Why does a man need a family? Sacred marriage or why do we need a family? Global Conspiracy of Women

Alex Devona

Provocative title, perhaps. But I’m interested in hearing reasoned opinions, and I hope there will be some.
Since childhood, each of us has been imposed a model of behavior, certain values, life guidelines, which are a priori considered universal, correct for everyone: you must study well, find a decent job, get married, have children.
I will not discuss the origins and development of the institution of family as such, but I believe that today it has outlived its usefulness. Nowadays, each person is on his own; there is no need to count on the help of the “community” as in the old days. A modern socially mature man often has to help his elderly parents, including financially. In such conditions, starting your own family often means taking on more responsibility and costs. Moreover, for a long time, if we are talking about children. But does this make sense? What are the benefits (not necessarily material)? Why hang another stone around your neck?

Just don’t talk about the proverbial glass of water on your deathbed. Firstly, not all children have good relationships with their parents, so expecting that your children will work for you in the future is, to say the least, stupid. Secondly, it is not a fact that children will grow up rich and successful.

@, Hello! There can be no answer to your question - because there is no such person as a “modern man” - there are many men, our contemporaries, who differ (sometimes diametrically) in age, health, education, upbringing, national traditions, character, life goals, attitudes to women and children, lifestyle, needs, habits, etc., etc., including - they differ in their views on the family and its necessity in his life and at this particular stage. Because even in the life of one man, with age and other circumstances, views change on whether he needs a family or not, whether he wants or does not want to have his own home with a wife and children.

Alex Devona

Yes! The more different opinions, the more interesting it is.

Hello, Alex Devona! The site has articles about and - and In the comments to the second text, a forum participant asks a question similar to yours: why does a modern independent woman need a man?

I thought you might be interested in reading)

Olesya Verevkina

It seems to me that, as Irina Kornilova said, there cannot be a definite answer here. What does it mean to need it or not? Only you can decide whether you need it or not. Some people are used to being alone in life, they don’t need anyone at all, while others (my ex-husband, for example) got married early, left his mom and dad for his wife, got divorced many years later and is alone. Basically, he’s not used to living and doesn’t want to. He needs someone to take care of him like a woman, to wait for him from work, to accompany him to work, etc. It all comes from the family in which you grew up.

Alex Devona

Hello, Maria Vinogradova!

Thank you for your answer. It was interesting to read.
Yes, modern women with a progressive upbringing are the most interesting (for me, at least). I like to communicate with people on equal terms, I like active, enthusiastic, educated, (possibly) talented people who have critical thinking, free from outdated stereotypes and imposed opinions and desires. I also appreciate these qualities in girls. But it turns out that a modern woman does not need, or rather is simply not interested in, a man as such; the social role of a man has become devalued. It turns out that such a concept as “family” is not applicable in this case, and a partnership with a modern woman will be based on friendship (I would even say, on mutual interest in each other as individuals) and sex?

P.S.
By the way, Irene, I will be glad if you also join the discussion :)

I believe that one of the main reasons for starting your own family is personal development. If you create a healthy, constructive relationship with your partner, then such close interaction will contribute to development. A loved one reflects to us our qualities, including those that prevent us from developing and realizing ourselves. But he doesn’t just reflect, but in a constructive relationship he is able to talk about them in such a way that we can hear, and not retreat into our defensive reactions. In principle, we are developed by contact with the outside world, people, and family is the opportunity to create deep contact.

There is also another side: all of us (I don’t know of exceptions) in the parental family partially received such treatment of ourselves, which had a destructive effect on our personality, such mini-traumas (and in some places actual traumas), ineffective stereotypes of behavior; often did not receive enough love in the form in which we perceive it more (for example, we wanted approval, praise, hugs, but received more care). Therefore, by creating our own family, we have the opportunity to get what we wanted and still want and change our behavioral stereotypes to more mature ones.

What I've described is about healthy relationships. If you create unhealthy, for example, codependent relationships, then on the contrary, this will interfere with the development of the personality, and may even destroy it. And the choice to create/not to create, everyone makes for himself - he will risk being uncomfortable and find the strength to change in himself in order to live better and have an additional resource, or he will remain alone and develop less or try to look for other ways to do this (but still they will be different).

I read everything very carefully twice... Probably, I am not a modern person and steeped in stereotypes. Why? Yes, because all these arguments seem to me to be “from the evil one.” I have a family. There is a spouse, there are children. And I personally feel very comfortable in this “stereotype”. I am happy to carry out the household responsibilities that the “stereotype” of the family imposes. I love my wife, I adore my children. I enjoy not only obtaining material resources to provide for the “unit of society”, but also tinkering around the house. It was not a burden to not get enough sleep, to run to the dairy kitchen, to wash diapers, and to bathe the babies. Even swearing over little things is also a thrill. This is my family. This is the only valuable thing I have created in this life. Created in the true sense of the word. Everything else doesn't matter as much anymore. It is with great pleasure that I periodically look at pre-revolutionary photographs of my great-grandparents. Photos of families that did not fit on three benches. Stereotype? Or maybe the main meaning of this life?

Alex Devona

先生道場, thank you for your answer!

I'm glad that you found the answer to this question for yourself.

For me, it is much more important to first understand why I live? What's the point?
Someone finds it in art, science, some other type of creative activity, for others it is family, children...
I'm already quite a few years old, but I'm still searching. It can be sad to realize the uselessness and meaninglessness of my existence, but I do not lose hope of finding the answer sooner or later.
To give birth to similar creatures without understanding the meaning of this process is somehow wrong for me. I do not consider myself a carrier of any unique genes in order to feel my responsibility to the Universe for their further distribution; I have neither a noble surname nor property that will need to be inherited by someone after my death. There are millions of people like me in Russia alone. Their children will definitely not be worse than mine. I also don't want to have children for someone else's "greater good" (read: produce a consumable item for the government). And in principle, I don’t feel any tender feelings for children, or a desire to raise or educate someone.
After all, if my hypothetical child came up to me one day and asked the same question, what would I answer?

Elena.

Alex Devona, if you are many years old, how are you sure that you will have more children? Maybe nature specifically gives people such thoughts so that they don’t have children. a kind of selection. no one will remember about you later, and no one will look at your photos.
Consumables? Why? don't like being them? Why do you then live in the state?

Alex Devona

Elena, hello!

don't like being them? Why do you then live in the state?

Elena.

Alex Devona, hello to you too.
I agree that a lot does not equal a lot, but when it’s no longer a little, a man’s fertility decreases just as much as a woman’s, so without giving birth, you won’t know what you’re capable of.
A mere mortal like me, like you, also has a couple and does not have to have all those everyday joys that you wrote about in order to be happy. Ordinary people live with ordinary people, but the older people get, the more difficult it is for them to get along with each other, and it’s probably even more difficult to communicate with you, who is looking for the meaning of life for no apparent reason.
You're right about your son. This is the most painful topic for any mother. A topic that makes my heart cry, but I think it’s very rare that a woman will refuse to give birth just based on what you write.
where should you live? Would you like to join some non-state tribe?

For me, it is much more important to first understand why I live? What's the point?

I'm already quite a few years old, but I'm still searching.

, but I don't lose hope of finding the answer sooner or later.

Nowadays, each person is on his own; there is no need to count on the help of the “community” as in the old days. A modern socially mature man often has to help his elderly parents, including financially. In such conditions, starting your own family often means taking on more responsibility and costs. Moreover, for a long time, if we are talking about children. But does this make sense? What are the benefits (not necessarily material)? Why hang another stone around your neck?

What are the benefits, you ask?
To be happy! :)
Is this possible without a family? I think yes, but without self-love, definitely not! :)

Alex Devona

Olga Sakharova, thank you for your answer, otherwise I was already upset that the topic had slipped into despondency and second-rate jokes about some tribes...

Do you remember the movie "Fight Club"? :)

Yes. But most often it is not mutual. In my last long-term relationship, I encountered harsh criticism instead of the moral support I needed.

I love them, but I try to keep to myself so as not to be misunderstood and criticized again.

Yes, I really love this movie. Do you think the same fate awaits me as the main character?

Now I have an object of adoration, but it’s stupid to expect reciprocity. But these feelings do not allow me to forget that I am still a living person, and not just an autonomous biological unit.

After the breakup, I somehow cooled off towards women, or something.

Alex Devona

Are you interested in exploring this scenario and changing it to another?

Olga Sakharova,
By the way, I think I started to understand why I don’t want a family. For me, all people are strangers to varying degrees.

By the way, I think I started to understand why I don’t want a family. For me, all people are strangers to varying degrees.

I have good friends who appreciate and support me. I was lucky in this! But I don’t talk about personal things with anyone at all. Lately, not with anyone at all.

somehow everything happens by itself.

True, sometimes my mood and self-esteem suffer from this.

For me, all people are strangers to varying degrees.

Alex Devona

Olga Sakharova,

Thank you. I understand that the diagnosis is not fatal, but what should I do with all this baggage? I don't know how to delve into the subconscious. Moreover, change something in it.

I understand that the diagnosis is not fatal

but what should I do with all this baggage? I don't know how to delve into the subconscious.

Continuing the conversation about marriage.

Let's think about this question: Why does a modern man need a wife? We won't talk about slobbering mama's boys, drunks, etc.

Here's what we'll talk about:

He is 28 or older, has a good education, his own home, a prestigious, well-paid job, possibly his own business. You will say - “There are no such people!” But there are some...

So what can a modern woman offer such a man?

1. Guardian of the hearth. And what exactly will she “protect”? Maintain cleanliness and order in the house? So for this you don’t need a wife at all. If you are too lazy yourself, then there are a lot of companies like “Wife for an Hour”, they will come and clean it up and put things in order. It’s not expensive at all, but if you negotiate bypassing the office, it’s even cheaper. And most importantly, much cheaper, keeper of the hearth.

2. Sex. After the sexual revolution of the 20th century, waking up in the morning with a girl you didn’t know just yesterday is as easy as shelling pears. And finding such a girl is also not a problem - nightclubs, dating sites, etc. and so on. Well, the prostitution business has not gone away either - on the contrary, it has grown and offers its clients more and more new services - including support and contracts on an ongoing basis.

3. It's delicious to eat. Firstly, many modern women cook in such a way that it is better to read a prayer before eating. Secondly, and this is not a problem in the modern world! Reach out to the phone and they will bring you whatever you want - from pizza to soup. And it will be even warmer. Again, there are a proliferation of cafes with tasty and inexpensive food, and all sorts of supermarkets are littered with ready-made salads and cutlets.

4. Procreation. If we take into account the number of divorces in our country, then somehow this point can be questioned. The likelihood that the children will remain with their father is negligible. But there is one more point, surrogacy + nanny. It sounds scary, of course, but it is becoming more and more important in our lives. And the cost of this service is decreasing year by year, and there are more and more women wanting to earn extra money in this way.

5. Love is a carrot. Do you need to get married for this?

And here are the remarks of various men on this topic:

Imagine, my friends and I have very good finances and we are not married, we are over 30 and there are 10 to 15 of us. Can you tell me why? But because while you’re earning a living and showing off, you’ll learn so much that you won’t want to drag a single fool into the registry office. A man is not an ATM, he needs to be fed and respected, and not fooled and deceived. However, the venality of women allows us to turn around without straining, we stand in line to sit in the Bentley.

I'm looking for a wife-friend, but what do I see around? Under 30 years old is a different generation, incomprehensible and unpleasant, and women of the same age are either embittered divorcees, or a vamp in search of a “last chance,” or grown-up “mothers.” I haven't found anyone yet.

Article about me. I am 42, higher education, university teacher + my own small business. There are no bad habits or chronic diseases. Fitness - every day. Divorced 2 weeks ago. The eldest daughter (17 years old) wanted to stay with me, the youngest (9 years old) was left by the court to her mother. Now we share an apartment. I don’t need to cook or clean (I’m used to this from the army). I satisfy the need to take care of someone at the expense of my daughters. Now I'm immersed in work. I'm not going to get married. How can I imagine that for “access to the body” I will again have to endlessly listen to complaints and reproaches - it’s better without a wife. You can always find a girl who will do this for relatively little money.

I had the experience of communicating with a beautiful lady. But still, I need a partner in my life, not a “director”. There are already enough directors above me.

The reason is that women want to control and do not leave their own personal space, and also because of the immense jealousy of women. They interfere with work and communication with friends, and for men this is very important.

Why should a man always be obliged? Alas, the life of men and its priorities evolve, and loneliness, like freedom, is deposited in their subconscious: “I’ll live for myself, and not for someone else.”

Women's responses to these comments. So nothing special "whiners", "losers", and the like

And what do you think?

And more on the topic on behalf of a woman

Sometimes strange questions come into my head. For example, does a modern person need a family? Is the family a relic of the past? What does it give? Support? It’s good if so, but in most cases you have to deal with the opposite situation. Then why?

I ask this question to the first person I meet and get the answer: “There should be a wife, because there should be one. Her job is to sit at home and raise children”... It’s very reminiscent of the answer of another friend of mine about the dog. When I was indignant at why he bought a dog, a living (if anyone doesn’t know) creature, if he doesn’t pay any attention to it at all, doesn’t play, doesn’t walk and sees it for five minutes in the morning and evening, he calmly replied: “That’s why she’s a dog.” "My job is to feed her so that she doesn't die. Her job is to love me for that."

I don’t want to believe that men think the same about their wives, and, nevertheless, they behave very similarly to them. I feed her, she loves me. What else? And indeed. What do women who get married, give birth to children and then sit at home count on? At least, unlike dogs, they had a choice. But that's another story - let's talk about why husbands need this?

I asked the same question to different men. This question sounded like this: “Does a modern man need a family and, if so, why?”

This is what they told me.

Of course not. Why do I need a family? I can eat in a restaurant, do laundry at the laundromat, sleep with whoever I want, whenever I want. Family is just extra problems, but I already have enough problems.

I nodded. This is the most common answer. At least that's what 90 percent of women hear as soon as they start hinting at making the relationship official. This is an "excuse".

I moved on to the next survey victim.

Need not. It is simply impossible to implement it in the form in which you want, which means it makes no sense.

That is?

A perfect man needs an equally perfect woman. And the perfect woman is himself, only with a clitoris.

I thought about it. - So, perfect women don’t exist?

No.

Does this mean family is impossible?

Yes.

Well. Also an opinion. Next!

A strange question - why is it needed?

Well how...

Are you getting married?

No, what are you talking about!

Children are needed, but family is not needed. Or later...

When later?

Sometime later...

But family is good!

Only in pictures. In reality, I work constantly, I have no time for my wife, or for children, or for anything. And why then have a family if I can’t... use it?

Logical... At least he thinks about others...

And then I thought - maybe I’m asking the wrong question to the wrong men. Their answers play into my hands, but make my material appear biased...

And I went to the right men.

“Of course I need it,” the right man answered me, and I sighed with relief.

What for?

To admire your wife all your life.

I sank. This is not an answer. This is all very romantic and wonderful, but not viable. You can admire your wife at first and then... sometimes. Well, or after 50 years of marriage, at least this is a well-deserved reason to admire her patience. But that doesn't sound like a justification for marriage.

I glanced at the contact list on icq and decided to ask this question to a man who was married, was happily married and, therefore, could destroy my entire theory with one blow. Which, in principle, is what happened.

Hello. Can you help me?

Money?

ABOUT! No.

(Oh, these happy married people to me!)

I’m writing an article about family here. Answer me a couple of questions: do you need a family and why? (strange question for a family man)

At 30, of course, you don’t need a family, but when you’re 60, who’s going to carry the cash?

I didn't think about this!

Family is an investment in old age.

What is the likelihood that your children will take care of you? - I asked venomously.

If they don’t exist, then the probability will be zero. I'll try to teach them. I just look at my parents and understand that this is important.

I tried to say a couple more barbs that would destroy his mercantile theory, but then he dealt that fatal blow...

And in general I like it.

What do you like? - I pretended that I didn’t understand what he was talking about.

Me, wife, child. Picnic with parents. Dinner upon arrival home.

My mood was deteriorating every second. It turns out that in nature there are men who like family (why haven’t I met them before?).

But let's get back to the analysis. This means that there are men for whom family is important. Most likely, these are people who observed a completely happy picture of their parents’ marriage and are now repeating it. They know it's the right thing and they do the right thing. Does this mean that only children from equally normal families can have the ability to have a normal family? Are children from single-parent or unhappy families completely uninterested in family? But, if this is so, then the percentage of family people will constantly melt, as the number of children raised in a complete family is melting. On the other hand, they say there is nothing stronger than the families of former orphanages, so what is it?

Based on the results of surveys, heart-to-heart conversations and my life experience, it turned out that the family had outlived its usefulness and was no longer needed. But there were those who remained faithful to the old traditions and, therefore, they have some kind of truth of their own. But which one?

You see, if you are not married, you are a p(*censored*)s in every sense.

I choked on cigarette smoke. Finally I heard the truth.

All business. All! They marry healthy women who can give birth to healthy children, and they themselves (*censored*) are young fools in rented apartments.

All! That is, not the absolute majority, but everyone.

I turned green.

Well, maybe, except...

Except who?

Except for those who don’t have money for rented apartments... And everyone understands this. And colleagues, and wives, and these... girls themselves...

I finished smoking and tried to come to my senses. So, now I knew the worst secret about big business, but it still didn’t answer why they needed a family. Moreover, it did not give an answer.

The myth that family is an indicator of stability is as outdated as the myth that masturbation makes hair grow on the palms of your hands. It has long been clear to everyone that politicians who have lived with one wife for 40 years are a lie. The ideal husband has tried all the underage models, and the ideal wife has tried all possible antidepressants. They are doomed to each other, shackled by one chain, spouses are people harnessed to one team. A pathetic parody of a happy marriage. Male chauvinism and female alcoholism. Role models for voters, neighbors and their own children.

Why do they still adhere to this stupid tradition? Why don't they admit: "Yes, I'm divorced. Yes, I'm single. Yes, I'm homosexual! (and so is my wife)."

Why?

How everyone loved Bill Clinton after they found out that he was cuckolding his boring wife by staining Monica Lewinsky's blue dress! He immediately became closer to the people! Why do people draw parallels between a faithful husband and a faithful business partner? It's not related in any way.

Perhaps it's all about the children! They want to be fruitful and multiply, and for this they need a family.

“I don’t need a family at all in order to be fruitful and multiply,” another friend broke my theory. - Yes, a woman should be healthy, good, I will take part in upbringing... but what does marriage have to do with it?

Logical. Marriage has nothing to do with it. Anyway, they have all long ago turned into “visiting dads” and do not educate from morning to night.

What to do? My mother always taught me to put myself in another person's shoes. I’ll try to put myself in my wife’s shoes and be indignant on her behalf and say a few words in defense of the family. Well, firstly, about the glass of water that she will give if something happens and, secondly, what... what... how is this? A! About the fact that it is very important for a man to know that someone is waiting for him at home. That this someone is glad to see him back. That he is the dearest. That you can tell him everything. That you can be real with him. That he knows everything about you. What will not betray. He won't quit. Everything will be forgiven. It is very important. It's the most important. And it is true. True - if that's the case. And I sincerely envy such families and am glad if they exist. Now, perhaps, I will deprive my wife of the right to speak, otherwise she will destroy my harmonious theory about the death of marriage. Wife, know your place!

Summarizing all of the above, I came to the conclusion that... No. I came to two conclusions at once. The first conclusion is this: a modern man does not need a family. And the second conclusion is exactly the opposite: after all, if they start families, it means someone needs it...

True, my first love is O.N. - holds different views: “This

an underdeveloped woman needs a family more than an underdeveloped man. IN

In relation to everyone else, this thesis is very controversial."

Well, let's go

figure it out.

Why does a man need a wife?

Why does a man need a wife, what attracts him to her? - Most men

will answer that his Wife attracts him as a possible Soul Friend, Lover,

Mistress of the House and Mother to Children. Now notice that those

moments that attract a man to his Wife (first of all, “Soul Friend”

and “Mistress”), he can get without any problems even without a family. But the fact that

he could only receive from his wife and only in the family (“The mother of his children”), in

not very relevant at a young age. I. it turns out the guy is about 25-27 years old

There is simply no point in starting a family...

quite responsible relationship...

Of course, there may be DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES and INDIVIDUAL FEATURES.

For example:

If a guy has Business in the first place, he has a family (like a calm rear, like

A den where he can always lie down and “lick his wounds”) is rather needed.

Convenient. And if a guy’s first priority is Freedom, his family will be his sooner

burden. Lazy needs a family with a Caring Wife (although does the family need him?

a special question), but an energetic and hardworking young man without

labor services independently. It turns out that the young man needs a family

a man who is not popular with women: without a family of women and

he doesn’t have sex, but in exchange for marriage he will get it. Naturally, my favorite

There is no need for women in the family to solve such problems. Hard life more often

predisposes to living together, light predisposes to fluttering... Those who

seeks peace and stability, more often choose family, and those who seek novelty and

set lunch in a restaurant: not so tasty, not sophisticated, but fast and not

you need to look for and think about something every time. A gourmet will not order a set menu

lunch, but it will suit the hard worker quite well...

Why does a woman need a Husband?

I want a husband, I want a husband, I want a husband...

The song is like this

A husband usually attracts a woman as a possible soulmate, support and

Protector, Lover, Sponsor, Home Maker and Father. And the answer will be

depend on what from this list is important to her first of all, how much

is important, and what is important she can only get in the family.

* And most girls answer that they need a husband...

I, however, suggest that this is nothing more than a MYTH. Hypnosis, illusion.

Moreover, girls have always been divided into Amazons and Housewives. And by

at least for a strong, free, developed, active woman, family is not

necessary. The family may be pleasant and interesting to her, but she can perfectly

live without her.

On the other hand, the myth that a WOMAN NEEDS A FAMILY is tenacious and

effective. This myth is so “dense”, it has so permeated all of our

life and our entire consciousness that it has already become almost REALITY. Girls

worried and worry when they can’t get married - and no smart

considerations cannot reassure them. And what a joy, what an event for them -

wedding! And if a girl does not become a philosopher, she does not argue that her family

But the guy - not yet.

And the girl turns out to need the family more than the guy.

Years go by, he has already married, she has already given birth. What's the deal

interest in family? As a rule, it remained the same. Of course, a man with

As we get older we need more and more family, family comfort, but the whole point is...

that at least until the age of fifty he has great opportunities for choice

women. He needs a family, but not a specific woman, because

There are many women interested in him. And he can choose. And his wife -

no, or rather, her choice is more limited.

* For most, it is limited only: with this husband - or none.

Dating service workers talk about the problems of their clients. 20-25

years - there are guys, no girls. 30-40 years old - a lot of women, completely

there are no men. (As the consultant admits: “If suddenly someone calls us

a man of this age asks if I am ready for him from the other end of the line to

drag a hook!") 50-60 years - Men appear, but do not look at

age-mates, but they are looking for young people who do not look at them. For 60 years -

Women completely disappear, and men are still searching... And if you take it now

specific couple, then, as a rule, they are more interested in family life

But not a single smart woman would agree with this. She knows it's true and

that is why she does not agree with this. She is participating in a WORLD-WIDE CONSPIRACY

Global Conspiracy of Women

To make it clearer what the trick is, let’s look at a simple example. Here it is

the company "MMM", which has no problems, and there is the company "ZhZhZh", which has something from

"MMM" is necessary Question: who will turn to whom: MMM to LJJ or vice versa?

Naturally, since LJZ is needed, she will apply. And who will dictate the terms to whom?

agreement? - That’s right, MMM will dictate, and LJ will scratch his head and think:

Will I overcome these conditions or not... But! But the fact is that LJJ have a natural

intelligence, and the dull MMMs are somewhat deprived of it. And so

savvy LJJ managed to secretly agree that from now on on MMM they

they look like they are annoying flies, that they don’t need anything at all from these MMMs -

and created a convincing appearance of this. And if MMM believes in this theater, then

the trick works: LJJ cheats these stupid MMMs and prospers at their expense,

* Accordingly, men run after women, and women don’t like them

turn heads and critically examine their proposals. And smart men against women

look and admire them.

Although, if you really think about it and answer not blindly following tradition, but according to

justice, then: Who should look after whom, with a view to creating a family?

Who should propose to whom? Who ultimately has the right

determine family orders (norms, forms, image and style of family life)?

Naturally, both discuss, but whose decision is decisive? Who should be ready

bear the brunt of family life?

The most interesting question for me here is different: where is the line?

separating the Man-who-knows-his-Strength from the Man who does not respect the Woman, from

Modern youth are in no hurry to become ringed or have children. In this article you will learn why a person needs a family. We will look at what goals women pursue when getting married. Let's find out why men have a wife and children.

Why start a family

Perhaps you are wondering why marriage is needed, why you can’t start a family without formalizing your relationship? The fact is that there will not be full awareness that you have become a unit of society, that it will not disintegrate over time. In addition, a man must understand that a child born into such a “family” is unlikely to take his last name. A woman will not be able to look into the future with confidence and, according to the law, she is nothing to her man. Let's look at the main reasons indicating the need to start your own family.

1. Only in a full-fledged family can one raise healthy children, both psychologically and physically.
2. The ability to divide all responsibilities in half, including financial expenses.
3. Family is a place where you can talk about your problems, worries, experiences, and get support.
4. Family makes you feel safe, gives you the opportunity to create and try something new. This is a place where a person is overwhelmed with emotions, love and pride.
5. The family teaches life, allows you to try on different roles and behavior patterns. People can re-educate by seeing their shortcomings.

The main thing for a woman is love, female happiness, family and children. What is important for a man is his business, money, offspring. Their unification is necessary. In order for a man to be more useful, to work fully, and to achieve success, he needs to feel the love of a woman who is always there. In childhood, this role is performed by the mother, and in adulthood, it passes to the wife. The appearance of a husband in a woman’s life allows her to direct her love, all her feelings towards this person.

Women's need

Let's look at why a woman needs a family.

1. Social status. Understanding that she fulfilled her destiny, became a wife.
2. Communication with friends is easier. A married woman is not seen as a rival.
3. Now I have someone to go visit with and celebrate all the holidays.
4. Having an assistant. A woman does not need to cope with hard work herself, carry bags, do repairs, and fix breakdowns. Now for this there is a man who can cope with these tasks.
5. A person has appeared for whom you need to strive to be beautiful and use your culinary skills. A woman is pleased when someone appreciates her merits.
6. The opportunity not to work if the husband agrees to support her.
7. The end of the man's search. You no longer need to waste time searching for a suitable gentleman, getting to know him, meeting and parting. Now your loved one is always nearby, with whom you can wake up every morning and spend all your free time.
8. Birth of children. Undoubtedly, you can become a mother without having a husband. But the child will fully grow up if both parents are present. In addition, lifting a baby together is much easier than raising a baby alone.
9. A person appears nearby to whom you can direct all your tenderness and love.
10. There is an opportunity for joint growth and common development. To achieve this, it is necessary that the couple be of approximately the same intellectual level, have common views on life, and aspirations for self-development.
11. Household amenities. Now you don’t need to rent a house yourself; all household expenses can be divided in half with your husband. And if a man earns well, he is able to shift all financial issues onto his shoulders.
12. When you are married, you can notice your shortcomings. A man will literally reflect in himself, at first glance, his vices, when, in fact, this is a mirror image of his wife. Thus, the woman sees her mistakes and has the opportunity to improve.
13. There is always support, support, a faithful defender nearby.

As a child, I dreamed of getting married for the sake of a wedding dress. Having grown up, I realized that the main purpose of a woman is to create a family and give birth to a child, to take care of her closest ones. I am very happy that my husband is next to me, a person who always supports me, shares victories and failures with me, and helps raise my child. Every day I feel his love, care, and repay him in the same coin. Next to him, I always strive for self-development in order to correspond to the status of my man.

Men's values

Does a man need a family? Family is a place where the closest and dearest people are, a place where you can relax and replenish lost energy. Of course, here we are talking about the correct home structure, about the presence of a favorable environment.

1. In the form of a wife, a man receives an adviser. She not only provides him with rest and care, but can also help in business matters.
2. The opportunity to continue the family line, to give descendants to whom you can pass on your body. Children need a mother to grow up normally.
3. A family is a place where a man can become the leader of his pack, take care of everything, be a breadwinner, and defend the interests of the family before other people.
4. This is an opportunity to create your own family capital, involve your wife and children in your business, and develop, for example, a hotel business.

Now you know why a family is needed. Each person must create his own unit of society. There must be a place where they can take care of a person, show sympathy, and provide support. It is very important for both women and men to become parents, continue their offspring, and raise children. Remember, without a full-fledged family, normal growing up of children is almost impossible. It should be noted that in our time it is very difficult for a single woman to rent a house on her own, raise a child, and pay for utilities.

Now, on the one hand, there is a systematic collapse of the family as a community of relatives, and on the other hand, there is obsessive propaganda of a lonely lifestyle for both men and women. Why a woman needs a family, I explained in detail in the book “The Unreal Man” - in those parts where I considered the biological differences between men and women, as well as the patriarchal family. Let's talk about why a man needs a family.

In no way am I trying to somehow reproach men who consciously choose loneliness for the sake of a career, their own goals, interests, etc. This is their conscious choice. The same applies to the stamp in the passport - for me, family and stamp are not the same thing, and every man, after weighing all the pros and cons, is free to choose whether to enter into an official marriage or not. Therefore, I will not talk about any official or ritual moments, but about the family as a community of related people: a man (husband), a woman (wife) and their common children. Also, I will not discuss here the difficulties of starting a family in our time:

Therefore, it is possible.

So, why does a man need a family?

1. First of all, the most obvious option. Family is a cave where a man can rest from the hardships of the outside world. In a normal family there is a favorable psychological environment that allows a man to relax and gain strength. A family is a place where a man is surrounded not by enemies, competitors, envious people and spiteful critics, but by relatives.

2. In the basic version, the woman creates a favorable psychological climate for the man, and in the favorable version, she becomes his comrade-in-arms. That is, it not only creates conditions for his relaxation, but also helps him in his affairs, be it business or something else. Here I highly recommend reading the article “Ranks and relationships between people” - the section that describes high-ranking relationships. A classic example is Henry Ford's wife. I understand that this example is very distant and therefore almost mythological. Therefore, especially for skeptics, I will say that this is possible now. You just need to not rush to the first lady who doesn’t refuse bed, but carefully choose your companion. The trouble is that now sometimes a car is chosen much more carefully than a wife.

3. A complete, strong family is the only normal way for a man to continue his family line, to raise children who will take over their father’s work in life. Surrogacy, which is already relatively real, all sorts of artificial wombs that scientists are announcing - this, of course, is all cool and modern, all these high technologies and ways to avoid the weaning of children in divorce court. But the trouble is that neither a single father nor a single mother will be able to raise their children to be full-fledged individuals, because an incomplete “family” is not a family at all, but just a type of orphanhood. Have you seen happy and harmoniously developing orphans somewhere? I'm not even talking about the fact that orphans raised by a single parent (most often a mother) have lost their normal family pattern. Having matured, an orphan is most often not able to create a normal, full-fledged family.

4. The family is the primary collective, where the ranking potential of a man is revealed, and the man becomes a leader, i.e. VR. During the patriarchal family, every man had to become a leader: to realize the qualities of a leader if he had them or to acquire them if he lacked them. The ability to lead a team, responsibility, the ability to control the family budget, independence in decision-making, the ability to defend one’s own interests and the interests of the family before strangers, the ability to be the owner of property (a strong business executive) and much, much more. Even if the guy was not a landowner, military leader, merchant or any other public leader, he still became a leader - the leader of his family.

They constantly write to me in private messages with the same question: how to become a high-ranking man? Here is one answer - 200 years ago (not to mention earlier times) it would have become the most obvious.

5. Family as a business project. A man invests energy, time, money, and emotions into a project called “family,” forming a common family business, family capital (real capital, not the one on paper - maternal capital), involving his wife and children in this common cause. Thus, at all times, commercial, industrial and aristocratic dynasties were created, where children continued the father’s work, and the wife played the role of his assistant. The head of the family, accordingly, receives dividends from this in the form of well-established, respected children, as well as the opportunity to live a comfortable and prosperous old age. An example is the same Ford family. The Ford couple lived in wealth, and the children continued their father's work.

This alone is enough to seriously consider family as a worthy and necessary part of a man’s life.

PS. I inserted this picture for a reason. The family walks through a “wild” area “infested with danger.” Ahead is a boy, the future leader. He learns to lead, accustoms himself to responsibility, attentiveness and other qualities of a leader. Behind him are women. And the “column” is closed by the most experienced man, the head of the family, who entrusted the young guy with the role of leader for training purposes, but he himself looks after him and his team, his family.