Why don't people like me like me? Why guys don't like me: reasons for failures in my personal life Why I'm not a guy

The question of why I don’t like guys becomes especially acute when it’s time to start a family and have children. If at the age of 18-26 a young lady can assure others that she is not interested in relationships because she prefers independence, then after 27 such an excuse will sound implausible.

Crisis 27 years

Every woman has a goal. She wants to raise a healthy and happy baby. If finding a partner to live with is a fantasy task, then career, friendship or painful attachment to parents usually comes first. It is worth noting that communication in these areas becomes overly scrupulous.

The closer to Balzac's age, the clearer the picture. After 27, she clearly understands: the reasons why I don’t like guys are hidden in me, and not in the people who are nearby. If a girl wants to have a serious relationship and become happy as a couple, she needs to find problems in the nooks and crannies of her soul. They don't allow her to develop her own story. Once the motives for loneliness have been found, it is worth trying to eradicate them.

Independence syndrome

Often people who have not dated anyone for a long time experience a “freedom” effect. Such a person assures friends and family that love is not for her. She takes on a variety of unnecessary things just so as not to feel lonely. Psychologists call this a defensive reaction.

The problem also arises if the girl once experienced a painful breakup or has the experience of unhappy love. In this case, she can independently answer the question “Why don’t I like guys?” It's all about the past.

The pain caused by a friend can remain in the heart for many years. This anchor pulls you to the bottom and does not allow you to move further. But by letting go of the burden, you will become free. It is then that you will stop assuring your loved ones that you are not interested in love and relationships.

The next step is memoirs. When you think back to the past, do not remember unpleasant moments, but think about the joy that intimacy brought. Then perhaps you will want romance again.

Panacea for the problem

A young lady who is unable to let go of the pain of the past is doing unnecessary things, looking for new hobbies and interests. Despite the fact that she meets many nice people along her life’s path, the girl remains withdrawn. “Why don’t I like nice guys?” she asks herself. All because there is no trust.

If this drags on, then subsequently it will be almost impossible to extricate yourself from the web of “independence.” A person isolates himself from the world and feelings that can cause suffering.

In order to protect yourself from torment and once again revive faith in people, you should choose a hobby that will maximally develop communication skills. Learn to trust. It is at various courses, in clubs and groups, and not at discos and bars, that you can find like-minded people. He will also become a friend of the heart.

Ghosts of past failures

“Why don’t I like guys?” asks a girl whose heart was once mercilessly broken. These rhetorical words need no explanation. Such a person is haunted by the ghost of the past in the form of her former boyfriend. When she meets a new person, she is afraid of getting burned again, so every next attempt to build love ends in fiasco. In order to drive away the phantom of previous connections, you need to learn to open up.

It should be noted here that every person is unique, and there is no universal formula for a perfect match. There is a high probability that the problems that destroyed the past romance will not even appear in the future.

If every time you come across men with whom the same situations arise, then you are either pathologically unlucky, or you yourself are drawn to this type of people every time. But there is another explanation for the cycle of such failures. It's attitude. If you are the one creating the misunderstanding, then the topic “Why I don’t like guys and how to change it” depends solely on your efforts and desires.

Search for the Prince

Another reason for loneliness is excessive demands. The longer a girl is without a partner who would claim a place in her heart, the more claims she has against her chosen one. A potential gentleman is faced with a wall of strict principles and stereotypes. It is no longer enough for him to simply show sincere and warm feelings towards his passion. He must look good, be successful and talented.

Often the bizarre reality where ideal men exist is shaped by books, films and stories from friends. Having listened and watched enough cheap melodramas, a person cannot objectively perceive the real world. Any problems will seem insurmountable.

What if the following thought increasingly appears in a girl’s head: “I don’t like guys, what should I do?” This means that the war is not lost yet, and there is a chance for a successful outcome.

Here you should understand that there are no ideal relationships. But you have the strength to love and come to terms with the small shortcomings of your companion, then he may not become a prince, but he will definitely make a queen out of you.

Hunter girl

In the modern world, gender roles have changed a lot. Often purely male tasks are performed by the fair half of humanity. Today, no one will be surprised by the fact that a woman earns a lot, raises a child on her own and performs difficult tasks.

She explains her loneliness this way: “I don’t like guys who are weaker than me.” And indeed, it is very difficult for men to impress such ladies. Emancipation and feminism have left a stamp of celibacy on many women. Usually such a person is full of stereotypes. It discourages a potential partner from conquering even at the first meeting.

Both immediately feel cold towards each other. If you are part of the hunting group, patience is the answer. The femininity that you show on the first date will allow your date to try to interest you. Perhaps the attempt will be successful.

Lack of role model

Family problems of parents, relatives and friends spoil the perception of reality. Quarrels, scandals and misunderstandings that happen in these couples before your eyes cancel out all the good things that exist there. This leaves a bitter voice that constantly says, “Why don’t I like guys and don’t want a relationship? Because such a turn will change my life for the worse!”

In this case, other people's troubles become the cause of your own failures. But if a girl really wants to find a loved one, then she should isolate herself from people who set a bad example. Each relationship is individual, and different couples have their own ideas about the same failures. If you are ready to work towards the future, don't be afraid of trouble. Remember, problems are like steps - if you overcome them, you will find yourself at the top.

Fighting Fear

Usually a girl who does not want a relationship, even on a subconscious level, avoids any contact with members of the opposite sex. If she herself does not realize this, then it is almost impossible to fight it.

But the manner of pushing away gentlemen can be discerned in yourself if you carefully analyze your behavior after dates and meetings.

If during a conversation a person behaves aggressively, argues, tries to humiliate or ridicule, rest assured, she is at risk. In this case, it is better to remain silent until the guy himself suggests a topic that really interests you. Then you will perceive him with sympathy, and not with suspicion.

In a situation where your partner openly talks about his feelings, but you don’t care, it’s worth doing one simple test. Ask yourself: “Why don’t I like guys who like me?” Perhaps you consider yourself unworthy of their attention, you are afraid of being betrayed or abandoned. Another option is fear of major changes in life. Another excuse is the elementary horror of being alone with a gentleman.

In any case, it should be remembered: according to Sigmund Freud, a person meets only those who already live in his mind. Pure thoughts and positive hopes are the key to a happy meeting.

“I don’t think I’m ugly or stupid, but why don’t guys like me?...” - familiar thoughts? Girlfriends are flirting left and right, but you don’t have a boyfriend? You're all alone in the evenings... So, stop sitting and being sad! If guys don't pay attention to you, there's a reason. Now we’ll try to figure out what’s wrong with you. The most important quality that every attractive girl is endowed with is self-confidence. First of all, you should be satisfied with yourself, love yourself, have self-esteem (but not pride). Girls who are insecure and do not love themselves have no chance of male sympathy. It is clear that there are no ideal people, but accumulating complexes and engaging in self-flagellation is far from the best option to win men’s hearts. To understand the reason for your unattractiveness, you need to answer the question: “What kind of girls do guys like?”, and only then, taking everything into account, try to improve. You'll see, you'll succeed! So, what kind of girls do guys usually pursue? Self-confidence is at the forefront of everything. What does it consist of?

Why guys don't like me: fixing it

• Appearance. A self-confident girl will not “plaster” herself with kilograms of cosmetics, but she will also not refuse to emphasize her natural beauty. In addition, a confident girl is not afraid to stand out from the crowd. She will choose stylish clothes that will highlight the beauty of her figure and hide flaws. A man, as they say, loves with his eyes. Beautiful hairstyle, stylish clothes, competent light makeup - and voila! - you are at the epicenter of male attention!
• Smile. Even the most beautiful girl will scare off a guy if she walks the streets with an expression of worldly sorrow on her face. You don’t want to meet someone like this, but at best, feel sorry for her. A sincere smile indicates that the person is friendly, interesting and eager to communicate. And she makes her face much prettier.
• Sight. When wondering why guys don’t like me, you need to remember how I look... Your gaze should express interest in others, but at the same time be mysterious. Don't be afraid to shoot eyes at the guy you like. Just know that a flirtatious female look is an entire art. He shouldn't look stupid and pretentious. It should express your self-confidence, coquetry, interest, sometimes even slight insolence and some challenge. The guy definitely won’t forget this look! Just practice first at home in front of a mirror :)
• Manners. A confident girl has an easy gait. She doesn't slouch, she looks straight into the eyes. Her movements are natural and not tense. A confident girl has a pleasant and clear voice. She has excellent command of it, so even with the help of intonation she can say more than with words. She has smooth movements, she sits down beautifully, stands up beautifully, offers her hand, etc.
• Femininity. When a girl in a group is a “good guy”, she is perceived as a friend. Guys are attracted to those creatures who are unlike them, next to whom they can feel like real men. And who is it? Feminine girl. Such a girl, firstly, watches her words and behavior. She will never allow herself to call out a guy rudely or go drink beer with her friends. And secondly, she has self-esteem. She will not allow anyone to humiliate herself, and at the same time, she will never humiliate herself. Even from one glance at her, it is clear that turning to her with an indecent proposal would be a shame. Such a girl will allow a guy to conquer her, and she will never hang herself around the neck of the first person she meets.
• The art of communication. It happens that a guy likes a girl, but as soon as it comes to conversation, he wants to run away from her. No guy likes stupid girls. There is no need to talk to him about purely feminine topics and cry into his vest. A confident girl is an interesting conversationalist, but an even more skillful listener. Guys love to tell girls about themselves. Show interest, ask him questions, offer non-standard situations for reflection, argue with him and agree. And most importantly, express your thoughts correctly. Choose not only words, but also intonation.
• Humor. Guys adore cheerful girls who have their own healthy sense of humor and sweet feminine laughter. Try to interest him with a joke, and not offend him.
• Understanding. A girl should be able to understand male psychology, at least as a minimum. You can talk about it for hours, but the main thing you must learn now is to learn to understand him and accept his weaknesses. Don't criticize him, don't shout, don't demand. When a girl does this, she makes you want to make her legs faster. And if this is your usual behavior, it’s no wonder that your main question is: why don’t guys like me... A smart and confident girl will try to sort out the conflict peacefully. She will definitely talk calmly with the guy, listen to him and understand. At the same time, she admits that she is not satisfied. Believe me, such a girl has a much greater chance of fixing something in her relationship with a guy!

Well, these are the kind of girls that attract guys. If you draw a portrait of an antipodean, you will get an ugly, unkempt, stupid, narcissistic, rude, touchy, sad, selfish, uninteresting masculine girl. But you're not like that! Perhaps you have a couple of shortcomings that are preventing you from becoming popular among guys. So everything is in your hands! Put a little effort into correcting them, and then you won’t even notice how you will have fans.

Each of us wants to be attractive, so we immediately take up tools that help hide flaws and highlight what is beautiful about us. These actions are not entirely selfless: after all, we women love to please not only ourselves, but, above all, men. And in this pursuit of a beautiful appearance, we easily go overboard. And then a series of questions arise: “Why don’t guys like me? What is wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone pay attention to me? But let's not panic, and consider the possible reasons why this happens. 10 reasons why guys don't like me.

1. Tips per kilometer - where did all the men run away?

Well-groomed hands are the calling card of a modern fashionista. Her appeal is the perfect manicure and beautiful polish—no cheap diamonds or weird designs. That's all. No more needed. Nails don't have to be long like a vampire's. Beautifully filed, without protruding ridges on the sides, decorated with a light manicure - simple, naturally attractive. It’s a real nightmare when a man sees “gnawed” nails and mega long tips. Ladies are not sexy, not feminine, and certainly not gracefully. Artificiality has nothing to do with looking good. If you have poor nail structure and cannot do without artificial ones, choose the optimal length - that is, one that will not turn your hands into predatory claws.

2. Obsessive application of makeup

There may be some men who love heavy makeup, however, most believe that an attractive woman does not need to apply a ton of powder, several layers of eye shadow and the same amount of lipstick. The guys adhere to the principle: the less the better. Therefore, if you cannot do without foundation, apply it in moderation. By the way, in addition to powder and shadows, it is worth mentioning artificial eyelashes. Professional extensions and re-gluing of synthetic eyelashes purchased at a pharmacy have become widespread. Each of us dreams of a beautiful eye frame, but... moderation is required here too. The procedure for thickening eyelashes is not a crime, just like lengthening them. However, according to most men, eyelashes like a doll are, at a minimum, very ugly.

3. Helmet instead of well-groomed hair

Excessive cosmetics are also not welcome on your hair. The hairstyle is fixed with a large amount of varnish, which also scares off many men in close contact. They believe that a “house for rodents” on a girl’s head is not stylish, even if a whole staff of designers claims the opposite. There are also comments like: “I wouldn’t approach a woman whose hair resembles a helmet or a wig. Do you want to be attractive? Take care of the condition of your hair and facial hairstyle. Avoid centimeter extensions. Trim off damaged ends. Conduct an audit of your bathroom and make sure how many foams, gels and varnishes you really need?

4. Eyebrow care

Women have been regulating eyebrow growth for centuries. In the Middle Ages there was even a fashion for gluing mouse skin along the contour of the eyebrows. Target? Ideal shape and density. The effect was different. Conclusion? Naturalness is unparalleled. Men have a similar opinion, who look with disgust at the thin lines drawn with a black pencil. The shape of these eyebrows often resembles the McDonald's logo. A beautiful eyebrow line is a decoration for the eyes and the entire face, don’t forget about it, ladies.

5. Excessive tanning in a solarium!

A gentle tan makes the body attractive, which goes well with many outfits. Dependent running to the solarium brings a completely different effect. A few visits and the woman looks like a mackerel - this is one of the most popular terms used by men. Excessive tanning damages the skin and looks terrible. And in combination with dyed black, red or white hair - don’t count on close attention from guys! Don't believe me? Look through archived photos of celebrities and you'll find that many have overexposed themselves to tanning beds or damaged their skin.

6. Incredibly big lips

Nowadays, aesthetic medicine has become accessible to the public, and therefore not only celebrities use its services. Many women and young girls decide to undergo lip augmentation procedure. They believe that this way they will become attractive. Error! Guys prefer not ideal, but also natural beauty. Pumped lips, a touched-up nose and cheeks cause disapproval among guys. Don't be fooled by your first impression, artificial aesthetics have nothing to do with an attractive appearance. Even if celebrities and the media claim otherwise.

7. The body as a work of art - guys don’t like it?

Are you dreaming of multiple tattoos? If you care about attractiveness, leave this idea. At best, you can choose a henna tattoo. Few men believe that painting on a woman's body is very attractive. Especially on the shoulders, back and legs. Apparently, tattoos do not resonate with femininity itself. Guys believe that the skin of the fair sex itself is unique and sexy. Therefore, there is no need for additional decorations, much less any drawings.

8. Neglect of the body, plus excess weight

If excess weight is not associated with a disease, it is not attractive. At least that's what the men say. The fatal impression is caused by young girls who are obese and squeezed into tight clothes. And in the majority, these are passionate lovers of fast food or candy. If a girl at this age doesn't take care of herself, what will happen in five or ten years? What will her body look like? By taking care of yourself, you agree to eat healthy and exercise. According to the guys, the attractive woman doesn’t know what extra pounds are.

9. Hairstyle comes from a cartoon

It turns out that the colors are far from natural tones and are not welcome. Men believe that such a hairstyle spoils more than it decorates. If you walk down the street in a combination of intense color and an avant-garde hairstyle, you can be sure that not a single guy will pay attention to you, well, perhaps out of surprise. Men love long hair. Smooth or curly, reaching to the shoulders or arms - they look very attractive. Guys have nothing against short hairstyles, provided that the hair is not shaved on one side.

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10. Why guys don't like me: character matters

It is not only appearance that determines attractiveness, although it must be admitted that it is most important during the first visual contact with a guy. A man is “allergic” to certain types of female behavior. Among the most common, guys mention rudeness and frigidity. Men love to show feelings... Smartly. A woman should be gentle, but not excessively. Men also do not like pride, aggression and arrogance. They favor moderate self-confidence, character, and even rebellion. A rebellious woman is more likely to please a man than a representative of the fairer sex who follows social stereotypes. Other undesirable behaviors include: too loud, high-pitched laughter, questioning after every party, excessive curiosity, exaggeration of facts, unfounded accusations, pathological jealousy, lack of passion and gossip.

Each girl is picky about the opposite sex in her own way. And many of them are faced with the problem of lack of sympathy for guys, which is quite alarming for the young lady. But not everyone is trying to solve this problem, counting on time: they say, it will present her with the prince she has dreamed of since childhood. "Why don't I like guys?" - this is one of the most asked questions of our time.

Who do you like?

If you decide to find the answer to the question: “Why don’t I like guys?” - then for starters

think about who you can love. Perhaps you idealize your dreams too much and strive for them, not noticing the true sympathy around you. But in this case, you need to understand that the princes went extinct along with the dinosaurs, and you will never meet a copy of Brad Pitt. Come down from heaven to earth. Look carefully at yourself, your appearance and character. Are you ideal to look for a similar young man? If yes, then this is commendable, it means that your soulmate really lives somewhere, just as ideal as you. On the other hand, maybe you don’t “don’t like the opposite sex” at all, but are simply attracted to girls? This is a separate topic for which you should consult a psychologist or try to build a same-sex relationship and check your true orientation.

I don't like anyone!

“Why don’t I like guys, because they show me attention and confess their love?” But in fact - why? Maybe they're not your type? Try to meet a young man from a different company, of a different appearance and age. Don't like it either? Then the reason most likely lies in childhood. What is your relationship with your father? Most often girls look for

imagine a young man, like a twin, similar to dad. But think about it - your father loves you as a daughter, not as a girl. How do you know that he could become your betrothed? And your love for him is very different from your feelings for the opposite sex. Yes, your dad is perfect, but he is the only one, and you need to build your own family, completely different. Do you really want to move from your father’s house to live in the same monastery?

Is it possible to love just like that?

If you understand the answer to the question “why don’t I like guys,” then perhaps you will make an attempt to love the person who is favorable to you. Of course, this is worth doing, but if you didn’t initially like the guy and even after a long conversation didn’t sink into your soul, then it’s unlikely that you can evoke

sympathy. All this will be fake, you will only torment the person. Better find someone else and try to find the positive aspects in him. “I don’t like guys,” you say, giving up on your personal life. But there are so many wonderful people in the world, free guys, that you will definitely like one of them. Don’t give up at the first meeting when you see a stain on your shirt. Perhaps he is not a slob, but simply had coffee spilled on him in the office. Get to know the guy better, go on a second and third date, try to spot his flaws (how he doesn't notice yours). And then you will just have to put this material aside and look at another, for example, “Does the guy like the girl?” to find out whether your feelings are mutual with that same young man.

Date: 2015-05-05