My husband hates me - what should I do? What to do if your husband is abusive? Further resolution of the situation depends on finding the cause of hatred for your husband. What to do if you start to hate your husband

Basil:

My wife and I have this situation. My wife and I have been living for a year, we have a beautiful daughter. I love my wife very much. Before the renovation of the new apartment, we lived for 9 months in perfect harmony. The child is 4 months old, when he sees his dad, the child’s mouth is from ear to ear, after work I run home quickly to help my wife. It’s not difficult for me to wash dishes and cook food, and I do it willingly. I am a security officer and am involved in cash collection. Once, during a quarrel, she told me I want to cheat on you, even though I love my dear husband very much. And then she found stupid correspondence with me on a strange dating site, where there are no normal people except anxious ones, and somehow we were fooling around with colleagues and I forgot to delete these nonsense. My wife accidentally found this correspondence, I just came after two days, plus I was tired, I didn’t sleep much like a person, after my shift I lay down for a couple of hours and got up and started repairing my wife’s car, since she’s driving the child with it. I was busy in the garage until 2 am. I came and went to bed, plus my friend and I had a good drink while they were repairing it. At 5 in the morning my wife will be with me and ask questions, do you love me, I answer yes, our family is dear to you, I answered yes. What kind of correspondence am I responsible for? She shows me on my smartphone and said you have been cheating on me all this time that we live together. I explain to her, when should I cheat, you and I are on the phone 24 hours a day, quickly home from shift, and as a result there is a big scandal right in the morning. I forgave her and forgot those words that she told me earlier that she wanted to change me. I think that in a quarrel a husband and wife will not tell each other. During the quarrel, my friend came to visit. My wife told me that this is a scam, I don’t believe you. I never cheated on her, and there was no such thing in my thoughts. All the time home work, work home. Plus, the apartment where we live is still undergoing renovations, which I do with my own hands, and I manage to help my wife and child with everything. My friend and I drank wine, then cognac. I had the urge to say these words to my friend in front of my wife: fuck my wife, since she wanted to cheat on me, let her cheat on me in front of my eyes. My comrade, why did you Vasya get up and leave. After these words, there was scandal after scandal in our family, things got to such a point that she began to insult her all the time and send me bad names. Every day I apologize to her for these words. Here another person showed up, whom I saw once in my life 5 years ago; out of pity, my mother sheltered her for 4 days when her luggage did not arrive from Pulkovo to Mineral Waters. She sued me for allegedly having a son from her. My wife is very tired of everyday problems, repairs, a baby plus, conflicts began to turn into fights, she constantly yells over little things. I am silent, trying to step aside, she left to cheat on me, and I go into the yard to get some air and calm down. And now she has gone to her homeland with the child, telling me that she wants to take a break and think about how to save the family. Everything has always been good in our intimate life. My wife has a difficult character and does not know how to forgive; she has not been able to forgive her own brother for four years because he either hit or pushed him in a quarrel; history is silent about those events. I don’t even know what to think, whether this pause will save the family or not. The only thing I’m afraid of is if he files for divorce, since I work with weapons, this news won’t put a bullet in my head. Tell me what to do in this situation. I quit smoking and because of these events I started smoking again, I drink very rarely.

Regina:

Hi all! Another “dumb fool” and “sheep” is also writing to you (((How are you doing? Has something changed? I have a similar situation, only I’m also pregnant. Today I called my mother-in-law and asked to talk to him about his behavior, about the fact that he began to leave the house at night, asked to explain to him that he was not a 16-year-old boy to behave like that. She asked to talk about the fact that if I don’t suit him, then let him leave and not get on the nerves of my pregnant woman and ours. daughter, to whom he pays no attention. I tried to talk a lot myself, but he immediately runs away and doesn’t even look me in the eye. After our conversation with my mother-in-law, she answered me: husbands don’t run away from a good wife and don’t behave like that... He. perfectly understands and feels the support of her mother.

Anna:

I am 34, my husband is 36. We have been married for 11 years, we lived for another 5 years before marriage, our daughter is 4 years 9 years old, our son is 1 years 9 months old. There were feelings before. Now I started to hate him! My husband doesn’t drink, works (occupies a leadership position), is not stupid, doesn’t go out on walks, helps around the house from time to time, but... our problem is computer games! He comes home from work, sits down at the computer and it’s useless to question him about anything. Moreover, he has golden hands; if he does something, he does it very well. But with a favor. Before the weekend, he will sit at the computer all night, then sleep until lunch. And I, not getting enough sleep, because my son doesn’t sleep well at night (he’s teething), crawl out of bed, feed the children, and try to somehow bring myself to my senses. We don’t go anywhere, I don’t say anything about vacations - for so many years we have never been anywhere, we don’t work with children - maybe we can spin them around for 10 minutes and that’s it. Plus, he is quite aggressive: if he is not in the mood, he throws things, he can break or break something, he yells at the children, swears, and pulls them. True, he never even swung at me or insulted me. I think he's afraid of my mother. She, as she herself says, “will take out the door and drop the balcony.” The first bells appeared about 7 years ago. I worked as a teacher and my salary was, to put it mildly, not great. Plus we had 3 loans. And so he felt the urge to take the car. I was categorically against it. In general, a complete disaster! This is where the accusations began that there was no income from me, etc. and so on. And the fact that I went to work in another city in winter in torn boots, and he drove a car, did not bother him.

Then somehow everything got better. I found a job in my city. Where I still work today. True, with breaks for 2 maternity leave. When our daughter was born, we lived in a one-room apartment (with my mother-in-law). It was then that his whole character emerged. My daughter has colic and is screaming! I didn't sleep for days. He blows himself up at night, grabs her, shakes her, swears at her. I was afraid that he would throw her against the wall someday. Then my daughter grew up. I went to work. I worked for six months, and then “bang, and the second shift.” I became pregnant for the second time with my son. Maternity leave again. It’s easier here, we moved to a two-room apartment. Dad and daughter are in one room, me and my son are in another. All my sleepless nights. 2 weeks after giving birth, I started having panic attacks and a constant feeling of anxiety. Gradually I turned into a hysteric. She began to lash out at the children. And no help from anyone. The mother-in-law occasionally takes her daughter to her place for the night. But rarely. There is also a son with his beloved daughter. My mother and grandmother are far away. And there is no one else. I just got back from my second maternity leave. I hope things get easier at work. And then, I think, I will decide what to do. I'm afraid the kids will hate it when they grow up. He can be very cruel to them. He doesn’t want to listen to anyone, he believes that he is doing everything right. He didn’t care about all the arguments. For him, people are stupid and do not live correctly. If my sister and her husband went on vacation, where did they end up, they don’t have any money anyway. When I start talking about vacation, there is no money, or I want us to have everything and then go somewhere. We no longer have common interests.

Woman:

I am suffering a lot in my marriage! Married for 9.5 years, I’m 29, he’s 33. Two children, 6 and 4 years old, I completely depend on him! I live in his apartment, I drive a car for his money. He doesn’t officially work, I know that if I leave, there will be no alimony, and if he is a “Sunday” dad, I’m sure that he will tell his children in graphic colors at this time what a *** I am and turn them against me. Now we are quarreling, we try not to do it in front of the children, but in the end it turns out loud, they still hear everything and the youngest cries. He beats me and humiliates me. If we have a fight and the children suddenly ask the question, why!? - he has one answer, because your mother is a fool, etc. and so on. I don’t know how to do anything in life, I’m a terrible housewife, my mother is also disgusting, there’s nothing to respect me for. In the evenings he “chases” me, then *** (sorry), and THEN suddenly he says, well, forgive me, I still love you! I LOVE!? The fact that I want to sleep or do some of my own business is out of the question! He's watching a movie, I have to sit with him, and the fact that I don't like him!? - it can't be! Because the films that I like will definitely be complete crap. And he is also a wealthy young man, and if he gets divorced, then a line of young girls (and this will happen) will immediately stand at his door. And with 2 children in my arms and a not-so-super-model with a bunch of chronic illnesses, no one will need me anymore! During the divorce, they threaten to sue my children, because... I don’t have much income (I work as a manager) and I don’t have my own living space. Sometimes, in moments of enlightenment, he takes me shopping, gives me gifts and flowers, says kind words, hugs and kisses in front of the children, but this is a DROP IN THE SEA! I can't get a divorce. I endure everything and remain silent for the sake of the children. And the children say that their dad is the best in the world (and they are already accustomed to such material conditions that I have to put up with all this). I dream that when the children grow up, there is simply nowhere to go, let me greet old age alone rather than with him! And let him continue to invite friends to our place (we have a big apartment, there’s plenty of room) even every day and give everyone something to drink at his own expense, but after these events I won’t satisfy him anymore, even ***! But it is only dreams...

Marina:

Poor girls! Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of my acquaintance with my husband. Then he left and was not home for a day. Who needs it? I don't love him, and he doesn't love me either. Why live together? I should have gotten a divorce a long time ago, but how troublesome it all is. Share a house, property. I don't care who he's with. At 56 years old, with 38 years of family experience, this is even more of a plus. But when he is not at home, I feel good. So we need to get a divorce. So, get a divorce, girls, who still has hope for love! I think that these cattle are needed only for childbirth. These are biological animals who live only by instincts; there is not a single happy married couple nearby!

Natasha:

I have been living with my husband for 23 years, I am 42, and he is 45. We have two girls, the eldest is already married, the youngest is in the 4th grade. I understand that I can no longer live with my husband, he constantly yells out of the blue, yells obscenities anywhere and in front of anyone, he can attack me, then he calms down and says that it’s all my fault. I just hate him, sometimes I want to kill him! Over the years, so much resentment has accumulated against him and his entire family, I hate them, because my son and brother are good, but I’m so bad. I still think I’ll get a divorce and live in peace, I hope after the divorce and separation everything will be fine for me. Yes, the problem is that I registered it in the apartment and now I don’t know how to throw it out, it will go to mommy in the village to twist the cows’ tails.

Alyona:

And today is my 20th anniversary of meeting my husband. And I hate him. I’ve been married for 16 years, my son is 15. I don’t depend on him financially at all, he depends on me. It doesn’t hit me, of course, if I tried it, I would immediately fly out of the house with my clothes. I can’t say that it offends or offends in any way. But when he drinks, and he drinks regularly, he knows no limits, he becomes disgusting to the point of trembling. I can't stand the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. I don’t drink alcohol myself, except maybe a couple of glasses of champagne on New Year’s Eve, and even then not always. And this one gets drunk and stinks of fumes, and even smokes, although only on the street, at home it’s taboo, but in the end the stench is incredible, I’m already sick of his stupid look, slurred tongue and bullish behavior. He has been deaf to my requests not to drink to such an extent for 20 years, although in his youth he drank less often and less. I kick him out into the living room on the sofa to sleep every weekend, but it doesn’t matter, we’ve been sleeping in the same bed like brother and sister for several years now. He probably has some kind of problem with potency, but I’m just glad that he’s not coming at me with his stinking face. When I still had sex, it didn’t give me pleasure, I just endured it.

Ask why they didn’t break up? I myself don’t know the exact answer. Because of his son, he always said that a full-fledged family was important to him, he didn’t want our divorce, he tried to reconcile us when we had a row and wanted to file for divorce, plus habit, everyday conveniences. He helps around the house, cleans, does laundry, takes me shopping, takes care of utilities and other tedious and unpleasant chores, took my son to kindergarten and school and picked me up, trained my son and all that. He helps me at work, I have my own business, he is always on hand, and again, he solves all economic issues. In general, I feel comfortable with him. When he’s not drinking, I don’t have any special complaints about him; we live very peacefully, even happily. But as soon as I see him with a glass, hatred rolls over me with wild force, I want to hit him, immediately throw him out the door, divorce him, kill him... I don’t know what else to do, because I know that in 15 minutes he will be in front of me not this person, but a vile, drunk, smelly redneck with flat jokes, a stupid face and other attributes. This is exactly the case now. And I sit on the Internet and throw out my hatred here. And I want to scream. And I’m afraid and don’t want my teenage son to see this and consider drunkenness to be the norm.

Dmitriy:

I couldn’t pass by and I want to ask a question. To begin with, I will briefly describe the situation:

My wife and I have been together for almost six years. My daughter is almost four years old, I love her madly. There is a son who is soon to be ten. He mainly lives with his mother, with whom we were not registered, but he bears my last name and is registered with me. We see him mostly on weekends. When I met my wife, my financial and work situation was difficult due to a bad investment of money, and it took a long time to sort it out. I am an entrepreneur, I have a big house and good development prospects, which are currently growing. For about six months now I have been noticing strange behavior in my wife. She has become irritable and screams constantly, often for no reason at all. Regarding close relationships, I can say that I don’t need it every day, once a week is enough, that’s the way my body is. Besides, I am often tired due to hard work. But at the same time, I never stopped my wife and, despite my exhausted state, I made love to her and did not feel tired at the moment of intimacy. Of course, there were conversations with my wife regarding my feelings and the fact that I seem cold to her and don’t want her every day. I tried to explain to her that I love her very much, it’s just the way I’m built.

Two months ago, during a moment of intimacy, a slight embarrassment happened to me - I suddenly relaxed. This has happened to me several times in my forty years of life, even in my youth. Now my wife pushes me away and says that she simply doesn’t want this, and without any reason. Allegedly, because of the last incident, something “broke” in her. And over the past few days I have learned from her that she has long had a desire to leave me and the key reason is that I supposedly pay more attention to my son than to our daughter. I never allowed myself to even say a bad word to my wife, let alone raise my hand to her. I work a lot, trying to earn money to expand my business. I don’t consider myself an irresistible handsome man, but there was always a lot of female attention around me. I am athletic and one might say that I am handsome. In addition to my main job, I have a hobby - writing books. Currently published in Canada.

Why am I writing all this, I am sure that I am worthy of attention. And so my wife pushed me away. I'm terribly offended, no one has ever humiliated me like that. I can clearly see that she would love to leave, but now she’s afraid. She wanted to go with her daughter to the sea to her brother and live there without me, but I said that I regarded this as a betrayal and would divorce her. I realize that if the relationship improves and she even takes the first step towards intimacy (I myself will never approach now), then on her part it will be without love, but simply as a kind of gesture of humility. I can’t do that and I don’t want to. What can you say about all this?

Sofia:

I hate my husband, we’ve been living together for 30 years, there’s nowhere to leave him. I am 60 years old. He doesn't leave me. My husband hates me too. We live in an old house. If you sell the house, there won’t be enough money for 2 one-room apartments. I do not know what to do! I have nowhere to go. He could go live with his parents, but he doesn't want to. And I have nowhere to go at all. I no longer have the strength to live with him. The husband goes crazy, constantly clings, yells, humiliates, sometimes raises his hand, says that he will burn the house down, and says that he doesn’t care even if he goes to prison. We quarrel with him every day, like a stamp was put in the registry office, since then there have been scandals. When I was young, he cheated on me all the time. But we didn’t get divorced, he didn’t leave me. Due to constant scandals, I have many illnesses, I had a heart attack and a mini-stroke and other illnesses. For 30 years, I have been praying to God for my husband to leave me, disappear, go fishing and not return, or find a mistress and leave, but my dreams do not come true. I can't live like this. The doctor told me that I should live in a calm environment because of my illnesses, but every day there is a “war” at home. What can I do so that my husband leaves me and never gets on my nerves again, so that I never see him again, and live calmly, enjoy life. It’s unfair that I’ve been living and suffering with him for so many years, I want to at least at the end of my life live well, without scandals, in a calm environment, and enjoy life.

Lisa:

Helen:

Oh girls, how I understand you! I'm in the same situation myself. Married for six years, daughter three years old, the pregnancy was almost entirely in the hospital while being preserved, because this fucker constantly frayed his nerves, women called him at night, he was not shy about anything. He even raised his hand to me when I was in my seventh month. As a result, I was kept in hospital for two months with constant IV drips just to bring my daughter to term more or less. As a result, the child has atopic dermatitis all over his arms and legs, all we do is go to doctors, etc. He works, and of course I can’t go to work - I’m small and only listen to complaints about what a sheep I am, that I live at his expense and that I’m not capable of anything else except being a dependent. I dream of divorcing him, but I am financially dependent on him. There is no one to help me sit with the child so that I can go to work. I just dream that my daughter will recover and that I will have the opportunity to earn good money and leave.

Salfira:

I got married without love. I was simply afraid of remaining an old maid. And everyone around was pressing - well, when to get married, when to get married? So I came out to suit someone else’s opinion. And now I don’t have the strength to live with him. Every year the dislike for him grows. His mother is also crazy. He is afraid of her and always obeys. She means more to him than me and my son. I’ve been wanting to get a divorce for a long time, but something is holding me back, I’m afraid how to continue to live, he won’t leave me alone. He does not agree to divorce.

Alexandra:

Everyone says go away, but where should you go? Outside? If you are financially dependent on your husband, your daughter is 10 years old, has no relatives and is still 7 months old. Where to go? So you tolerate it. He constantly says that I’m not doing anything, and after such words I’m reluctant to do anything. At the beginning of pregnancy, he kicked me out of the house and constantly insults me. Now all that remains is to wait until I give birth, then another year and a half until the child is sent to kindergarten, then find a job and leave. It's just terrible to live like this! Just to withstand these two years of torment. Moreover, he understands perfectly well that I have no money now and puts pressure on this.

Elsa:

I am 40 years old. How sad everything is, I’m sitting reading the forum and in almost all the stories I see a reflection of myself. I have two small children, I am on maternity leave and completely financially dependent on my husband. I only hear reproaches and humiliations. It’s impossible to describe everything. There is only hatred for my husband in my soul! My dream is to send my youngest daughter to kindergarten and go to work, then I will definitely leave him. I want to live MY life, not his, and raise normal children. I’m writing, but there’s only one question in my head: are there any normal men in the world (loving, caring)? You read the forum and it seems that there is nothing left. I would like to wish everyone faith in YOURSELF! And then everything will work out.

Svetlana:

My story began like in a movie, complete romance. Fell in love at first sight. We met at a friend’s wedding, the next day he proposed, and 2.5 months later there was a gorgeous wedding. I moved to another city with him after quitting a prestigious job. Before the wedding, I didn’t hear a swear word from him, although I saw who I was marrying, and before the wedding there would have been swearing mainly about drinking. But I am omnipotent! I will definitely fix it! As a result, I have been living with him for 7 years, 2 wonderful sons of the same age - all the joy that I got from this d*ck. You can count your happy moments with him on the fingers of one hand. Constant drinking, partying, even in a simple conversation, not a single human word, just swearing, always busy, doesn’t help at all with children, but when I gave birth, I walked around drinking so much, as if I had given birth myself. It’s all on me, it won’t hurt me at home, I don’t even understand why I need it. I can’t leave, the apartment is jointly owned, I have no one at all, neither parents nor relatives.

Diana:

I read the stories and felt so sad. I'm in the same situation, although from the outside it may seem like I'm exaggerating. I stopped discussing this with anyone because... I hear that I’m complaining in vain. I hate my husband to the point of gag reflex, to the point of losing my mind. Married for 14 years, 20 years older than me.

I got married when he was a confident, interesting, attractive man. There were also disadvantages - excessive frugality (in fact, greed), although there were no financial problems at all. But I loved and did not betray this fact.

But the greed grew, expanded, a rare tediousness increased, a disregard for me and the child - although I beat myself in the chest, I’m earning money for you. He just didn’t spend much on us. He saved everything and put it into apartments (from the very beginning he forced me to draw up a marriage contract according to which what was bought during marriage belongs to the one who bought it). In all the years we have not had a single weekend or walk together. I’m always alone, and in the evening he comes and starts grumbling about everything I’m doing wrong, my hands are in the wrong place.

I’ve been working for a long time, it’s hard to bear everything on myself, the only thing she gives is pennies for food, the needs of a teenage child do not concern him - he yells at her, dress her in a second-hand store, don’t spoil her.

The apartment is dilapidated, the equipment is more than 20 years old, although he rents out several of his apartments and has money. I don’t invest or buy anything, why - if he constantly emphasizes that I’m nobody in his apartment. Yes, and I have no reason to give the loan, I’m trying to save at least a little change, to clothe the child, pay for the classes, and save up for the camp. He's been taking care of himself for a long time, he's got fat, he's got a belly, he's all gray. But he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t hit.

Everything seems to be fine. And so I’m next to a man who doesn’t care about us, about his appearance, about our problems and who is only concerned about how to buy another, another apartment and provide for himself in old age. In a year and a half, I will pay off the loan and be able to rent a house. Just how to live longer.

Tatiana:

Oh, girls, I read all the comments, where I cried, where I saw my life, where I laughed. I understood one thing: if you gave every woman her own corner, so that she had somewhere to go, then 90% of married couples in Russia would divorce, or even more. The only thing that keeps us close to them is financial dependence and housing. Oh, burn it all with fire!

Irina:

Girls, when they call me names, I put on headphones with music. Or earplugs. Let him yell. He doesn't see them, but I smile. And he's angry. And everything else is bad. I mean life. If only the child finished his studies. But when he gets old, oh, I’ll get even! Maybe the president should write “an apartment for every woman.” I see my own in every man. I don't even want to change.

Olya:

Dear girls! Love yourself! After all, we have one life. I didn’t marry for love, I’ve been married for seven years. I hate my husband. Not bad though. He loves the child, doesn’t spend his money on drink, but I’m so sick of him. We live like neighbors, have sex once a month, sometimes we fight and insult each other. Nobody asks for forgiveness. We live by inertia. Very often I remember my first love, I still adore him, but unfortunately he is no longer alive. And the love for him does not fade. I married my ex out of spite, now I’m suffering, but my beloved doesn’t care anymore. Only true love can forgive and endure everything. Love to you girls and true female happiness!

Elena:

I have the same situation now. We've been together for 35 years. I can't say that he's bad at all. He took me and my child, and thanks to him, my daughter has a higher education, her own house, and a car. It’s probably because of this gratitude that I lived with him for so many years. We have a common son. I was always in second place after my friends. I already understand this about girlfriends, but then I thought that he wasn’t cheating on me, I believed or wanted to believe. When we were 25-27 years old (we are the same age), we had sex for 8 years once every 2 months, and then at my insistence. I asked, maybe you have someone, why don’t you want to?, and he said that he was just tired. Then, after 25 years, I found out that at that time he had an affair and had a daughter. He, however, found out about this 2 years ago. This woman called and said that he had a daughter, they talked for a long time and I overheard, although he did not want to communicate with his daughter. Whether they are communicating now or not, I don’t know. All my life, too, I was s...y, b...lu... and all sorts of epithets were used in conversations with me, I cried. Then I got tired of it and said that when you take me off the man, then call me names, calm down, try in your own way. After all, I can’t say that he’s bad, not greedy, helps around the house (apartment) and tried to put me in a strict framework, so that no friends, just the house. But thank God, I didn’t give in and then we had good company and he walked with us. But he has no friends, only drinking buddies, that’s what I call them, because it’s just for a walk together and nothing more. And he gives his best to them, and I told him this many times and he agreed. When mobile phones appeared, I learned a lot about my husband, and then, like the last bastard, I looked through his mobile phone and I don’t regret it, because the lies were up to my ears.

There were mistresses, of course he refused and then I was everything I could be. I was reminded of both existing and non-existent sins. We didn't have sex for 5-6 years at all. In general, his natural state with me is OR both on business and without business, an explosive guy, godmothers said and his sister too - how do you live with him? Now I understand that my husband never needed me as a woman, he didn’t have a mother and he probably found one in me, and when I reminded that I was a woman and wanted affection and attention, the screaming began. I'm probably unhappy from a moral point of view, so to speak. At 45 I had a lover (I don’t regret it), I learned what it means to be desired. My husband also had an affair at this time. Everything has calmed down a bit, everyone has parted ways with everyone, but here’s something new. As they say - gray hair in the beard, devil in the rib. My darling fell in love, she is 15 years younger, unmarried, and has been in a relationship for 2 years. The village is small, I know her visually, but I don’t know how to behave with her. A year and a half ago, we were arguing about returning home late (in the morning), I told him that I knew that he had a woman, that he had a daughter, he didn’t try to get out of it and said that, yes, there is, because I’m a log, but she is super. And no one needs you now, you’ve become old. And he also said, so what, I have a daughter, I took you and my daughter, and in general this woman asked me to make her a child and I did it. Angel f... t... m..., I had no words, donor, fuck...

And then I said that for 8 years they haven’t traveled 80 km to the logs, I told him that I had a lover, I sent him for the first time in my life, you know where, and he went to the base, I thought to her, no to the base. He called his daughter and complained about me that I had sent him, to his godfathers and his sister - that we were breaking up. I found out this later, the next day. In the morning at work I thought that I had ruined my life with my own hands, but no, in the evening he came home from work, I offered dinner - he did not refuse. She said that if he has love there, then let him leave, maybe at least in his old age he will live in love, all his life he reproached me that I could not love. He said that there is no love there, just sex, he promised to quit and no longer says that no one needs me. I try to do everything as before, cook, make forays into nature, dinners with wine. Even sex appeared, but if you can call it sex, it was all problems. Later, he prescribed himself a spray for men, but did not use it with me; thanks to the Internet, I found out about this and then found it in his pocket. I squeezed out the spray, added Vaseline and red pepper from my heart, it’s a pity I didn’t find heparin ointment at that moment and put it in my pocket, but let’s have great sex with my beloved! On her birthday (again, thanks to the Internet, I found out everything about her, and then I just followed and found out where she lives). I went to her house and waited (February, north) for him to leave her and told him to make a choice, she or I.

I followed him home and said why I came there, I ruined everything myself! Again I had no words. He said, I chose, I came home for you, that means you. So, if before we had common money, now we each have our own, he stopped giving me money, and he asks me to put it on my phone and give it to the bathhouse. And I gave it until I found out that he was going to see his mistress, and after cursing I told him not to stutter about giving it. Thank God, he doesn’t refuse to help the children, he gives money; our children live far from us. In short, just as he went to see her, he still goes, tries not to linger, brings me goodies and sometimes is so fussy that I want to punch her! But I’m silent, a year ago I started collecting money on the sly from him, who knows how it will all end. So I don’t know what to do, I’m waiting... We’re getting ready to leave here, maybe everything will be better in the new place, he’s making plans for his future life with me, or maybe he’s just covering my eyes, I’m preparing a springboard in case of divorce. Although, to be honest, I can’t imagine how I’ll be alone. And what should I do??? Dear women, if you are still young and can’t stand it with your husband, get a divorce. I was always afraid of divorce, I said that it could be even worse than it is, and my friend answered me that it could be BETTER! And if your husband still beats you, then run away, your children don’t need such a father. My children saw and heard all this and said that they would support me in any situation, I hope that not just words. There is only one life and it is given only to us, so that we live it well and do not put it on the altar in front of a bad husband, we have enough problems from children, but these are our children and here we owe them, because we gave birth.

Mayana:

I read the stories and was simply horrified by our female situation. All the men are just waiting for us to find ourselves in a helpless state - on maternity leave or financially dependent, and then they soar like eagles. Conclusion, we need to change something in our consciousness. Have children only when there is some kind of safety net. For example, if a man wants a child, he will agree only after he buys and registers an apartment for his wife. Or something else, so that if something happens the woman has somewhere to go. Then they will be afraid to behave like bestials. Just for this to work, it is necessary that the entire female half be with such principles. Women, teach this to your daughters - dignity and to value themselves, not to give their lives into the hands of others. We've all been burned by this already. It is in our hands to change the consciousness of future generations through children and stop this leapfrog of broken destinies.

Olga:

We have been living for 11 years, I hate it to death, my son is the only one holding me together. Yes, affectionate, loving, but he sits on my neck and the neck of my mother, who is 65 years old, has no money and never will, and has nowhere to go, the apartment is on a mortgage.

Jennet:

Girls, many of your husbands are self-sufficient. That is, they have something to be proud of. And my second marriage also failed. The first one has a 6-year-old daughter. And for the second time I’ve been married for 4 months. And in general I understand that he is not my person. I haven’t met a normal guy or does God not love me? Let him cheat, but I would feel happiness with a normal man. He may even forget to close the refrigerator door, fail to turn off the iron, fail to close the lid of his toothpaste, and even get kicked out of work. And we sleep with him once a week, because he gets tired of sex. Girls, please tell me what should I do? Should I disappear somewhere? We live with my parents. And dad asks not to get a divorce. You see, he is disgraced because we are Muslims.

Elya:

How terrible it is in my soul... Such sadness and melancholy. There is no joy and happiness. And just a little bit is missing. We have children and are waiting for the third. Everything seems to be fine, except for the hell that I went through with him. There is resentment inside. The baby will be born soon, but I want to cry and die. It’s a pity that you can’t turn back time and be with the one you loved. I want peace of mind, I don’t know who to advise. I live like this every day, my heart cries. The soul is torn from pain. I just want confidence, to be happy, to know that only one is needed and no one else.

Marina:

I hate my husband for undeserved insults. 6 years together and the last 4 years of hell, as soon as our son appeared. He drank, he walked, he humiliated, he insulted. There were so many scandals, screams, hysterics to the point of fainting. I'm such a fool, why did I endure and endure all this? I dig deep into myself, looking for the reasons for such weakness and worthlessness. After all, I always had a strong character, I was cheerful and enjoyed life. I loved to travel, did what I loved. Why did I love him? Why did I marry him? I ruined my whole life! Now it’s not life, but complete shit. I really want to leave him and not listen to anything about myself anymore when he gets drunk, whatever the fuck. Although I have never cheated on him, he is a jealous idiot. He needs treatment. In general, it's my own fault. As my grandmother said: “You saw the little eyes that were staring, now eat, but don’t crawl out.” But the meaning is this: you saw who you married, now sit and be patient. We ourselves are to blame for everything, we chose our husbands ourselves and saw for ourselves what they are. I wish YOU and yourself to find the strength and finances to leave these bastards and start a new happy life!

Vadim:

Dear girls, I ran home from work faster, knowing that my child and wife were waiting for me at home. I bought everything I needed, gave gifts, and she said that she was going for a massage. And she went to see the man while the child and I were walking. I found out about this and immediately kicked him out. I would never allow myself to sleep with another woman.

R:

In my situation, I cannot forgive my husband... I hate him and, in principle, I can live without him, but the thought of his death, for example, kills. At the same time, every time I forgive everyone, I end up with some women either on his phone or flirting with him. In general, I am sick about this topic. I start to get angry, nervous, and depressed. I feel like I'm eating myself. I decided to file for divorce, and during the time that I lived separately from him, I seemed to calm down, at least I stopped going crazy. Then he began to get bored and ask to come back, and everything got mixed up for me again. I don’t know at all whether I want to go back to him or not, whether I love him or not, but I know for sure that I hate him and hold a deep grudge against him. Yes, and I think that even if I forget about all these thoughts, then there will be nothing left of my love for him. It’s elementary because I don’t see a future with him, he doesn’t keep his promises, he often talks about his plans and they don’t come true. He and I are different. For example, I don’t see our love only through bed, I want my husband to be an interesting person, to give gifts, no matter what... I want attention. More. But you can’t expect all this from him, he constantly makes excuses, I need to do this and that. I barely persuaded him to go to breakfast with me recently, and then I paid for it myself. I honestly don't feel sorry. But he is usually stingy with money, or maybe he thinks that I spend a lot. But in fact, I always find money, both for clothes and food, and he always has excuses... Dear, when will you buy me a ring? I already asked directly. I don’t need it at all, but he himself somehow hinted that we were married and that he would definitely buy us rings, he promised several times. And I never bought it. Purely on principle, I don’t like it when they make empty promises... And he replies, I’ll buy the money, you know that’s what I spent on, that I bought us things. Once upon a time. And all this time what were you doing? I don’t even want to use it for my BD, I gave money, though not much, but still. I felt so offended. That I also work, but I constantly buy him something and give him something. I love giving gifts. It doesn’t matter what day... But in return, like this. It hurt...

Andrey:

Girls. Well, they threw it at me. Mine said she was filing for divorce on Monday. Of course it's depressing. I didn’t buy a bedside table for 46 thousand rubles for TV. And he didn’t even promise to buy it. Now do I have to raise three daughters myself? Wine and snot bubbles. You shouted here: “All men are assholes, get away from him,” and she will get away. What am I supposed to do?

Oksana:

Hello girls. But I have this problem: my husband doesn’t hit me, but he doesn’t want to work. We live in the same house with his mother, his son from his first marriage. It so happens that I am not working now. Wherever I wanted to get a job, the schedule didn’t suit me, because my husband couldn’t cope with the children while staying at home. Because the work schedule is from 8 to 10. I didn’t go. And he doesn’t get a job and I still can’t go to kindergarten. So I went to study at pedagogical college. I will work in a kindergarten. I’ll cope with this somehow, but the worst thing for girls is something else. He doesn't want to work. We live on his mother's pension. Constant reproaches from his mother, and we have 2 children. They need to be provided for. I start telling him - I’ll find him, I’ll get a job, and it’s been like that for 5 years. There was a disgust towards him. I do not know what to do. With all this, he is 50, and I am 30 years old. I'm afraid that the further it goes, the worse it will be. I’m afraid for the children, because everything affects them, but I no longer have the strength to endure. He doesn’t seem to hit me, but sometimes he said nasty things. No matter how scary it is to listen to some of the girls, he doesn’t make me sick. Help with advice. What to do? Maybe I don't look right? Don't know. Thank you. Happy upcoming year to everyone.

Oksana:

I really want to speak out. I can’t keep all the pain in myself anymore. I hate my husband because he hits me. I used to forgive him (I thought I would change), but now that he once again raised his hand to me, I can’t forgive him. I was disappointed in men, because before him I also had painful relationships. I'm afraid if I leave him, I'll meet another goat. I do not know what to do.

If a woman realizes that her marriage is collapsing, and sincere love for her husband is turning into hatred, then it is worth analyzing this problem from several points of view. You should not make hasty decisions or succumb to conclusions drawn on emotions. In some situations, divorce is inevitable, but the wife's intention to end the relationship must be deliberate. Often the problems of spouses can be solved and thereby save the marriage.

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It is worth remembering that all difficulties that arise between two people must be resolved together. You should not put your opinion above the opinion of your spouse.

Reasons for hating your husband

Before you tell your spouse that your attitude towards him has changed, you should think about it. Sometimes the desire to insult a person arises from emotions. If the feeling of hatred manifested itself spontaneously, at the time of some kind of domestic quarrel, then you need to restrain yourself and not say too much to your spouse. Even a random word can offend a man and destroy a long-term relationship.

If hatred for her husband is constant and unchanging, and the woman understands that she is not able to endure life with this man, then she should think about divorce. The reasons may be the following:

• Treason. To forgive or not to forgive an intimate relationship with another girl is a personal matter for everyone. If a man himself admitted his act, then there is a chance that this will not happen again. If the situation reveals itself, then it is necessary to break off the relationship. Even if a man’s infidelity was discovered after childbirth, the child should not be a reason to tolerate such treatment on the part of his father.
• Betrayal. An example of a common situation: a girl becomes pregnant, and the young man does not accept her decision to leave the potential child. After an abortion, which the woman was forced to undergo because she did not want to raise the baby alone, hatred of the man awakens. The decision to forgive should be made by the girl herself, assessing the complexity of a particular situation.
• Alcoholism or drug addiction. Often people start drinking or using drugs because of family problems. You can hate an alcoholic husband for the very fact of his craving for alcoholic beverages, and for the way he behaves when drunk. It’s worth thinking about whether it might be that the wife herself provoked her husband’s addiction. It is important to support a man if the problem is psychological. In other cases, specialized medical care will help.
• Gambling. When talking doesn't help, you should try to influence your husband using other methods. Sometimes conversations with a psychologist are helpful. In other cases, the help of a specialist is not necessary, since his family - parents and other relatives - will help to reason with the husband. Very often, a marriage can be saved, so it is necessary to use all methods to combat the problem.
• Violence in family. It can be both physical and psychological. If a man infringes on a girl, puts himself above her, develops an inferiority complex in her and makes her cry, then it is necessary to break off the relationship. Even if there were no beatings before, they can appear at any moment. You shouldn’t be patient and wait for everything to get better. The relationship between two people will never be the same again.

If a marriage collapses because of the mother-in-law, then you should try to downplay her influence on the man. His mother should not be allowed to decide how to live for her adult son. In such a situation, you need to talk frankly with the person, find out his opinion on this matter, discuss the problem and make a decision. When a mother-in-law tries to manipulate her husband, it is important to let him understand this, to convey that all her actions are provocative.

Obstacles that prevent you from leaving a man

In the current situation, when a woman is trying to decide whether to save her marriage or get a divorce, it is important not to listen to anyone. The problem must be resolved within the family. Moreover, you shouldn’t expose the situation to everyone, tell everyone about how bad a man is and how difficult it is to live with him.

If the decision to end the marriage has been made, but there are some circumstances that prevent leaving the family, then it is worth analyzing whether they are really significant enough to live with the hated person. The most common:

• Children. If the husband drinks, uses drugs or gambles, then the child will not learn anything good from him. On the contrary, it is even dangerous for teenagers, as they adopt the behavior model of their fathers and mothers. There is a great risk that the son, having seen enough of domestic violence, will treat his potential girlfriend the same way. And vice versa, if a daughter sees that her mother is suffering physical and psychological violence, she is very likely to find herself in a similar situation in the future.
• Finance. A woman does not always have the opportunity to earn money to support herself and her family on her own. But if the desire to leave your husband is great, then this opportunity will exist. Living with a hated husband for the sake of money is mean both towards him and towards yourself.
• Common property. Women very often greatly exaggerate this problem. Real estate can be sold, divided, exchanged. Even life in the worst conditions is better than a marriage with an unloved person.
• Reluctance to be left alone. Many girls are ready to tolerate their spouse only because they are afraid of loneliness. But you should remember that continuing the relationship is much worse. If you don’t file for divorce now, your chance of meeting an ideal husband in the future decreases.

There are also cases when women do not hate a man, but understand that their love for him has dried up. And they are afraid to leave because of pity for their spouse, fear of the future, and reluctance to break off a long marriage. If a wife is uncomfortable around her husband, then she should not torture him and herself.

It didn't turn out as well as we would have liked. What to do? How to proceed?

Problem in the family

If people live together for some time, then it is not news that there is monotony in their lives. At first glance, everything is good and wonderful, but when you look more closely, you immediately notice that those feelings and that passion no longer exist. It’s as if they remained somewhere in a past life.

To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to periodically arrange some kind of “shake-up”. As a result, the relationship will be the same as before, and maybe even better.

In the same case, when neither spouse does anything, then feelings slowly disappear, and indifference comes in their place. But it should not be confused with hatred.

Please pay attention to any changes

If such a situation does happen in the family, then the woman perceives it much closer and more painfully. As soon as the wife notices some changes in her husband’s attitude, most often she continues to pretend that everything remains the same - she is desired and loved. And this can continue for some time. But the husband moves away more and more, and the wife simply closes her eyes and, deceiving herself, plays at the ideal marriage.

Under no circumstances should you do this. And all because after a certain period this game is no longer called a happy family, but a parody of it. And when there is complete inaction during this difficult period, the wife’s humility will not only not bring her husband’s feelings back, but, on the contrary, will alienate him even more.

If you don’t look at everything with rose-colored glasses, but pay attention to even minor changes in attitude, and at the same time analyze, then you can not only save your family, but also strengthen it. After all, when a spouse moves away, and his other half diligently tries not to notice this, it will not lead to anything good. At some point, it is safe to say that the husband hates his wife.

Factors

There are several factors that give signals that there is a crack in the relationship.

If at the beginning of their life together the spouses did everything together, the husband always listened to the opinion of his wife, then he begins to make decisions and eliminate problems, not only without consulting, but without even sharing this with her. This is the first sign that her opinion does not matter to him.

A woman should pay attention to whose interests come first for her husband. If it is him, then over time she will understand that she will no longer have the reliability and support that she had at the beginning of the relationship.

If nagging and reproaches begin, followed by irritation and indignation, then this is a sign that something needs to be changed, otherwise hatred may soon appear in your relationship.

If a husband does not respect his wife, but does not speak directly, but simply constantly criticizes her both as a woman, and as a mother, and as a housewife, you should also pay attention to this.

Particular importance can be attached to such a situation when spouses, being together, do not have common topics for conversation. And there’s nothing to say about laughing heartily at the simplest joke.

There is no need to ignore those moments when a husband does not want to just touch his wife. If this factor is ignored at the beginning, then after a while, when the spouse shows the slightest affection, she will receive nothing other than hostility and irritation in response.

It also doesn’t hurt to wonder why my loved one isn’t in a hurry to go home? It seems that everything was done for his convenience, but he would still rather meet with friends after work than come earlier.

The change in the husband's relationship with his wife is clearly noticeable when he begins to protect his personal space. At first, the woman turns a blind eye to this, always finding some kind of excuse, but rarely does anyone think about how it could all end.

The lack of sex, despite plausible excuses, must first push the woman to change something, otherwise the result can be disastrous.

You can often hear from a woman’s mouth: “My husband hates me and insults me, without thinking about how offended I am.” But few people think that perhaps she, through her actions, provokes a man to such an attitude.

Problem with ex-spouse

Even if a marriage breaks up, in many cases men are left with not just an unpleasant aftertaste, but disgust. When a representative of the fair sex says: “My ex-husband hates me, and I don’t understand why, what did I do?”

There are many explanations in such situations. After all, every family and relationship is individual.

You can consider this option when at first there is complete harmony and mutual understanding in the family, but some time passes and the wife, without feeling guilty and believing that she is right, is constantly dissatisfied with something, expresses not very pleasant things or commits unforgivable acts . The husband takes it all calmly and without scandals, trying to find a logical justification for everything. But it can't be like this for long. Inside, this negativity accumulates and accumulates, and in the end, he looks at his wife not with that loving and adoring gaze, but full of hatred.

And even after the divorce, the wife believes that she is the innocent “victim” who tried so hard. But as a result, only streams of hatred come from the ex-husband.

Another woman

There are also situations when the wife does everything possible and impossible for her husband to make him feel good and comfortable, but after a while he gets used to it and imagines that it’s like that everywhere. He begins to cheat, first secretly, and then openly, and a certain moment comes when he leaves the family.

A woman, so devoted and so caring, despite the moral pain he brought her, lets go with a pure soul and wishes him only happiness, but at the same time knows very well that even if he asks to come back, there will be no turning back.

A man who has lived with his new passion for a short period begins to understand what a treasure he has lost in the form of his ex-wife. But at the same time he believes that if he knocks back on the door, she will gladly take him back.

But when a wife refuses her ex-husband, he is first surprised by this turn of events, and then begins to get angry with her. Because he cannot morally accept that fact.

The woman, for her part, cannot understand the aggression and hatred that her former husband feels towards her. It seems like she let her go and didn’t mean any harm, but she refused to return... And she’s racking her brains over the question: “Why does my ex-husband hate me?”

The answer in this situation is very simple. He hates not his ex-wife, but himself, from the realization that she cannot forgive everything and not always, and human patience is not limitless.

When a turning point comes in family life, and a woman feels her husband’s dislike and hostility towards her, she immediately falls into a panic, asking the same question about what to do next and what to do at the moment.

Analyzing situations

In order to choose further tactics of behavior and not make things worse, you first need to analyze why this could happen.

The first thing that comes to mind is that the beloved has another woman. But what does this have to do with it if it seems that the husband hates his wife. When a man does not intend to leave the family, he often changes his mistresses, but it is not so easy for his significant other to notice this. Even if this happened, he had one answer - he wanted some kind of variety.

Perhaps the attitude has changed after the birth of the child, since, basically, the mother almost completely focuses on the baby. At this time, the spouse experiences a feeling of indignation and resentment that he is no longer given as much attention. Then he begins to attract him with aggression.

Having analyzed the current situation well and clearly, a woman must draw conclusions for herself and determine whether she wants to continue living with this person. Or the best option will be a divorce, after which not immediately, but gradually she will gain not only calmness and peace, but also self-confidence, which she so lacked in her family life.

But what should I do when a woman says that my husband hates me, but at the same time I love him and don’t want to lose him? You can try to somehow change the situation, putting a little effort and patience into it.

If, for example, a spouse works and does not have as much time for her family as she would like, and this is the reason for the spouse’s dissatisfaction, although he himself has a good salary, it is preferable for him that his wife sits at home and pays more attention to him than a career. Then, if you want to save your marriage, the only way out is to give up work.

Always be on top!

Often married women make the same mistake - they stop taking care of themselves (either they didn’t have time to wash their hair, or they didn’t have time to get a manicure), and this, in turn, pushes their husband away. Since he married an always well-groomed representative of the fair sex. To prevent this from happening, you must always remember this and do it in such a way that the spouse can not only admire, but also proudly demonstrate that this is his woman when someone else looks in her direction.

It is necessary to constantly develop spiritually and intellectually in order to always be not only a beautiful picture for your husband, but also an interesting interlocutor.

You need to try to make sure that your spouse spends his free time more often nearby, and at the same time he does not have the desire to go somewhere, for example, with friends for a beer.

You always need to find many reasons to praise your husband and say a gentle, kind word to him.

Very often in family life it happens that one of the partners does not know how to correctly express his thoughts. Then it is very difficult for the couple to negotiate and explain themselves. If a woman has such a deficiency, then she needs to express her thoughts more constructively, so that the husband understands what is being said and what exactly the wife wants to say, and is not left again thinking that once again something was left unsaid.

Often an offended spouse turns to specialists and declares: “My husband hates me.” Psychology is a subtle science. And experts in this field agreed that in such cases the most important thing is to objectively analyze family relationships and see future prospects for their continuation.

Mutual hatred

What should I do if my husband and I hate each other? The problem here is not that the feelings have become a little dull or a habit has appeared. From the very beginning of their family life, the couple did not have the emotional intimacy that lies behind love. And when the latter goes a little into the background, misunderstanding immediately appears. In this case, even the most insignificant little things lead to discontent and alienation between spouses, which accumulate more and more every day. As a result, everything that united the couple disappears.

When a woman tells her friends and family: “My husband hates me,” people give a wide variety of advice. Most believe that you should have an honest conversation with your loved one. But do this very carefully so that he does not refuse to discuss his feelings, and the attempt itself does not turn into another scandal. To do this, you need to express yourself judiciously and calmly. It is advisable to achieve this (possibly unpleasant) conversation. Then the result will be clear, the spouse will finally understand whether there is still any chance to save the family. Otherwise you will have to come to terms with reality.

Everyone should be happy!

If a girl says: “My husband hates me.” What should she do? Now the time has come for the wife to remember that she is a woman and also has the right to personal happiness. Pointless conversations and wasted energy, except for another disappointment and collapse of hopes, will not bring anything good.

It is best to let go of your spouse rather than cling to him and keep him close. After all, the feeling that he needs his wife, and that she is desired as before, will never return. And so, left alone, sooner or later a woman will find complete peace of mind, perhaps she will have a desire to build a new relationship.

A spell to help make your relationship with your spouse better

What if your husband hates you? The conspiracy will help. It is this method of solving the problem that many women trust. To perform the ceremony you will need your own wedding ring and a long birch splinter. What to do next? The splinter is inserted into the ring so that there is an equal distance on both sides. Then the edges are set on fire, and a conspiracy is read over the smoke, the words of which are as follows:

"Don't burn, fire, don't fall

My wedding rings

My wedding rings.

Fell, and burn, and pain

Heart of God's servant (name),

His white chest, his lungs and liver,

So that he can't live and breathe,

Not a day, not a minute without me,

How he wants to drive me away,

He wants to hug me so much.

Burn, torch, go, smoke.

I send sadness to my friend,

Don't remove it, don't lime it.

As said, so done.

I lock it with a padlock and close it with a key.

Be, my words, for all ages

Not removed, not cursed, not crushed,

Not interrupted or sewn.

Key, lock, tongue.

Amen. Amen. Amen".

It is necessary to extinguish the fire only when the splinter on both sides burns down to the ring itself. After this, the remaining cinder must be placed in the husband’s pocket. You need to make sure it doesn't disappear. If this happens, then repeat the ritual again.

Another conspiracy

Besides the ritual described above, when a husband hates his wife, what else can you do? Create the appearance that the woman is listening very carefully to her husband, while she looks him straight in the eyes, and says in her mind:

"Like me, servant of God (name),

I don’t want and can’t live without arms and legs,

So don’t live without me (name).

From now on forever. Amen".

Go to church

When the husband says he hates him, the wife may need to pray to avoid succumbing to depression. So that the Lord gives her strength and patience to survive all this and not do anything stupid.

Sometimes some mistresses do everything to make the husband hate his wife. They can weave intrigues and trick a man. As a result, he really has such feelings for his legal wife.

There are women who do not believe in all sorts of magical conspiracies and rituals. What should they do? After your husband begins to hate, it is best to go to church and confess. Perhaps the priest will help restore faith in life and in yourself. It will push you to the fact that life is priceless, but short and you need to enjoy it, enjoy every day, and those family troubles are a test from God, which he sent, knowing that a person will cope with it.

Let go

If a woman says: “My husband hates me, living with him is becoming more and more difficult every day,” then perhaps the best way out of the situation is to let him go. After all, in the end, two people will not suffer themselves, and they will not force anyone to suffer next to them.

If a woman complains about life and says: “My husband hates me, family relationships are going nowhere, what should I do next?...” We must not forget that there is no specific answer to this question. And the decision to save the family or, on the contrary, not even try, must be made by the spouses themselves.

It’s not for nothing that there is such a proverb: “From love to hate there is one step” and vice versa. The likelihood that, having tried to save the marriage, the spouse will be able to interest her lover, as at the beginning of the relationship, and maybe more, is very high. Then married life will continue like a permanent honeymoon.

Conclusion

Now you know what to do for a woman who feels alienated by her husband. There are many options for solving this problem. You need to choose the most optimal one for yourself. Remember that a woman should always be loved!

Connecting her destiny with another person, a woman dreams of great love, of a long life together. She will have to go through trials with joys and hardships with this person. Raise children together. Living together implies mutual respect and affection, but not hatred.

Psychologists who deal with problems of relationships between husband and wife claim that after a year of married life, many couples experience discord. This is due to the cooling of relations. Former ardent love cools down over time, it is cooled by everyday life. After all, when young people meet, they always see each other smartly dressed and in a good mood. They have fun and rejoice together.

Then everyday life begins: you need to plan a budget, run a household, take responsibility not only for your own actions, but also for those of others.

Often a wife hates her husband because he turns out to be different from what she pictured in her fantasy. The imaginary man disappears, disappears into the sidelines of family everyday life. His place is taken by an ordinary person with his weaknesses, strengths and weaknesses. Often a young wife is not ready to put up with the inconsistency of her chosen one with the invented image. The opposite situation happens no less often, when a young man becomes disappointed in his companion.

Under the best circumstances, the woman simply ceases to feel the state of being in love. She does not feel emotional uplift, the sensations from intimacy cool down. Everything becomes ordinary and uninteresting. Many girls, after several years of living with a partner, cannot state that they still love their chosen one. What remains is respect, habit, fear of the changes that will definitely come if you change your life.

By inertia, a woman continues to remain a wife, because she has a lot in common with this person: joint children, common property. Status occupies an important place in our social environment. Although today the decision to divorce is made more often and easier than 30-40 years ago. The concept of a “divorced woman” no longer evokes pity and does not require sympathy, but not everyone is ready to become one.

Often the situation comes to a point when indifference and apathy in relationships gives way to hostility, developing into hatred. Then contradictions grow in the soul, a personality conflict occurs. A woman is looking for a solution - to stay with an unloved person, because suddenly the feelings are still preserved, and everything that is happening is just temporary difficulties, or to leave the family.

You should not tolerate your husband's drunkenness and aggressive behavior. You can't live with such a person. And even in this situation, many girls do not dare to break off the relationship, citing a variety of reasons.

Hatred can come after ardent love. It does not arise out of nowhere; the cause is grievances and unjustified hopes placed on family relationships. The chosen one did not live up to them or turned out to be worse than she imagined. The girl says: I hate my husband because she doesn’t love him anymore.

Fearing condemnation in society and further loneliness, a woman often remains married to an unloved husband. It’s good if you only have to endure the absence of feelings. Many families live with this; the woman does not consider this a reason to break off relations. If a man fulfills his duties as a husband: ensures the material well-being of his wife and child, and does not forget about his paternal responsibilities, the girl will continue to live with him.

Divorce, as a rule, is an extreme measure, which is resorted to when reserves of patience are exhausted. And our women, as you know, are very patient. 31% of the female population divorces because of their husband’s drunkenness and 13% because of his infidelity. Women under the age of 50 in 68 cases out of a hundred become the initiators of divorce proceedings.

There is another inexorable statistic: the majority of divorced women after the age of 30 do not remarry or get divorced again. Only 27% of the total number of single women at 35 years old manage to find their happiness. For men, this figure is significantly higher. A divorced woman is much more likely to be alone than a divorced man. This is due to several factors: high mortality among men after 40 years of age, alcoholism, etc.

The presence of the above facts does not force a woman to stay in a marriage where she is subject to violence. If the thought: I hate my husband, what to do, is increasingly haunting, you need to decide on something. First of all, it is necessary to understand the causes of discord in the family, because hatred does not arise out of nowhere.

Marriages do not break up suddenly; the process goes through several stages. First, the spouses distribute roles in the family and fight for leadership. If the resulting alignment does not suit one of them, a game of supposed submission begins. This dissatisfaction with each other leads to mutual isolation and inability to find compromises. Everyone lives their own life and there is a high probability of a third angle appearing in the triangle. A rival leads to increased tension and hatred.

The woman blames her husband for everything, his polygamous tendencies, without even thinking that he went to the side because of the lack of joys in the family, including those of a sexual nature.

All the reasons for hatred and conflicts are hidden in the reluctance to simply sit down and discuss the problems that have accumulated in the family. The spouses do not want to hear each other and everyone is busy with their own experiences. Often the true reasons for what is happening become clear after the divorce.

Sociological studies provide disappointing facts - 64% of divorces occur due to the psychological unpreparedness of spouses to live together. When a woman claims: I hate my husband, she doesn’t know how to live on - this speaks of her or his unwillingness to give in, help and support each other.

The decision depends on many factors. If hatred is caused by the spouse’s aggression, his assault on his wife or children, the hatred will only grow. There is no point in saving the family. In other cases, you need to find out the reasons for the hostility.