Psychology of relationships with a married man: what it’s like to be a mistress. What to do when a married man loves his mistress? Husband and married lover
What pushes girls and women to become the mistress of a married man? Love, sober calculation or hopelessness of loneliness? Each woman has her own motivation that encourages her to take such a step, and therefore her own psychology.
Based on practice, psychologists claim that most mistresses are divided into three main categories: women who fell in love with a married man, women who decided to have a relationship with a married man out of loneliness, women who, for one reason or another, deliberately created a love triangle.
Love is evil, you will love a married man
I saw him and fell in love at first sight, as it turned out, with a married man. I believed that he reciprocated. Previously, she herself condemned such women, but she cannot control herself; attracted to him, despite all the prohibitions. For the first few months, a loving woman enjoys her love without thinking about the future and the current situation. Over time, she begins to be depressed by the fact that the man is trying to hide his relationship with her from colleagues, friends and acquaintances; experiences humiliation when he has to hide so that his wife does not find out about her husband’s infidelity. She is offended that due to his family circumstances she has to cancel long-awaited meetings. The whole life of such a mistress begins to develop into endless hours of waiting, which drives her to despair.
A loving mistress is constantly tormented by doubts and tormented by conscience, which creates evil for his family and children. At the same time, she never ceases to hope that the man will leave his wife. At times, the degree of anticipation reaches a critical point. She begins to torment herself and the man with questions about when he will divorce and they will get married. Sometimes a mistress tries to seek a meeting with her beloved’s wife in order to ask her to let her husband go.
Usually a man does not approve of this behavior. Having received a charge of love adrenaline, he goes to his family with his children and his legal wife, and frequent reproaches and quarrels inevitably lead to a breakup.
Lover from loneliness
There are many reasons for a single girl to become the mistress of a married man. Years go by, there is no end in sight to the monotonous workday, and my personal life does not work out. All her friends have been married for a long time, and she has no one to while away her lonely evenings with. I would like to have a reliable man’s shoulder and gentle hands nearby that can warm and comfort me. Over the years, the need to feel the joy of intimacy with a man becomes more acute.
Usually, there are not many single men in the “field of vision” of single girls. Therefore, she believes that she should not miss the chance if a married man has noticed her. We must be comforted by what we have. At first, the mistress is satisfied with his attention: gifts, flowers and romantic dates. Over time, rare meetings become not enough, and spending weekends and holidays alone is very difficult and offensive. She begins to be jealous of her lover’s wife, reproaching and accusing him of not being in a hurry to commit a life together with her. She really wants to get married and have a normal family. The fear of impending loneliness settles in her mind. The consequence of this is apathy, depression, and a drop in self-esteem. After all, the promises that a lover makes are usually not kept.
A divorced woman has a slightly different psychology. After an unsuccessful marriage, she wants to feel loved and desired again, to find an incentive to live: to be successful and attractive. In addition, she is driven by the desire to take revenge on her ex-husband and prove to him that she is successful with men. Let him know what treasure he has lost. A divorced woman understands that it is unrealistic to make plans for the future with a married lover. She is happy with this kind of relationship. She will not reproach her lover for rushing away from her to his family, but will try to prolong the relationship as long as possible. But if suddenly her relationship with a married admirer develops into love, it brings suffering and becomes dangerous for the woman’s psyche.
Lover of convenience
A woman who becomes an arranged lover proudly calls herself a bitch. This is her image and lifestyle. Such behavior adds adrenaline to life, making it more eventful and interesting. Such a woman is more busy with her career and does not plan to get married and have children in the foreseeable future. But she does not refuse love passion for the opposite sex. On the contrary, considering herself a real predator, she chooses a man as her victim and achieves him by any means. She usually doesn’t care that a man has a family and small children. Often their bosses come under the gun of such a woman.
Knowing that the boss’s wife is busy all day raising children and pays less attention to her husband, she outlines an action plan to brighten up his monotonous life. And she often succeeds. The boss falls into the “extended net” of his subordinate and she becomes his mistress. Having achieved her goal, such a woman appreciates her position. She fills her partner’s life with the manifestation of passionate feelings and enjoys it herself. The mistress does not compromise the man; on the contrary, she tries to prevent her colleagues and family from guessing about their closeness. She knows that their relationship may end sooner or later and does not demand anything from her partner.
A mistress of convenience does not descend into hysterics, she is always polite, restrained in her judgment and self-confident. She always tries to be well-groomed, beautiful, and stylishly dressed. Such a mistress is sure that she is more beautiful and smarter than his wife, but will never say anything bad about her to her partner; doesn’t ask him for anything, but takes all his presents for granted. When she sees that a man’s feelings are cooling, she herself may suggest ending the relationship.
At a young age, almost all girls dream of marriage with an ideal, loving and beloved man. However, having matured, we understand that life circumstances make adjustments to our plans and dreams, and it is possible that this long-awaited and only person is already legally married. Whether to agree to the role of a married man’s mistress or not is everyone’s personal choice. However, when building your romance with a non-free person, it is important to understand that these relationships are a little different from those that our imagination depicts. To understand what men are looking for in an affair, psychologists conducted a massive survey and identified 10 signs of the ideal mistress of a married man.
So, let's try to understand who she is - the ideal lover according to men?
1. She looks good
Many men begin to cheat on their wives due to dissatisfaction with their appearance. This is not surprising, because, unfortunately, women age earlier than men. However, men want to see a living embodiment of their dreams in their mistresses. Regardless of natural appearance, a mistress should always look well-groomed, stylish and attractive.
2. She should be funny
Over the years of family life, spouses plunge headlong into everyday life, raising children and caring for material well-being, while losing that aura of romance, lightness and fun that connected them at the beginning of the relationship. It is the lack of this link that often becomes the reason why men decide to have a relationship with their mistress. Accordingly, in their chosen one they want to see not a woman tired of life, but a light muse, in whose arms they can forget about everyday worries.
3. She treats him like a hero.
Rarely do spouses manage to live their lives without quarrels, conflicts and reproaches towards each other. Having lived together for several years, the wife, like no one else, knows all the weaknesses and shortcomings of her husband, while in the eyes of his mistress, the man becomes a hero and an ideal partner. It is this attitude, filled with romance, admiration and respect, that keeps married men near their mistresses.
4. She is self-sufficient and confident
According to men, the ideal lover is a woman who loves and respects herself. In addition to her relationship with an unfree person, she has her own life, filled with various events, achievements and adventures. She does not put romance above all else, devoting a lot of time to her development and her hobbies.
5. She doesn’t reproach or cause scandals.
In relationships on the side, men are looking for a holiday, lightness and an opportunity to take a break from everyday worries. To maintain such a romance, you should not make any demands on your partner. And even more so, there is no need to reproach him for lack of attention, since these reproaches will make him feel guilty, and very soon the man will get tired of being torn between his family and his mistress.
6. She doesn't claim his freedom.
When starting a relationship with a married man, a woman must initially understand that she cannot lay claim to his entire life. This man has a family and the daily responsibilities associated with it, but when he meets his mistress, he wants to forget about them. Therefore, any questions related to his family life, as well as plans for the future, will cause him unpleasant emotions.
7. She doesn't pretend to have a future together.
Perhaps, in reality, everything is somewhat different and the mistress secretly hopes that sooner or later her partner will divorce his unloved wife and stay with her, but such thoughts should under no circumstances be demonstrated to a married man. A good lover should conduct a conversation without touching on plans for the future, and also avoid talking about his family life.
8. She doesn't die for love
Of course, every man dreams of becoming the object of fiery and sincere love. However, young ladies who are too much in love, ready to do anything for the sake of their loved one, are hardly suitable for the role of mistresses. The fact is that excessive love on the part of the mistress will place a burden of responsibility on the man, which he probably will not want to bear. Relationships of this format should be built on common sense. It is very good when both partners understand that their romance is based on mutual sympathy in the present, and its development in the future is not a mandatory goal.
9. She is outspoken and unpredictable
Another common reason why men have mistresses is dissatisfaction in bed. Not all women are ready to experiment and bring their deepest fantasies into reality. However, excessive modesty is excusable for a wife, but not for a mistress. The lady of the heart should bring a man a holiday, surprising and striking the imagination.
10. She acts like his wife doesn't exist.
Talking about family life, and especially about a married man's spouse, should become taboo in a relationship. A good mistress needs to try to forget that her chosen one has a legal wife. You can build relationships on passion, mutual hobbies and liking for each other, while dissolving in momentary happiness and not looking into the future. And, of course, the ideal lover will never give her partner an ultimatum - either I or she.
Married men want their romance to resemble a game with clearly established rules and laws, which develops in parallel with their family life and does not interfere with everyday life. But this game should bring joy to both players, so relationships of this format should last as long as they suit the partners. In addition, even at the beginning of the novel, you need to accustom yourself to the idea that such relationships very rarely have prospects and the opportunity to develop into something more than ordinary intrigue. And even if an affair with a married man develops, this development will not be easy and painless.
A significant part of the female population completely refutes the possibility of a rendezvous with a married man, considering such relationships to be initially deadly for the soul and their own pride. But there are a considerable number of ladies who not only accept such a development of events, but also purposefully strive for just such a scenario. Putting aside hypocrisy and feigned pride, one can understand the very essence of the phenomenon.
Description of the problem
The psychology of a married lover compares favorably with the behavior of an inveterate bachelor or a conscientious family man, and therefore lends itself to full analysis by a sober-minded lady. Most wives, who have learned from their own experience the problem of triangular ups and downs, consider the main reason for their husband’s infidelity to be polygamy embedded in them (popularly referred to as “getting crazy”). In fact, the root of the problem may be hidden behind a screen of psychological disorders.
Problems are the root of betrayal
A common root cause of infidelity is problematic parental relationships:
- A child can constantly be a participant in parental swearing, during which the most unpleasant incidents from their private life are revealed. The result of such a “happy” childhood will be the inability to perceive family conflicts. In his own family, an adult man in moments of acute situations will subconsciously seek refuge, where he is accepted with his whole basket of bad habits and shortcomings. Skillful mistresses build their own behavior precisely on this foundation - the more demanding the spouse, the more loyal the passion from the outside.
- Parents, busy with social and work activities, forget to open their souls to their child. Lack of respect, sudden changes in the family climate and unexplained actions instill the concept of artificiality into the fragile child's mind. Marital fidelity does not receive clear boundaries and any difficulties undermine the already unstable peace of the family.
- Unsuccessful first sexual experience. Many do not accept the possibility that the psychology of a married lover directly depends on the behavior of the first woman. In the case when a girl openly expressed dissatisfaction, especially in the form of bullying, the man’s subconscious is constantly in a state of searching for confirmation of his own status. Mistresses are often more talkative in bed, having analyzed the possible needs of a married suitor, they clearly build a line of encouragement and, if successful, glorify his masculine potential.
- The child absorbed the example of a weak father. There are often cases when a boy was brought up under the strict control of his mother, who clearly laid out the line of matriarchy. An adult man is no longer able to move away from an oppressive relationship, so the mistress acts more like a sexual psychologist. Having discussed his own troubles and the futility of married life with a beautiful woman, a married lover reinforces all conclusions with rich love joys, which allows him to continue to humiliate himself in the circle of his own family.
Behavior model
The psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress gradually develops a pattern of behavior. The first experience of a forbidden relationship programs a man to constantly monitor the speech, movements and places of possible deployment of his mistress. The city in which the married hero lives with his mistress, day after day turns into a map with minefields. A man tries his best not to get caught on the arm of his wife in the eyes of his passion and vice versa. For some guys, this kind of situation gives some positive results: the brain calculates moves in advance, attentiveness increases several times.
Model of behavior of a “stray” married partner
There is a more common type of unfaithful men at the moment - the “stray” young married lover. His psychology of betrayal is quite simple - the wife confronted her with the fact of her own pregnancy, and the marriage was formed around the existing heir or heiress. The strength of such bonds is rather doubtful. A man, pressed against the wall with his tummy, sees his wife as a warden rather than as his faithful soul mate. Therefore, the appearance of a light and cheerful outlet on the side is a completely adequate reaction.
Many girls who set sail on the “marriage” river with just such rights often place all responsibility for the birth of the baby on their spouse. But pressure in the form of barbs or jokes only leads to the desire to gain balance; girls on the side in this case are a means to gain the missing dominance. The psychology of a married man with a mistress is distinguished by its stable state. The disadvantaged individual, who finally has the opportunity to receive dosed outbursts without accompanying moralizing or blackmail, notes an improvement in well-being, an influx of energy and aspirations, as well as an influx of physical strength.
Changes in a married lover
A man strives to match his well-groomed lover. The wife’s favorite pies are swept aside, but baked meat is only welcome. This is the psychology of a married man; they have a very significant difference from their wives - they have their own, they have a separate circle of friends, unfamiliar affairs and successes. The wife is always trampling underfoot, worrying about her family and children, grumbling about her mother-in-law and colleagues. You can always put pressure on your missus or make demands; your mistress can fly away on vital matters at any moment. The moment of lack of influence gives any man a feeling of ardent thirst, attracting him more and more.
If both partners are married...
There is also an option when married lovers and mistresses meet. The psychology of these relationships goes beyond a simple craving for novelty. A married lady not only indulges in adultery, she gives a piece of her own soul to her lover, taking it away from her family.
Why does a married lady have a married partner?
For women, the bonds of marriage are not empty words, even in the case of a fictitious union (by convenience or contract). Several factors can make a girl decide to have a forbidden relationship:
- Dissatisfaction with your own libido. Often seemingly prosperous married couples hide a deep conflict of sexual temperaments. If a woman has a more active position and desires for regular sexual activity and does not receive a response from her husband, thoughts about an additional place of intimate release gradually ripen in her psyche.
- The husband's sexual coercion also leads to the search for a more suitable partner. In a situation where a spouse aggressively promotes his own hidden fantasies, without caring about the emotional peace of his wife, he encounters a wall of not only misunderstanding, but also hysterical jitters. The best solution for most women is the presence of a married lover. After all, the existence of a spouse completely frees one from any obligations to a suitor.
- Lack of quality attention from the faithful. Without an emotional dialogue with their spouse, women most often withdraw into their own complexes and grievances; attention from a strange man feeds their ego.
What are relationships built on?
The psychology of a married lover in relation to his married mistress is built on quite tangible supports. The main one is the complete adaptation of the new passion to one’s own fate. A married lady, in fact, is a universal cocktail that gives pleasure and confidence in a man’s capabilities, and at the same time does not show a harmful passion for ringing. A pleasant bonus is complete harmony in terms of timing. Over time, a free lover will demand more attention to herself, while a married woman approaches the issue more thoughtfully, calculating all possible options.
The complete absence of trivial promises and vows qualitatively saturates the relationship of married lovers. The psychology of both parties is such that wild delight and the desire to suppress the partner are absent.
Why choose a married woman as a mistress?
Thanks to beneficial harmony, a relationship with a married woman is complemented by purely external factors. Such a lady completely rejects going out to crowded places and does not require pretentious parties, frisky races or spa resorts. The list of waste of a married man is qualitatively reduced and easily fits into it, especially if his legal wife scrupulously controls him. Men are also attracted to the relaxedness of married mistresses.
Animal interest in the forbidden ripens on both sides, giving the intimate relationship a “tasty” spice. The psychology of a married lover is built on the same classical laws - when one’s wife constantly talks about her age (both in social matters and in bed), the ego demands the satisfaction of the most ambiguous desires.
Ideal for both partners
In some situations, a married lover becomes a lifeline for single mothers. Over the years, loneliness puts forward a whole list of positive aspects of this phenomenon. Legal husbands often disappoint with their tyranny towards their spouse or child, so a married lover will not take educational initiatives towards the child, and will not tighten the atmosphere in the house. Rare visits also look tempting - a single mother does not often manage to set aside an hour or two for herself, so such a partner will not issue ultimatums.
Women believe that a married lover can help financially. The psychology of a man who has experienced the complexities of everyday life is such that he compromises more easily, he has to ask less often, a casually thrown phrase or a sigh evokes in such a partner a reflex developed in his life together with his wife.
Married lover: psychology, divorce
Over the past three decades, a different trend in such relations has been widespread. Many girls dream of finding a well-rounded man; most often a married lover suits them for the role of admirer. They plan to win such a partner, to conquer him. As a result, he will file for divorce from his missus. Thus, young and overly ambitious ladies want to get not just a win, but a universal jackpot.
The appearance of a younger or more experienced woman in the life of a spouse in most cases indicates stagnation in relation to the couple. Psychologists advise getting to the core of the problem before taking radical measures and sanctions. Family life is not just labor-intensive and painstaking, but also omnipresent. Any man needs frequent bursts of seething passions that would allow him to balance the emotional world with the external one.
Almost every girl since childhood dreams of a prince on a white horse who will find her, win her heart and make her the happiest in the world. And so, the years passed, the girl grew up, and he appeared on the horizon - a real Prince, smart, cheerful, caring, reliable, handsome, in love, in a word, not a man - a dream. But the “Prince” has one drawback - a wedding ring on his right hand. And the woman faces a difficult choice: to become this man’s mistress or to seek her destiny elsewhere.
Love triangles are as old as the hills, but now, like hundreds of years ago, women enter into relationships with married men in the hope that sooner or later their loved one will choose his mistress, leave his family and marry her. Are such hopes justified? Does a mistress have a chance to become the legal wife of her lover or is she nothing more than a temporary entertainment for a man?
Attitudes of men towards mistresses
Despite the assurances of friends and relatives, and the disappointing statistics that more than 80% of men never marry their mistresses, a woman in a forbidden relationship believes that her case is unique and she will be able to win her beloved from her wife. However, before considering the chances that a man will leave his wife and marry his mistress, it is necessary to understand why husbands decide to cheat on their wives and how they treat their mistress. , can be roughly divided into three main types:
1. Conditionally free - men whose marriage exists only legally. Such men may be in the process of divorcing their spouse or do not live under the same roof with her and are seriously planning to divorce. These men, as a rule, honestly tell their mistress about their life situation, and if they have feelings for her, they speed up the process of divorcing their spouse, introduce their new chosen one to their parents, friends, and after receiving a divorce certificate, they may well go to the registry office with their mistress.
2.Calculating - men who have a strong family and start an affair on the side solely for the sake of entertainment and new sensations. These men immediately tell their mistresses that they do not intend to divorce their wife and the mistress cannot count on more than regular meetings. Such men do not have strong feelings for their mistresses; for them, having a woman on the side is entertainment, a way to have a good time. These men do not limit the freedom of their mistresses, they can give expensive gifts, provide financially, receiving tenderness, affection, and sex in return.
3. Unhappy - men telling their mistresses how deeply unlucky they are with their wife, about constant quarrels, scandals with their spouse, and that their mistress is almost the only happiness in their unhappy life. However, in response to a rational question from a new girlfriend about when he will divorce his “terrible” wife, such a man begins to come up with 1000 reasons why he cannot do this right now, but promises to definitely divorce as soon as the child graduates/the children grow up/he pays off the mortgage/ he will be given a promotion/the Second Coming of Christ will occur. In fact, men from this category do not plan to get a divorce, because they do not want to change their established life, but they also do not want to lose their mistress, so they come up with excuses and amuse their girlfriend with vain promises.
Obviously, only the mistresses of the first of the above categories of men can seriously expect to change their mistress status to a stamp in their passport. However, many men from the third category can also tell their friends that they are about to divorce their spouse, but their words will be at odds with the real state of affairs. Therefore, psychologists advise women who are mistresses of married men not to wait more than 1 year for their lover’s divorce. The fact is that in the vast majority of cases, if a new girlfriend intends to be with her, he will file for divorce within the first year of their relationship.
Most men by nature do not like drastic changes in life, therefore, without serious reasons, they will not dare to leave their established life and their wife, with whom they have a warm relationship. In itself, a strong passion for a new girlfriend is not a sufficient reason for a man to divorce his wife, so unfaithful husbands prefer to meet their new lover secretly, carefully hiding the affair from the family. The reasons why men decide to divorce lie in his relationship with his wife, but not in his mistress, because if a man’s heart is occupied by his wife, there will initially be no place for another woman.
What should a married man's mistress do?
In life, events often do not happen as planned, and many women fall in love with married men and become mistresses. These women do not always have the strength and endurance to break it, so psychologists give some advice to girls who, by the will of their feelings, have become one of the corners of a love triangle. Using the recommendations, a woman will not force a man to divorce and marry her, but she will be able to make her own life better and, over time, painlessly free herself from her relationship with a married man.
1. Pay enough attention to your loved one. Doing what you love, visiting beauty salons, the gym, expanding your range of interests, acquiring new hobbies, etc. - all this will help a woman make her life brighter and more eventful and will help her, her strengths, and attractiveness.
2. Don’t ruin your plans because of your married lover. For example, if a woman is planning a meeting with her friends, and her married lover calls and informs about his wife’s departure and offers to meet, the mistress needs to go to her friends. By sacrificing plans to please her lover, a woman equates herself in his eyes almost to the level of a domestic dog, running at the first call of the owner.
3. Forget about your mother’s instructions that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” He has a wife, let her cook for him, wash his clothes, etc. A woman who is trying to become a lover and nanny for a married man has practically no chance of becoming his wife - he will come to her as if he were visiting a restaurant, a hotel with full board, to relax and have fun, and then return to everyday life.
4. Stop a married lover from talking about his wife. Many men try to “press on pity” and cry into their mistresses about what bad wives they are. These conversations are empty, their direct goal is the man’s mistress, so if he raises this topic, you should suggest either immediately filing for divorce, or talking about something more interesting for the woman.
5. Never try to tell your lover's wife about your existence. Many mistresses try to talk to their wife or arrange everything so that she finds out about her husband’s affair on the side and decides to divorce him. However, if the mistress achieves her goal, and her lover’s wife leaves her unfaithful husband, it is unlikely that he will run to propose to his mistress - it is more likely that he will accuse her of all mortal sins for destroying his well-established life and breaking up his family.
6. Look for your Prince. A woman should initially perceive a married lover as a temporary man, and a relationship with him as entertainment, and should not refuse to meet other representatives of the stronger sex. Leading an active life, meeting new people and not getting hung up on a married friend, a woman will definitely meet her soul mate and find family happiness.
Most of us have promised ourselves not to get involved with married men. However, not everyone was able to keep this vow. When you meet that one, the man of your dreams, you completely forget about everything. He is handsome, looks after him beautifully, is attentive, and also does not require immediate intimacy. Everything about him suits you, except that he is already married. By and large, very few women decide to say goodbye to such a man and break off any relationship. Some believe that they should fight for their love to the end, others decide to live only for today, to appreciate every moment spent with their loved one.
But this, as a rule, happens only at the very beginning. Sooner or later, a difficult time comes - a period of doubts and unpleasant thoughts. All the same, the realization comes that he is married, that you are only a mistress, and that your destiny is to share the man of your dreams with his wife. This is where terrible attacks of jealousy arise. After all, the right to the first call and the first night belongs to the legal wife, and not to the mistress. He runs to her at the first call, spends weekends and holidays with her, but you can count on rare hours and minutes spent together. There can be no question of any vacation or even a night spent together. It all belongs to HER. Gradually but inevitably, the question pops up in your mind, will he leave his wife soon? This thought does not allow you to live in peace, it becomes an obsessive problem.
In this case, you can try to estimate your chances of success. One of the advantages for a mistress is the age of the married lover. It is no secret that after about thirty-five to forty years, men experience a midlife crisis, when they want to dramatically change their lifestyle, environment, woman, assert themselves, etc. If he is a mature man, and you shine with youth and beauty, there is a chance that you will be able to turn the situation in your favor. The chances will increase sharply if you, as a mistress, behave intelligently, and his wife behaves stupidly. For example, a tired, irritable, unkempt wife regularly “gnaws” at her husband for various domestic troubles. The mistress awaits the arrival of her beloved in full force: a seductive outfit, skillfully done makeup, a prepared romantic dinner. In addition, she in every possible way pleases her lover, who is tired of the constant attacks of his wife (erotic massage, sexual games, etc.). And most importantly, she never demands anything in return and does not complain about anything. Neither loneliness, nor the absence of a legal husband and children, despite her no longer young age, nor fatigue from such relationships. Here we can only guess how long a woman can pretend to be a nice girl without problems.
According to statistics, if a man who has a woman on his side does not break off relations with his wife in the first year of “walking to the left,” most likely he will never do this again. Often, mistresses try to notify their wife about their existence in the first few months, hoping that she will kick the husband out of the house, or he will leave on his own, unable to withstand her daily hysterics and scandals about this. Of course, if the wife turns out to be an intelligent woman, with a huge reserve of patience and restraint, then all the attempts and efforts of her rival will not lead to the realization of her ultimate goal. Nothing will come of it if the beloved actually loves his wife and is attached to their common children (by the way, the majority of such men). For the sake of momentary passion, he will not want to part with what he has been building for so long (family relationships, giving birth and raising children). Such men can sometimes take a walk on the side, but things don’t go further than that. But if in this case the man still leaves for his mistress, just imagine what the price for such happiness will be.
Women strive to find a loved one, because we all need a strong male shoulder. Well, imagine, could a married lover be a person you can lean on in difficult times? After all, at this very moment he will most likely be next to his wife.
Usually a mistress does not immediately find out that she is not the only woman in her lover’s life. Moreover, the man demonstrates freedom with all his appearance and behavior. He is an unimaginable romantic, behaves like a free shooter and has a relaxed manner of communication. In the end, the woman will receive the confession that he is married, but it will be said as about some insignificant flaw in appearance, some annoying hindrance. A lover will mention his wife as if he were an inanimate object or as a distant relative. However, in this case, you shouldn’t delude yourself about him. A wife takes her rightful place in the life of any man, although she may have become unloved or become worse than a bitter radish. She can also be loved and not so much dressed up, it’s just that the man was initially too loving. It’s not often, but it still happens that, despite a long and happy marriage with one woman, a man meets, as it seems to him, true love, his soul mate, and leaves for her. But such a case is rather an exception to the rule.
Very often, married men take a woman on the side in the hope of finding participation and understanding in her person. The wife is either a bitch who does nothing but demand and make claims, or a colorless and ordinary person who cannot understand the extraordinary nature of her husband, or she is a business woman for whom her husband comes in third place after work and fitness. For him, his wife is like the North Pole with cold winds, frosts and hard labor, and his mistress is the warm south, where it is cozy, warm and good, because she is amazing, sympathetic, attentive and extraordinary. With her he feels different, confident, strong, with a pair of wings behind his back. He has something to tell her about, and she will always find the right words and make a lot of pleasant compliments to him.
For a married man, the less his mistress tries to push her license, the surprisingly nicer she is. Besides, how can she insist on anything? After all, in contrast to the bitch wife, she is such a sensitive and understanding person. After all, he lives in such difficult and unbearable conditions, he has to bear such a heavy cross. If the wife is not a bitch, then she is a hopelessly sick and nervous woman whom he, as a noble man, cannot leave. To justify their own behavior, married men can tell their mistresses anything: about misunderstanding, about the lack of emotional intimacy, and about how much they need them. In fact, most of them cannot frankly admit to women that they need them only to diversify or brighten up their gray everyday life.
A woman in love with a married man - today this is not considered shameful, it is an absolutely personal matter for everyone whom they let into their bed. Society reacts absolutely normally to such relationships. The main thing for a woman is that she loves, and let everything else burn with a blue flame. Love is such a delightful feeling, for the sake of which it is worth turning a blind eye to the humiliating position in which it finds itself, being the mistress of a married man. Despite this, such relationships are a source of mental trauma. No matter how good it is with a married man, no matter how much he praises her virtues, the woman still feels second-rate, because in the first place for a man she still remains She is the wife, which is confirmed by reality: spending evenings in constant anticipation of the arrival of her beloved or his call; he promised to meet his parents, but is not rushing things yet; I intended to carve out a week for a joint vacation at sea, but spent the entire vacation with my family; after each meeting he gets ready and leaves very quickly, without spending an extra ten minutes saying goodbye. A series of seemingly insignificant but tenacious humiliations sooner or later undermines and corrodes her personality. The awareness of one’s own inferiority and inferiority is deeply ingrained in one’s consciousness.
For most women, a lover is, first of all, a loved one. But it also happens that there is no love in such relationships. In this case, it can act as a sponsor. Since the woman has not found a soul mate, you can look favorably on married, but wealthy men. Such a lover will pay her bills for the apartment, groceries, purchase clothes and other necessary things, and “bring her out into the world,” introducing her to friends, often unmarried.
A woman can have a married lover “for the soul.” Usually these are women who have been married for quite a long period of time, tormented by everyday life and family problems (they need a lover to escape from reality) and women “under thirty” who have long crossed out all plans for their own personal life. It is important for them to simply be needed by someone.
Sometimes such a lover acts as a kind of “daddy” - this is far from a young married man who has got himself a young and pretty girl. In addition to her full support, the “daddy” gives her life advice, teaches her “life”, introduces her to the right people, and later finds her a young and promising guy and gets her married. Everyone is happy.
Lover “for health”, in this case a woman deliberately seeks a married man for sex. No obligations, purely “business” relationship.
