Warning of the Brothers Grimm Text. Land of Fairy Tales. Warning of the Brothers Grimm year, Black Forest, Confederation of the Rhine

The Land Of Stories. A Grimm Warning

Copyright © 2014 by Chris Colfer

Jacket and interior copyright © 2014 by Brandon Dorman

Author photo: Brian Bowen Smith/Fox

© A. Shcherbakova, translation into Russian, 2017

© AST Publishing House LLC, 2017

“Do you have any enemies? Wonderful. This means that you once defended your position.”

Winston Churchill

Dedicated

JK Rowling, Clive Staples Lewis, Roald Dahl, Eve Ibbotson, Lyman Frank Baum, James Matthew Barrie, Lewis Carroll and other extraordinary writers who taught us to believe in magic. If you think about it like that, it’s not surprising that my grades were so-so, since I was constantly climbing through cabinets, looking for the second star on the right and waiting for a letter from Hogwarts.

Also to all the teachers and librarians who supported me by introducing these books to children in schools and reading rooms.

I am so grateful to you that words cannot describe.

Prologue
Guests of the Great Army

1811, Black Forest, Confederation of the Rhine

It’s not for nothing that these places are called the Black Forest. The trees were barely visible in the darkness of the night: their trunks and foliage were so dark. And although the moon, peeking out from behind the clouds like a timid child, illuminated the forest, in the impenetrable thicket one could stumble upon anything.

A cool breeze hung in the air, hanging between the trees like a veil. This forest has grown here from time immemorial. The trees were ancient and their roots went deep into the earth, and their branches stretched upward to the sky. And if it weren’t for the narrow road winding between the trunks, one would think that no person had ever set foot here.

Suddenly, a dark carriage drawn by four strong horses rushed through the forest, like a stone fired from a sling. Her path was illuminated by two swaying lanterns, which made her look like a huge monster with glowing eyes. Two soldiers from the Grand Army of Napoleon Bonaparte rode next to the crew. They traveled secretly: their multi-colored uniforms were hidden by black cloaks so that no one would guess their intentions.

Soon the carriage stopped near the Rhine River. Very close by lay the border of the French Empire, which was expanding by leaps and bounds, around which the camp was located: hundreds of French soldiers pitched rows of pointed beige tents here.

Two soldiers accompanying the carriage dismounted and, opening the carriage doors, dragged out two men with their hands tied behind their backs and with black bags on their heads. The prisoners puffed and muttered something inaudibly - their mouths were gagged.

The soldiers kicked the men to the largest tent in the center of the camp.

Even through the thick fabric of the bags, a bright light broke through, flooding the tent, and the prisoners’ feet walked on the soft carpet. The guards forced the men to sit on wooden chairs in the back of the tent.

– J'ai amen? les fr?res1
?I brought my brothers. ( fr.) – Note here and below. translation

– Merci, Capitaine, someone else answered. – Le general sera bient?t l?2
?Thank you, captain. The general will come soon. ( fr.)

The bags were removed from the captives and the gags were removed. When their eyes adjusted to the light, they saw a tall, strong man standing behind a large wooden table. He looked imperious and frowned unfriendly.

“Hello, Brothers Grimm,” he said with a thick accent. – I am Colonel Philippe Baton. Thank you for visiting us.

Wilhelm and Jacob Grimm stared at the colonel in bewilderment. Wounded, bruised and torn clothes, they clearly did not come here of their own free will and desperately resisted.

– Did we have a choice? – Jacob asked, spitting the blood that had accumulated in his mouth onto the carpet.

“I believe you have already met Captain de Lange and Lieutenant Rambert,” said Colonel Baton, pointing to the two soldiers who had brought the brothers here.

“Acquaintance is not the right word,” Wilhelm grumbled.

“We tried to be polite, Colonel, but these two did not want to come with us voluntarily,” reported Captain de Lange.

The brothers looked around: although the tent had been pitched only recently, it was furnished with taste. In the far corner, a tall grandfather clock was counting down the minutes, two large candelabra, polished to a shine, were burning on either side of the entrance, and on the table lay a huge map of Europe with small French flags stuck into the conquered territories.

- What you need? – Jacob demanded, trying to free his hands from the bonds.

“If you wanted to kill us, we would already be dead,” said Wilhelm, also squirming in the ropes.

Hearing their rude tone, the colonel sternly knitted his eyebrows.

“General du Marchi requested your presence not to harm you, but to ask for your help,” said Colonel Baton. “But if I were you, I would speak more politely, otherwise he might change his mind.”

The Brothers Grimm looked at each other in alarm. Jacques du Marchi gained the reputation of the most formidable general in the entire Grand Army of the French Empire. Just hearing his name, they became cold with fear. What does he need from them?

The tent suddenly smelled of musk. The Brothers Grimm noticed that the soldiers smelled this aroma and became wary, but did not utter a word.

“Ay-ay-ay, Colonel,” someone’s thin voice was heard from outside. – Is it possible to treat guests like this? “Whoever it was obviously heard the entire conversation from beginning to end.”

General du Marchi entered the tent through the passage between two candelabra, and the flames of the candles fluttered as a gust of wind flew in. The tent immediately smelled sharply of musky cologne.

- General Jacques du Marchi? – Jacob asked.

The appearance of the general did not at all correspond to his fame as a terrible tyrant. Small in stature, with large gray eyes and large hands, he wore a huge round hat, the brim of which was wider than his shoulders, and several medals pinned to his uniform, as if sewn for a child. When he took off his hat and put it on the table, the brothers saw that he was completely bald. Then the general sat down at the table on a chair with a soft seat and carefully folded his hands on his stomach.

“Captain de Lange, Lieutenant Rambert, please untie our guests,” the general ordered. – Even though we are at enmity, this does not mean that we need to behave like a barbarian.

The soldiers carried out the order. The general smiled contentedly, but the brothers Grimm did not believe it - they did not see sympathy in his eyes.

-Why did you make us come here? – asked Wilhelm. “We pose no threat either to you or to the French Empire.”

– We are scientists and writers! There’s nothing to take from us,” Jacob added.

The general chuckled briefly and immediately covered his mouth with his hand.

“It’s a good story, but I know better,” he said. “You see, I have been watching you, Brothers Grimm, and I know for certain that you, like your fairy tales, are hiding something. Donnez-moi le livre!3
?Bring me a book! ( fr.)

The general snapped his fingers, and Colonel Baton took a heavy book from his desk drawer and plopped it down in front of the general. He began flipping through the pages.

The Brothers Grimm immediately recognized the tome - it was a collection of their fairy tales.

- Do you recognize it? - inquired General du Marchi.

“This is a copy of our collection of children’s fairy tales,” said Wilhelm.

– Oui4
?Yes. ( fr.)

. – The general did not take his eyes off the pages. “I’m a big fan of yours, Brothers Grimm.” Your stories are so amazing, so wonderful... How did you come up with them?

The brothers looked at each other warily, not understanding what the general was driving at.

“These are just fairy tales,” said Jacob. “We composed some ourselves, but most are based on folk tales that are passed down from generation to generation.

General du Marchi slowly shook his head as he listened to the brothers' explanations.

– But who hands them over? – he asked, abruptly slamming the book shut. The polite smile disappeared from his face, and his gray eyes darted between the brothers.

Neither Wilhelm nor Jacob understood what answer the general expected to hear.

– Parents tell fairy tales to their children, fairy tales are immortalized in literature...

- And the fairies? – the general inquired with the most serious look. Not a muscle moved on his face.

Deathly silence reigned in the tent. When the silence dragged on, Wilhelm looked at Jacob, and the brothers laughed forcefully.

- Fairies? – asked Wilhelm. – Do you think our fairy tales were whispered to us by fairies?

“Fairies don’t exist, General,” Jacob snorted.

Here the brothers were surprised to notice that General du Marchi’s left eye was quickly twitching. He closed his eyes and began to slowly rub his face until the spasm stopped.

“I beg your pardon,” the general apologized with a tense smile. – My eye starts to twitch when people lie to me.

“We’re not lying to you, General,” Jacob objected. - But if you, after reading our fairy tales, believed that everything there was for real, then we have received the highest praise for our...

- BE SILENT! - General du Marchi barked, and his eye began to twitch again. – You insult my intelligence, Brothers Grimm! We've been keeping a close eye on you for some time. We know about a woman in a shiny robe who tells you the plots of these fairy tales of yours!

The Brothers Grimm were speechless. Their hearts were pounding like mad, beads of sweat appeared on their foreheads. For many years they were faithful to the oath to keep everything secret, and until now their secret has not been revealed.

– A woman in shiny clothes? – asked Wilhelm. - General, can you even hear yourself? This is complete nonsense!

“My people saw it with their own eyes,” said General du Marchi. “She wears a robe with sparkling stars, a wreath of white flowers on her head, and she holds a crystal wand in her hands. And every time she returns, she provides you with a new tale. But where does it come from? I've wondered about this for a long time. And so, after looking at all the existing maps of the world, I assumed that the place where it comes from is not on any maps.

Wilhelm and Jacob shook their heads, desperately denying the general's words. But how can you deny the truth?

“You are a military man, and all military men are alike,” said Jacob. – You have already conquered half the world, but it’s still not enough for you, so you came up with God knows what and believed in it! You are like King Arthur searching for the Holy Grail...

– Apportez-moi l'oeuf!5
?Bring me an egg! ( fr.)

- General du Marchi ordered.

Captain de Lange and Lieutenant Rambert left the tent and a minute later returned with a heavy-looking chest entwined with chains and placed it on the table in front of the general.

Fumbling in his bosom with his hand, the general took out a ribbon with a key hanging on it. Having unlocked the lock and removed the chains, he opened the chest. First, he took out a pair of white satin gloves and put them on. Then he reached deep into the chest and pulled out a huge egg made of pure gold. It was clearly out of this world.

-Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? – General du Marchi asked, looking at the golden egg in fascination. – I think this is just the beginning - a small fraction of the wonders that await us in the world where your fairy tales, the Brothers Grimm, came from. And you will show it to us.

– We can’t show it to you! – Jacob exclaimed. He tried to get up, but Lieutenant Rambert forced him back down.

“The fairy godmother—that woman in the glittering robe you were talking about—tells us the stories of her world so that we can spread them here,” said Wilhelm.

“Only she can move between worlds.” We’ve never been there and we can’t send you there,” Jacob added.

-Where did you get this egg? – asked Wilhelm.

General du Marchi carefully placed the egg in the chest.

– From your friend, another woman who tells you fairy tales. Apportez-moi le corps de la femme oiseau!6
?Bring the body of the bird woman! ( fr.)

Colonel Baton left the tent and returned a minute later, dragging behind him a cart with a huge cage covered with a large piece of fabric. He pulled back the canvas and the Brothers Grimm gasped. In the cage lay the lifeless body of Mother Goose.

-What did you do with her? - Wilhelm cried, trying to get up from his chair, but he was not allowed.

“I’m afraid she was poisoned in a local tavern,” General du Marchi answered without regret. “What a pity that such a nice woman left us, but nothing can be done.” We found this egg on her. That's why I think: if this old drunk can move between worlds, then you can too.

The brothers turned purple with anger.

– And what will you do when you get there? Proclaim the fairy-tale world part of the French Empire? – asked Wilhelm.

“Perhaps, yes,” the general nodded, as if it was a settled matter.

- Nothing will work out for you! – Jacob said. “You can’t even imagine what creatures live there!” You will never become as powerful as them! There will be no wet spot left from your army as soon as you get there.

General du Marchi chuckled again.

- That's unlikely, Brothers Grimm. You see, the Grand Army intends to accomplish something monumental: conquer even more lands before the end of next year. The fairy-tale world is just a crumb of the pie that we want to get our hands on. Right now, thousands of thousands of French soldiers are preparing to join an army stronger than the world has ever seen. And I very much doubt that anyone or anything will stop us: neither the Egyptians, nor the Russians, nor the Austrians, and certainly not a handful of fairies and goblins.

– What do you need from us? – asked Wilhelm. – What if we fail to open a portal to another world for you?

The general smiled, but this time his smile was sincere. When he finally revealed his plans, his eyes lit up with a greedy fire.

“I give you two months to find a loophole into this fairy-tale world, Brothers Grimm,” said General du Marchi.

– But what if we don’t succeed? – Jacob inquired. “Like I said, Fairy Godmother is unpredictable.” It may happen that we will not see her again.

The general became stern and stared at the brothers with an angry look.

“Ay-ay-ay, brothers Grimm,” he said. – Everything will work out for you, otherwise your friends and families will not be happy. So don't let them down.

The tense silence was suddenly broken by someone's quiet snoring. Jacob looked at the cage and saw Mother Goose smacking her lips. And then, to the surprise of everyone present, the woman woke up - as if after a very long sleep.

“Where am I?...” muttered Mother Goose. She sat up and rubbed her forehead, then stretched her neck and yawned.

– Oh no, is it really the Inquisition in Spain again? How long was I out?

The general slowly rose to his feet, his eyes widening in surprise.

- Is it possible? She was poisoned! – he muttered under his breath.

- Well, I wouldn’t say they poisoned me... More like they gave me something to drink. – Mother Goose looked around the tent with interest. - Well, let's see. The last thing I remember was sitting in my favorite tavern in Bavaria. And the innkeeper poured it painfully generously... They call him Lester, a nice fellow, my old friend. If I have children, I will certainly name my firstborn after him... Wait a minute! Jacob? Willie? In the name of Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here?!

- We were kidnapped! – Jacob shouted. – These people are going to invade the fairy-tale world in two months! If we don't open the portal, they will kill our loved ones!

Mother Goose's jaw dropped; she looked dumbfounded from the Brothers Grimm to the soldiers. She was already having a hard time staying conscious, and this news made her head spin.

– But... but... how do they know?!

“They were watching us,” Jacob explained. - Everyone was followed, and they have your golden egg! They have an army of thousands, and they want to proclaim the fairy-tale world of the French...

- BE SILENT! - Colonel Baton ordered.

General du Marchi waved his hand and ordered the colonel not to interfere.

- No, Colonel, everything is fine. This woman will help our friends fulfill my request. She doesn’t want anything to happen to the brothers Grimm’s loved ones.

The general looked at the captive through the bars, like a wild animal. It was not the first time for Mother Goose to wake up in the most unexpected places and get into the most unusual troubles, but this had never happened to her. She was always afraid that the secret of the existence of her world would be revealed, but she had no idea that this would happen under such delicate circumstances. Her cheeks turned red, and she was seriously scared.

- I have to go! “The goose stretched out her hand, and the golden egg, flying out of the chest, moved into her cage. There was a bright flash - and Mother Goose disappeared into the air along with the egg.

The soldiers screamed, but the general was unperturbed. Only his gaze became even more greedy: he had never seen such miracles, and the disappearance of Mother Goose right from the cage proved that his guesses were correct and the fairy-tale world really exists.

The general looked at the floor and thought.

- Take me away! – he gave the order, nodding at the Brothers Grimm. In a matter of minutes, the brothers were again gagged, their hands were tied, and black bags were placed over their heads.

“Two months, Brothers Grimm,” said the general, without taking his eyes off the cage. – Find the portal in two months, or I will personally kill your loved ones before your eyes!

The Brothers Grimm groaned sadly. Captain de Lange and Lieutenant Rambert forcibly lifted them to their feet and escorted them out of the tent. Then they were pushed into a carriage and taken into a dark forest.

General du Marchi sat down on a chair and exhaled with relief. His heart was beating abruptly, thoughts were racing in his head. His gaze fell on the book of fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm, and he chuckled quietly. For the first time, the desire to take over the fairy-tale world did not resemble King Arthur's desire to get the Holy Grail - victory was just a stone's throw away.

The general took a small French flag from a map of Europe and stuck it in the book binding. Perhaps the Brothers Grimm were right: perhaps the fairy-tale world was fraught with wonders that he had no idea about, but now he could imagine them...

Chapter 1
Educational opportunity

It was midnight and the lights were on in a single house on Sycamore Drive, owned by Dr. Robert Gordon. A shadow darted in the second floor window: it was Conner Bailey, Dr. Gordon's stepson, pacing back and forth across the room. He had known for several months that a trip to Europe was awaiting him, but he began packing his things just before departure.

On TV they showed a rerun of one very exciting series, where the action took place right in space, and this did not help matters at all. It’s hard to tear yourself away from the screen when the girl captain and her crew are running away from the chase, and are being pursued by an evil alien horde. However, looking at his watch, Conner suddenly realized that there were seven hours left before the flight, so he turned off the TV and focused on getting ready.

“So...” muttered Conner. – I’m going to Germany for three days... That means I need twelve pairs of socks. “The boy nodded confidently and stuffed the socks into his suitcase. – Who knows, maybe it will be rainy in Europe.

Conner took about ten pairs of underwear from his drawer and laid them out on the bed. It was more than necessary, but after kindergarten, where he often woke up in a wet bed, Conner got used to taking extra laundry.

“Okay, I think I took everything,” Conner said, counting the things in the suitcase. – Seven T-shirts, four sweaters, a lucky stone, two scarves, another lucky stone, underwear, socks, pajamas, my lucky poker chip and a toothbrush.

Conner looked around, wondering what else he might need in Europe.

- Oh, pants! I need pants! – he suddenly remembered.

After placing this missing (and vital) piece of clothing into his suitcase, Conner sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath. A satisfied smile spread across his face. How can he restrain himself when he is so happy?

At the end of the last school year, Conner was called into her office by Principal Mrs. Peters and presented with an exciting opportunity.

- Am I in trouble? Conner asked, sitting down in front of the director's desk.

- Mr. Bailey, why do you ask about this every time I call you to my place? – Mrs. Peters looked at him over the glasses.

- Sorry. “Old habits take a long time to forget,” he shrugged.

“I called you for two reasons,” Mrs. Peters said. – Firstly, I wanted to ask how Alex is getting used to the new school. By the way, where is she? In Vermont?

Conner swallowed and rolled his eyes.

- Oh! - he burst out. Sometimes he forgot that his family made up a story about Alex transferring to another school. – She’s doing great! She is simply in seventh heaven!

Mrs. Peters bit her lip and nodded; it was obvious that she was upset.

“Wonderful, I’m very happy for her.” Although sometimes I selfishly hope that she will return and be my student again. However, your mom told me about the educational program at that school, so I’m sure Alex likes it there.

- Yeah, yes! Conner said and looked to the left so as not to look into Mrs. Peters' eyes. – Alex has always loved nature and maple syrup... In short, she feels good in Vermont.

“I see,” Mrs. Peters said, narrowing her eyes. – And she lives with your grandmother, right?

- Well, yes, with my grandmother... She also loves nature and maple syrup. This probably runs in our family,” Conner said and looked to the right. For a moment he panicked: he forgot which way people usually look when they lie - he saw it in one program on TV.

“Well, then give her my sincerest congratulations and tell her that I look forward to visiting her when she comes here,” said Mrs. Peters.

- Necessarily! Conner nodded, glad that she had changed the subject.

– Well, now I would like to discuss the second reason why I called you. – Mrs. Peters straightened up in her chair and pushed the booklet towards Conner. – My former colleague, who teaches English in Frankfurt, told me amazing news. It turns out that scientists from the University of Berlin have found the hiding place of the Brothers Grimm. I think you remember who it is - we took them in the sixth grade.