day, every minute. Red cape and blue tights are required)
4. Savor every moment spent together. One day she's crawling around the house in diapers, the next you're handing her the car keys and before you know it, you're walking her down the aisle. Life goes by pretty quickly. Save your minutes.
5. Buy her a glove and teach her how to play baseball. (you can buy your daughter a tennis racket, soccer ball, guitar, etc. and teach her to play - editor’s note) she will feel proud and feel an advantage over other girls.

6. She will quarrel with her mother. Choose wisely which side you're on.
7. Yes, you look stupid when you play hide and seek. But it is necessary. Cuckoo.
8. Buy her what she asks for. Yes, and these pearls too. The day will come when she will ask for a puppy. Just say “Yes” and that’s it.
9. Put down your book or tablet and enjoy communication while she takes a bath.
10. Teach her how to handle money.
11. Buy her the same sneakers like you, as soon as she learns to walk.
12. Dance with her without waiting for her wedding day.
13. Take her fishing. Most likely it will squirm more than a worm on a hook. This is fine.

14. Tell her that she is beautiful. Again and again. Every day. As she grows up, television and magazines will begin to convince her otherwise.
15. Teach her how to change a tire on her car. A flat tire should not cause panic. But rest assured, the first time this happens, she will call you in tears.
16. Take her on a hike. There are a lot of amazing and interesting things in nature - much more than in the city and even more so in an apartment.
17. Place her on your lap behind the wheel.
18. She is as smart as any boy. Make sure of this.

19. When will she learn to kiss , she will kiss your whole face. Encourage this practice.
20. Wear it on your arms and shoulders as much as possible. While your back is still strong, it is still very tiny.
21. She will be looking forward to when you return home from work. Don't be late.
22. If mom goes to the pool with her, come too! Don't be alarmed if there are no other dads there. It's their loss.

23. Never miss her birthday and always keep your promises.
24. Teach her to roller skate.
25. Roll in the grass with her. This is very good for the soul.
26. Somewhere in between when she turns three years old and her sixth birthday, there is a chance that she will ask you to marry her. Refuse her very gently.
27. If she had a nightmare, take her to your bed. There is nothing more comforting in life than crying on your dad's shoulder.
28. Pushing her on a swing in the park, Remember that her “faster and higher” is a little different from yours.

29. Let her know that he can always return home. It doesn't matter when.
30. Remember that at some point she will spread her wings and fly away from you like a beautiful butterfly. Enjoy it while it's a caterpillar.
31. Write her letters by hand every year. for her birthday. Give them to her when she goes to college, becomes a mother, or when you think she needs them the most.
32. Learn to trust her. Give her more freedom as she gets older.
33. Ice cream can work wonders . Know her favorite taste.

(Adapted from Michael Mitchell's blog Life to Her Years)

And for dessert - a cute video about how a 3-year-old daughter tells her dad about her first novel and her kindergarten boyfriend :)