Quarrel with parents what to do. How to stop parental quarrels. “We’ll talk about this later” - an argument in a conversation with mom

How to stop arguing with your parents

It is very easy to cause a quarrel, and often quarrels arise over trifles. This also applies to quarrels with parents. But remember: a serious quarrel only begins over nonsense, but ends in scandals and long-term grievances. How to make sure that there are as few quarrels and insults in your family as possible?

Step 1. "Let's never quarrel..."

Surely you are familiar with the situation: you are at home. Mom returned from work upset and irritated: a crowd in the subway, queues, slush, a heavy bag of shopping. So she enters the room, sees that there is a mess everywhere, your things and toys are scattered, she goes into the kitchen, and there is a pile of unwashed dishes.

Mom: “Again, you scattered everything and didn’t wash the dishes after yourself? This is just terrible!”

You: "Why are you yelling at me again?"

Mom: “Because you’re a slob, I’m tired of cleaning up after you all the time!”

You slam the door offendedly and go into the room. Silence reigns. Actually, at that moment the quarrel could have been stopped: Enter the kitchen, hug mom, kiss her, apologize and clean up what was needed. But no: you are seething with indignation, so is your mother, and the quarrel continues.

Mom: “It will never even occur to you to help me. You don’t care about anything! Selfish!”

You: “Why are you always nagging me? I’m always bad with you, I always bother you, I do everything wrong. I might just leave...”

Then you and your mother proceed to mutual reproaches, reminding each other of all the unpleasant little things that have accumulated lately. “You come home late, your studies have gotten worse - you get a bad mark in English again. And you’ve already managed to stain your jeans!” - Mom is indignant.

You won’t be in debt either: after all, your mother didn’t even notice that you got an A in math for the test and put things in order on your desk - all she does is constantly scold you. But you were waiting for your mother, you wanted to talk to her, keep secrets, but instead this is what happened.

Sounds familiar? If you find out how it all started, you will inevitably come to the conclusion that it was mom’s fault - she started it first. And she probably thinks it's you. But there is no need to look for right and wrong here - the quarrel needs to end, and you must take the first step towards reconciliation.

Step 2. Why parents can be harmful

You've probably heard more than once how your classmates complain about their parents being too strict and harmful. Or maybe you yourself have thought this way more than once about your mom and dad? Why are parents too strict: they force you to do this, forbid that...

Before you complain about your bitter fate and get angry at mom and dad because they didn’t buy you a new toy or thing, or didn’t let you go for a walk, or forbade you to eat ice cream, or... you never know the reasons - the main thing is you are filled with resentment and frustration, think: maybe they are right after all, insisting on their own? Just imagine for a minute what would happen if, say, a “kind” mother allowed you to eat ice cream on the street in winter - as much as you can, or agreed to go to the cinema with you, knowing that tomorrow you have a difficult test in mathematics, and Haven't you started preparing for it yet? A sore throat and a bad grade for unsolved problems would be guaranteed for you. So think about it, was mom so wrong and is it worth being angry with her?

Instead of roaring and stomping your feet, try to always understand why mom or dad are being “harmful”? Or you can directly ask them why you are told or, conversely, forbidden to do something - your parents will probably explain the reason to you in detail.

Maybe, for some reason, at the moment they simply cannot fulfill your request (for example, to give you an expensive toy or a new thing) and then nothing can be done. In this case, understand that crying and screaming is pointless - you will only upset your parents, because they themselves are not happy that they do not have the opportunity to fulfill your request. It is better in this situation to behave prudently and show understanding - mom and dad will be grateful to you and will make sure that you are not a capricious baby, but an adult, and as soon as the opportunity arises, they will definitely try to fulfill your desire.

Often parents have to be excessively strict because they want to protect you from unnecessary problems and troubles, and when they insist on their own, they are almost always right.

Step 3. Difficult cases

It’s wonderful when everyone in the family lives in harmony, never quarrels (or they do it very rarely), and you always feel nothing but pride in your mom or dad. But such an idyll, unfortunately, is rare. What makes some children feel awkward or annoyed with their parents and is it possible to somehow improve the situation? Let's look at a few examples of such situations.

Situation 1: "Cinderella".

It’s no secret that the kids in your class live differently: some have parents who earn very well and, accordingly, dress fashionably, pick up their daughter or son at school by car, and buy them expensive toys. And some people live more modestly. And those boys and girls whose mothers and fathers cannot often buy expensive new things and do not look so beautiful begin to feel embarrassed about their parents.

What should I do? Of course, it’s a shame when your classmates show off in new dresses and suits almost every day, and you have to wear out your old clothes, and the parents who see you off and meet you from school don’t dress better than you. But this does not mean at all that you are worse than your wealthier peers or that your mom and dad love you less, it’s just that life has turned out that way that they cannot give you everything you want.

If you are familiar with this situation, know that although you may not be able to change it yet, you can do something so as not to feel awkward in front of your classmates. For example, ask your mom to buy you one beautiful dress instead of several simple ones. Of course, you will have to wear the same thing all the time, but you will like these clothes, and you will not be embarrassed by your appearance, and at the same time, by your parents.

Situation 2: “Offended and unhappy.”

Or maybe you feel embarrassed for your parents because of their behavior? Needless to say, it’s not very pleasant when parents, for example, argue with each other on the street or loudly scold you in the presence of your classmates.

What should I do? This behavior of parents, of course, does not add pride to them. But how to behave in this case? First of all, understand that you will never be able to change your mom or dad, so try to accept them as they are, with all their shortcomings and advantages. When you again feel that your parents are simply unbearable and your life is miserable, remember some pleasant moments associated with them. For example, how you all once went to an amusement park together and then ate ice cream in a cafe. Mom and Dad were cheerful, joked and laughed, and you felt like the happiest person in the world. Or how one day you were very upset, and your mother took pity and consoled you. You never know how many such memories you can accumulate!

And even if you had a huge fight with your parents or were undeservedly punished, you don’t need to tell the whole world about it. In general, you shouldn’t speak badly about your parents. You and your mom and dad will definitely make peace someday, but your friends will have the impression that you formed with your story.

Know that even the most severe and strict parents adore their children at heart, it’s just that some do not show it, for fear of spoiling their son or daughter: they believe that strictness in upbringing is more necessary and useful.

Situation 3: "Poor rich girl."

It’s also possible: your parents work hard and earn good money, so they don’t deny you anything: they buy fashionable clothes, toys, and your classmates envy you. Only you don’t feel happy because of this: your parents always return home late, and also tired, and very rarely they have the time and energy to play with you, go for a walk or help with your homework. You have already forgotten the last time you and your whole family went to the cinema or walked in the park. Often mom and dad are irritated, and you get the hot hand - you are scolded for literally nothing. And you begin to think that your parents don’t care about you at all, they only care that you are fed and clothed, and they don’t care one bit about what’s in your soul. But this is not true at all.

What should I do? Of course, it is important for your parents that, if possible, you do not need anything. But in our time, many children are deprived of this. Your mom and dad disappear all day at work not because they don’t want to relax or play with you, but because they need to provide for both you and themselves. Believe me, it's not easy at all. Therefore, do not rush to conclusions about the indifference and heartlessness of your parents, but sympathize with them!

Take the first step forward: offer to help your mother with household chores - without a doubt, she will happily agree, and a conversation will begin over common concerns. Of course, if you pester tired parents with questions asked just like that - just to say something, it will irritate them. It's better to start a conversation about what really interests you.

If you think that your parents spend too little time with you, try to talk to them about it, maybe together you will find a way out, figure out how to spend more time together.

Step 4: Be kinder

Have you noticed how well the guys behave with strangers? They speak politely, smile and are not rude. If a random passer-by makes any request - for example, asks how to get to a school or some store - they readily explain it and will not ignore the old woman’s request to move him across the road. But at home, events unfold according to a completely different scenario. When her own grandmother asks her beloved granddaughter or grandson to go to the pharmacy or buy bread, she or he opens her mouth and... the grandmother begins to regret that she turned to her loved one with a request. So, it shouldn't be like this!

Try to show concern for your parents more often, and offer your help if possible. And don’t be offended if you see that mom or dad are not in the mood to play with you or are too irritated: maybe they are very tired at work or have some problems.

Some guys prefer not to notice the worries and problems of other family members, because for them nothing is more important than their own interests. And such girls and boys grow up to be selfish, incapable of loving anyone and empathizing even with their loved ones. Such people sooner or later end up alone, because no one wants to communicate with a person who is not used to taking anyone into account and values only his own well-being.

It’s not difficult to show small signs of attention, but the benefits of them can hardly be overestimated. After all, how you treat people is how they will treat you.

What should you compliment your mom if you see that she has done a beautiful hairstyle or bought herself a new coat? And mom will be in a great mood all day, and she won’t want to yell at you about the same unwashed dishes.

Is your grandmother a great cook? Talk to her about this more often: tell her that the pies she bakes are the most delicious in the world (because it really is!). And grandma will try to bake them as often as possible to please you.

And tell your dad how proud you are of him and how lucky you are to have such a wonderful father. Touched dad probably won’t resist your request to take you to the cinema this weekend and won’t scold you too much for failing in English.

Of course, your parents would love you even if you were the most obnoxious child in the world. But is it worth turning the lives of loved ones into a nightmare, testing their love to the limit?

Step 5. Funny baby or obnoxious baby?

If you are used to being the only and adored child in the family, but suddenly at one fine moment a small, screaming bundle appears in the house, and the entire familiar way of life in the house changes, you feel, to put it mildly, out of place. Now all attention is focused on the baby, and you, once loved to the point of adoration, are perceived as nothing more than a nuisance that is always getting under your feet. “Don’t move around here, you’ll drop the horn”, “don’t touch the crib - you’ll knock it over”, “don’t make noise, don’t you see - your little sister (brother) just fell asleep” - that’s all you hear from the parents. And so you, even if you were happy that you would have a younger sister or brother, now you gradually begin to quietly hate this baby - after all, he took away the attention and love of your parents!

Stop. Wait to blame a baby who has done nothing wrong to you for all mortal sins. Let's figure out what exactly unsettles you and makes you angry at your parents and at the whole world at the same time - because there is such injustice in it as the appearance of younger sisters and brothers. Are you offended that your parents began to pay less attention to you? But it’s natural if a small helpless creature appears in the house! And there’s no one to be offended by, and there’s no reason to. After all, your brother (or sister) is now so small that he is simply not able to take care of himself, and who will take care of him if not your parents? And since mom and dad exist in a single copy, they cannot do several things at the same time. Do not doubt that your mother would really like to go with you to the park, to the circus or to the theater - this is much more interesting than washing diapers at home and warming bottles, but someone should take care of diapers and bottles? And who will do this if not mom?

Sympathize with your mother - it’s so difficult for her now! Of course, she is very tired - both from sleepless nights and from daytime troubles and worries - and she does not always have free time or energy to play with you. And if she is often irritated, it is not because she no longer loves you, but simply because she is very tired. Remember that for parents their child is the most precious treasure, and they will never stop loving you! Even if such thoughts never enter your head.

Be patient a little, soon your sister or brother will grow up, and you will all go for walks, to the circus, to rides - in general, everything will work out. In the meantime, don’t puff offendedly in the corner and don’t get angry, it’s better to come up and offer your mom help. By the way, here is a wonderful chance for you to prove to your parents that you are already a completely independent and adult person and can be relied on, and thanks to your help, your mother will have more free time to communicate or play with you, and common worries and troubles will bring you even closer together . If you don’t want to understand anything, you get offended and are capricious, you are rude to your parents as a sign of protest, or you try to offend your child, then don’t be surprised that your parents will punish and scold you - but how would you behave in their place?

The appearance of a younger brother (or sister) is not a disaster, but on the contrary, it is very cool! After all, very soon you will be able to play with him, tell him your favorite fairy tales, teach him how to assemble a pyramid, tie his shoelaces, button his jacket... For him, you are the eldest, which means you are the smartest, the strongest, the bravest - in general, the very best. After all, he is still very, very small and so needs love and care, including yours!

6. Big worries for a little man

Know that your little sister (or brother) has her own special world and her own very important problems. Don’t laugh if your child tells you that yesterday he saw a green cat with orange speckles playing a drum - it’s better to tell him that you yourself once saw a yellow crow writing poetry.

The kid considers you strong, he believes that you can do everything and know everything. Don't get annoyed or brush him off if he approaches you with a question or request. He wants to know everything, immediately, and simply cannot exist further if he does not find out why snow falls from top to bottom, and not vice versa, and why cats don’t fly. And if a train rolls under the sofa, then this is nothing less than a world problem that requires immediate resolution.

If you are absolutely not in the mood to talk at the moment, do not yell at the restless baby, it is better to calmly say that you are very tired now and want to rest a little, but then you will have to

Mom is the dearest and closest person; we expect warmth and support from her. But it happens that the older children become, the more often conflicts and misunderstandings arise with their mother. You feel that she is wrong, that she is not self-possessed, that she is rude to you, and you don’t know what to do. To stand for your rights? Keep quiet? Stop communicating? Give in? Before answering the question of how not to quarrel with your mother, you should understand the causes of conflicts.

Why is mom swearing?

Since the situations and characters of people are different, the reasons for quarrels are individual, and it is impossible to analyze each case. However, there are a number of common factors that give rise to conflicts between a mother and an adult daughter.

1. No matter how old you are - 6, 16 or 36, you always remain a child for your mother. And maternal instinct requires you to teach and protect, and if the child does not obey, then punish. Your independence and independence are annoying, because your mother believes that she is older and has a better understanding of life.

2. Misunderstanding and rejection of the lifestyle, habits, and values of the younger generation is one of the most common causes of quarrels. To parents, their children’s activities often seem frivolous (“Why hang around the computer, go wash the dishes!”), their clothes and makeup seem vulgar, and their behavior provocative. This is not the fault of the parents; they grew up at a different time.

3. Fear, concern for your daughter. The mother is always worried and worried about her children, trying to protect them from troubles, but as they grow up, they get out of her control. This is annoying and often makes you want to keep them by force.

4. Need for warmth and attention. Mom may think that you are not paying attention to her and are moving away from her more and more. This, against the backdrop of approaching old age, cannot but offend. And resentment often manifests itself in aggression and scandals.

5. The reason may be in you - in your coldness (you have enough problems without it) and in the lack of desire to listen.

These are objective reasons, they are not personal in nature and will always affect your relationship with your mother. Therefore, you need to treat them with understanding and not assume that only you encounter them.

How to stop arguing with your mom

Constant conflicts between mother and daughter are difficult for both, and both sides are to blame for them. This must be recognized in order to improve your relationship with your mother. And it’s not that difficult to do.

1. To understand means to forgive. Understanding your mother’s behavior and empathizing with her will help you overcome your resentment and not react with rudeness in quarrels.

2. Separate yourself from her, stop perceiving yourself as part of your mother and her life. (Such separation in psychology is called separation.) You are independent individuals, and your parent’s bad mood often has nothing to do with you.

3. Talk to your mother, but do not make any complaints - this will lead to a new quarrel. Talk about your desire to communicate with her, about your need for her participation and care, you can talk about your problems, ask for advice.

4. Find common ground, common interests. For example, offer to watch a movie you like, read your mother’s favorite book and discuss it, rejoice at your parent’s success in needlework and brag about your achievements.

And remember, the older mothers get, the more they want the love and attention of their daughters, and the more and more often they are offended by the coldness and detachment of their children. Be a friend to your mother, and the source of quarrels will disappear.

Even if on throughout of all past stages of growing up, there were no significant conflicts or relationship problems between the child and the parent; they are almost guaranteed to appear in high school. Nature itself puts parent and child in conflict, and this, as always, is not meaningless. Parents become the first rivals for an incoming young man, whose power he has to fight, proving his independence and self-sufficiency. Through this rebellion, a young man and a girl become an adult man and woman.

However, the fact that this process cannot be avoided does not mean that it should be as painful as possible. After all, constant quarrels and conflicts lead to significant damage to the nerves, tears and hysterics, and complete emotional exhaustion. This can be completely avoided if you do not go with the flow (in our case, with emotions), but follow cold reason and adhere to a certain strategy of behavior in relations with parents.

Usually, main opponent In this struggle, the mother becomes the teenager. Fathers let their children off a short leash more easily, and even rejoice in their growing up. For them, this stage has a certain symbolic image of the completion of many years of work in raising a child, and now he is already an adult, independent, no longer a child at all. But the mother has an internal conflict, and understanding its essence is very important for successfully overcoming a difficult period.

Why does mom become an enemy?

Mother she’s used to being a mentor, she’s used to being a person whom the child obeys, even if not always unquestioningly, but in the end she always achieves what she wants, if necessary, then by force. And now she sees how power is slipping from her hands, the child is leaving from under her wing, and this inevitable separation hurts her. Without fully realizing her own internal problems, she begins to put pressure on her with authority more and more, which leads to heightened passions.

Mom's Parental Blackmail Policy

In this case, as a rule, mother doomed to defeat in this battle. After all, although parents are indeed our first opponents in life’s struggle for freedom and independence, they are the weakest “enemies” that we will meet in life, because they really cannot do anything to their children, because they love them. Every teenager should remember this, especially in moments when you want to “bite” your own mother more painfully, who treated us so unfairly, was so merciless to us and so cruel. But in such cases, you must always remember that this is a fight against an unarmed person.

Having lost the battle for authority, Mother turns to blackmail tactics. She begins to cry and get sick. After another quarrel, when you both lash out at each other, she will lie down on the sofa, cover herself with a blanket and stare blankly at one point. This is what you brought (brought) your mother to! A couple more scandals like this due to lack of obedience, and you will completely drive your beloved parent to the grave!

All this may sound enough funny, but in real life it can significantly spoil the blood of the whole family. And the only way to avoid this for a teenager is to take a position of rational dialogue, and not give in to emotions.

Calm, only calm when communicating with mom!

Advice from the Wise Carlson, living on the roof, fits this life situation perfectly. At the level of emotions, it is simply impossible to resolve the conflict; at this level, you can only throw out what has accumulated in yourself. But in this case, as a rule, nothing comes of this everyday exorcism, and instead of the expected catharsis, the problems only grow, since the main conflict - the struggle for power/independence - remains unresolved.

Real winner It will be the one who first takes the position of calm dialogue. “I want to talk calmly. I don’t want to scream again, I’m tired of this. Let’s talk like adults” - such a proposal is difficult to reject when you are an adult, and it is voiced by the one when you refuse maturity. It makes you think, and sometimes even ashamed. A teenager should set himself the goal of first pulling each conflict out of the meaningless pit of emotional cries and mutual insults; this is the only way a meaningful dialogue is possible.

“We’ll talk about this later” - an argument in a conversation with mom

Not always will succeed talk calmly if the mother is already at the limit and is ready to break into. The best option in this case is to ask for a deferment. “There’s no point in arguing now, we’ll just quarrel. Let’s decide everything in the evening, I promise, we’ll talk.” There is a high probability that by the evening the quarrel will be completely forgotten if it broke out over some trifle. However, if this “trifle” is repeated over and over again regularly, you need to find the strength to go through an unpleasant conversation and resolve the situation.

Sometimes you can notice that quarrels occur at the same time every day. For example, at breakfast, or when the mother returns from work. Just as a chain breaks at its weakest link, so conflicts occur at moments of emotional stress. In this case, you can agree not to quarrel precisely during these periods, and on the basis of the agreement reached, refuse to enter into a discussion and demand that the dispute be postponed to another time.

The main thing is the desire to stop quarreling with your mother!

Majority teenagers, like parents, do not analyze such situations seriously, do not ask questions about how to avoid these conflicts in the future, how to stop constant quarrels. It seems to both parents and children that this nightmare that has taken over their family is exclusively their problem, purely individual and unique. They do not suspect that if they just want to put an end to the constant string of quarrels and insults, and put some effort into this, all this can be stopped.

AND last thing: Do not forget that all these conflicts and quarrels are temporary. Several years will pass, and you will remember this completely calmly. Remind yourself of this every time you find yourself involved in an argument. This will help you calm down and influence your parent in the right way.

Do you hate listening to your parents argue and don't know what to do when they start fighting? Do you want to know how to stop your parents' quarrels? Unfortunately, there is no universal method, that is, there is no guarantee that you will be able to stop parental quarrels. However, you can convey to your parents how you feel during their arguments to encourage them to stop any conflicts. If you're sad, scared, anxious, or angry about parenting conflicts, this article will tell you how to accept your emotions and come up with a plan to cope with this difficult situation.

Steps

Part 1

Talk to your parents about their arguments

Decide if you want to talk to your parents about their conflicts. In most cases, talking to your parents about how their arguments upset you will help you achieve success. It's possible that your parents don't think you're aware of their conflicts or aren't aware of how upset you get.

Parents may think their arguments are not a big deal and don't think about it from your perspective.

Choose the right time to talk to your parents. No matter how much you want to stop the quarrel, during the conflict, stay away from your parents.

Tell your parents how you feel about their arguments. If you explain to your parents how their conflicts affect you, it will be very good. To increase the chances of a positive outcome, prepare for the conversation in advance. Start by explaining what parental arguments look like from your perspective.
- For example, start a conversation like this: “Mom and Dad, it seems to me that you have been arguing a lot lately, especially in the mornings when we all get ready.”
Tell your parents what you think. If you want your parents to see their conflicts from your point of view, tell them what you think about the situation, even if you don't fully understand it.
- For example, continue the conversation like this: “I’m not entirely sure why you two have been arguing so much lately. Maybe because you work a lot or have to drive me to school early in the morning so I won’t be late for rehearsal.”
Tell us about your feelings. Tell your parents honestly how you feel when they fight, and maybe your parents will hear you and change their behavior.
- For example, continue the conversation like this: “Anyway, I get stressed when you fight. It seems to me that you are fighting because of me, and I am afraid that you will get a divorce.”
Tell your parents what you want. Naturally, most of all you want your parents to stop conflicting altogether, but this is not entirely realistic.
- But you can ask your parents not to interfere with you in their conflicts or quarrel when you are not at home.
Write down what you want to say. If you are nervous and can't remember what you want to say to your parents, or if you are worried that your speech will be extremely emotional, write down on paper what you want to say to your parents.
- Make sure your speech will include everything discussed above (your thoughts, feelings, requests, etc.), and then practice your speech.
Instead of talking to your parents, write them a letter. It's best to talk to your parents face to face, of course, but if you're too worried, write them a letter. This will give parents time to think about what you have written and then discuss it with you.
- Even if you are writing a letter to your parents, include in it everything that was mentioned above (your thoughts, feelings, requests, etc.).
Listen to your parents' explanations. Most likely, your parents will talk to you about their quarrels and explain to you the reasons for the conflicts. In this case, listen carefully to them and do not interrupt.
- With any luck, you and your parents will come up with a plan to deal with stress, resolve differences, and stop fighting.
Talk to someone you trust about your parents' fights. If you're not sure whether you should talk to your parents, or if you don't know what you'll tell them, or if you've already talked to your parents but nothing has changed, find a trusted adult and talk to them.

Be prepared for family therapy. It is quite possible that your parents will turn to a family psychologist. They may come to this decision after talking with you; If they don't understand that their quarrels are getting out of control, suggest they see a psychologist.
- You might not like this idea, especially if you're a private or shy person (or you think it's a boring pastime).
- But remember that this is a good sign! If your parents invite you to go with them to a family psychologist, this means that they care about preserving the family.
Part 2
Understand your actions during parenting conflicts
1. Don't eavesdrop when your parents are arguing. Since you do not know the reasons for parental conflicts, you may interpret the parents' arguments completely incorrectly, so it is better not to overhear what they are arguing about.
  - Eavesdropping will make you more upset, while your parents can make peace quickly.
2. Find a quieter place. If possible, go somewhere where you can relax and won't hear your parents arguing.
  
  Try to find a way to be out of the conflict situation. Perhaps you can't go to your room or go outside when your parents are arguing.
  - For example, many parents get stressed and start arguing when they are driving for a long time. In this case, try to find a way to be alone.
  - For example, put on headphones and listen to upbeat music or focus on a magazine or book.
3. Find out how. If you feel unsafe during a parenting argument, or if your parents threaten physical violence against each other, or if someone gets hurt, get to a safe place and call emergency services.
  - You may worry that your parents will be mad at you for calling the police, but remember that it's better to be safe than sorry and that it's not your fault that you called the police (the fault lies entirely with your parents – with their actions they put you in a hopeless situation).
Part 3
Learn about family quarrels
1. Remember that parental conflict is normal. Maybe your parents started yelling at each other in the next room or haven't spoken to each other for days. Either way, they're really angry at each other and you're stressed.
2. Understand the causes of parental conflicts. Even though your parents are older and wiser, they are still human. Anyone gets tired, suffers from stress and has bad days; It's entirely possible that your parents are fighting for one of these reasons.
  - Most likely, your parents’ health will improve in the near future and they will reconcile.
3. Understand that it is not necessarily a bad thing when you are aware of the fights between your parents. Experts in the field of family relationships recommend that parents do not swear in front of their children (you do not need to know all the details of adult life and worries). However, it is good for children to know that sometimes their parents have disagreements.
  - Your parents have a responsibility to teach you that disagreements between people cannot be avoided, even between people who love each other; parents should also tell you how to deal with disagreements. If your parents hide their differences from you, you won't learn how to deal with similar situations when you start your own family.
  - Parents should explain to you that they are not angry with each other after their reconciliation. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to understand whether the conflict between the parents has been resolved or not; If the situation develops this way, just ask them about it.

A bad compromise is better than a good lawsuit.

How often have you freaked out or screamed, cried or tried to lock yourself in the room because of a quarrel with your mother? I think each of us has been in this situation and will be more than once.

I note that parents and everyone conflict, regardless of age! Whether you are 12 or 25, the problem of conflicts is practically impossible to solve while you live with your parents. There will always be reasons like unwashed dishes, bad mood and a thousand other things that will cause anger in one of the adults.

Today we will try to find out the reasons for quarrels with mom, as well as ways to solve them. Perhaps these tips will help some of you, my readers, to save the fragile world :).

Why do quarrels happen?

This usually occurs due to a misunderstanding of the situation. The child does not understand why something was forbidden to him, and the parents cannot convincingly convey to him the reasons for the ban. Unconsciously, parents try to show power, and all teenagers try to “overthrow” this very power :). So it turns out that lack of understanding of each other’s problems becomes a decisive factor in quarrels and scandals.

It is worth noting that quarrels with parents are an integral part of almost any society. Regardless of cultural heritage, level of upbringing or religious beliefs, everyone comes into conflict with their parents out of a desire to assert their right to make a choice.

Let's consider several main reasons for quarrels with parents, and in particular with mom:

The question of content often arises. “You live in my house and must live by my rules” - almost every person hears this phrase in their life from their parents. Very often, parents cannot come to terms with the fact that their child has grown up and they need to learn to rebuild their life and outlook on many things. This may concern the style of clothing, music or outlook on life.
Many teenagers claim to be adults. That they can come home later or know what to do in a given situation. This is a child's problem! If you consider yourself an adult, then behave like an adult - earn money, make decisions, be responsible for them.
The money issue always remains relevant. Perhaps your parents reproach you for being too fond of spending money?
Many conflicts arise due to parents’ demands to help them around the house and perform a number of mandatory household chores.
A child's poor academic performance can also cause many quarrels.
And the last cornerstone in many families is the teenager’s excessive isolation, his reluctance to tell his parents anything.

How to solve each of these situations?

If your parents often condemn you for being secretive, then I think they can be understood 100%. They are people close to you and they want to know what is going on in their child’s life. In addition, they are responsible for you and worry about your safety. They should know your circle of friends, the places you visit, the people you have relationships with. Try to ensure that they have contact numbers of your close circle of friends. This way they will feel in the “topic”.
If your parents start to annoy you or you often quarrel, then one day just go into your room and look around. Phone, laptop or computer (and many also have e-readers and tablets), clothes, vacations, furniture - all this was bought for you by your parents. And keep this in mind. They don't have to cater to your every whim.
When you feel like everyone is fed up with you, go to a boarding school for orphans or become a volunteer in any other place where everyone grows up without parental love and care.
Learn to avoid conflicts by fulfilling your parents' requests.
Get used to communicating with your parents without shouting, threats, scandals and snorting. Just try to speak in a calm and reasonable tone.
Always keep your promises. Wash the dishes, call back, clean the apartment or buy bread – it’s actually not that difficult!
Don’t think that parents are stupid and don’t understand anything. At your age, your mother also went on dates, ask your grandmother about it :).

Don't forget to read the article "