That the husband is insulting. What to do if your husband constantly insults you. What to do to make your husband stop insulting you

Your beloved husband begins to hurt you: insult, scream and humiliate you. Is it possible to fix this and return everything to normal?

Every woman's dream is a friendly family, a loving husband and happy children. Every woman wants her husband to be not only a support, a protector, but also a best friend, a person who can be trusted with absolutely everything.

A woman wants her husband to become the closest person in her life, whom she will never doubt, and who will support her in any circumstances.

But, unfortunately, not all our dreams always come true. And sometimes the unexpected happens...

What to do if your husband insults and humiliates you?

If your husband began to behave in such an inappropriate way, then you need to find out what caused this. Ask yourself questions: how long ago did the abuse begin, how long does it last, and what could be the reason for this?

1. If the humiliation and screaming began spontaneously, then think about what could have influenced his behavior. Maybe he has problems at work, with friends, colleagues? Or perhaps some unpleasant events or incidents occurred? Remember everything down to the smallest detail, or try to find out somehow, because this will significantly help you understand the situation.
2. But if you couldn’t remember, and you yourself understand that all this arose quite a long time ago, then try to bring your husband to an honest and frank conversation. During this conversation, you need to find out what is the reason for his behavior and why he became so rude to you.

Perhaps your husband has been waiting for this conversation and will answer you honestly, explaining what really happened.

TOP 6 possible reasons: why did the husband start screaming and threatening?

It happens, it happens that the husband does not tell what happened to him, what contributed to his aggression towards you. Instead of a confidential conversation, you only observe screams and irritability of your spouse. If your husband insults you, you must first think about the reason for this behavior.

The reasons for this behavior can be classified in several ways:

1. Spouse's feelings, towards you, have cooled down. This can happen in every married couple. Indeed, in a series of everyday worries and problems, the couple begins to forget how much they loved, how good it was together. The husband may not understand what is really happening, and instead of rekindling the fire of love for his wife, he begins to aggressively attack his wife and blame her for everything. He may be dissatisfied with his wife’s appearance, her behavior, loss of passion and tenderness, so he expresses his dissatisfaction through insults, yelling and humiliation.
2. He has a mistress. The man doesn’t dare tell you about this. It's shameful and disgusting. He understands this himself. Yes, and I don’t have enough courage. Therefore, the husband can begin to drive his wife out by screaming, eternal discontent and humiliation. Thus, he ensures that his wife decides to leave him. And it’s as if he’s not guilty of anything, and who’s left free in the end?
3. Your husband becomes disgusted with you. Because you are always grumbling, nagging, annoying. Well, the most important thing is that you launched yourself. He then fell in love with the girl he saw for the first time: inspired, light, beautiful and well-groomed. And now they have become a simple housewife, and have probably already forgotten when they bought a sexy dress for themselves. Therefore, your husband loses respect and interest in you, and may even insult you, shout and humiliate you. He does not understand where the girl he fell in love with went to and why now he is forced to live with a completely different person.
4. Peacock man. If a man is handsome and arrogant, then there is a great danger that he will always humiliate and insult his wife. After all, she is not good enough for him, not smart and beautiful enough. And who can compare with him? Such husbands generally have mousy wives. After all, such women have low self-esteem and are constantly silent, and this provides excellent opportunities for the husband to mock his wife with impunity.
5. A man feels a woman's dependence on him. If a wife constantly looks into her husband’s mouth, remains silent and indulges his every word, then she automatically becomes his victim. In this situation, the husband can constantly insult and humiliate his wife, knowing that she will endure everything. After all, his wife is in a position that needs him. She tries not to irritate her husband again and swallows all insults.
6. He is annoyed by your total control. A husband is not a child, and your control is not clear to him and causes irritation. Especially if you encroach on his personal space: look at his phone, look for information on the computer or his notepad. Respect your loved one's personal space. You shouldn’t follow him and try to control everything. After all, such behavior can end in quarrels, shouting and insults.

Once you have found out the reason for the aggression towards you, you need to start taking action.

Psychologists advise:

1. Don't yell back at your husband or be aggressive. Keep calm. Don't be like his behavior. It’s better to tell him that you are very hurt and offended when he does this. Let him feel ashamed that he offended you.
2. Don't tell everyone about your husband's behavior. Don't take quarrels out in public. After all, if you make up soon, then these rumors may reach him, and he will again become aggressive towards you.
3. Get yourself in order. Both externally and internally. Become more confident, bolder, more graceful and beautiful.
4. Invite your husband to visit the places where it all began for you, which have become very dear to you. Let them remind you of your tender feelings, of your trembling dates and first kisses. This way you can reassure your husband and return his old feelings.
5. Review your wedding photo album, your favorite movies. Go to a concert together, unwind. Fill your relationships with positive emotions so that there is no place for insults and shouting in your life.
6. Talk to your spouse about how to eradicate the causes that cause such negative reactions. Try to find a compromise together so that this doesn't happen again.
7. Try to calm your husband down with your tenderness and affection. Tell him that you understand him, that a lot has fallen on him, that he no longer has enough strength and patience, and that’s why he became like this. Ask how you can help him, what can you do for him? Then, perhaps, your husband will understand that you are not his enemy, but that you are on his side. In this way, you will reassure your husband and be able to restore a trusting and harmonious relationship with him.

If a man does not stop humiliating you, then perhaps he feeds on your energy, and it gives him pleasure. Nothing will help here. There is only one piece of advice - leave!

What to do if your husband hits you?

The worst thing that can happen in a relationship is assault. But this, alas, also happens. What to do in this case?

• You must immediately show your spouse that this is unacceptable for you! Explain to your husband that you do not intend to tolerate this.
• Under no circumstances should you find an excuse for him. After all, by forgiving him, you will only untie his hands even more.
• After this act, threaten him with the police or tell him that you will tell your loved ones everything, you have someone to stand up for you. And kick your husband out of the house. Or leave on your own. The husband must realize all the bitterness of the act he has committed. He must understand that he cannot do this to you!
• If a husband beats constantly, then he simply needs psychological help. After all, this is already a tyrant man. He has a lot of complexes and a huge lack of confidence in himself, first of all. In this case, only a psychologist can help him figure it out. But he must come to this consciously!

If the husband is not going to change, then there is only one way out - to run away from him as soon as possible. And don’t put yourself or your child at risk anymore.

What to do if your ex-husband humiliates you?

It also happens that you seem to be already divorced, but your ex-husband humiliates you...

There may be several reasons for this:

• He has been angry with you since he was married.
• There is a lot left unsaid.
• Perhaps he regretted that you broke up and wants to get you back. But you don't accept him back, so he gets aggressive.
• If you forbid him to see the child, then the ex may begin to insult you.
• He found out that you were speaking unfavorably about him.

When you see that your ex-husband wants to communicate with the child, and you forbid him, you cause another scandal. Why do you need this? Understand him too! And give a chance to establish a relationship with the child.

Don’t say anything bad about your ex-husband, because these conversations will soon reach him and cause a wave of indignation. He was once your spouse, respect your choice. If you said something bad about your ex, and he found out about it, sincerely apologize to him so that he does not have any more reasons to insult you.

If your husband is angry about something long ago, and there are a lot of unsaid things, then bring him out for a calm conversation. Discuss everything that worries both of you, and this may be quite enough to maintain a peaceful, civilized relationship.

Well, when you can’t come to peace, then try to reduce your communication to a minimum. Or stop communicating altogether.

How to protect yourself and your children

Your child receives enormous harm from your husband’s humiliation. Children are very sensitive to parental conflicts. They let everything pass through themselves and remember it for the rest of their lives.

We think that the child does not understand anything yet and is removed from conflicts. But in fact, it is the mother who is the child’s protection and support, and when she is insulted, the baby does not feel protected either. He begins to feel fear and irritation. Subsequently, parental conflicts have a very negative impact on the child’s psyche, disrupting it.

Therefore, in a situation where a husband humiliates his wife in front of a child, the psychologist’s advice is clear - stop it immediately!

You can take the child to the grandmothers and talk to your husband alone. Find out the reason for this behavior, explain your point of view, and promise each other: not to raise your voice and no longer insult each other!

If this cannot be done, then it is possible to seek help from psychologists and attend psychological trainings. But this can only help if the husband also wants to improve. And if he doesn’t really care, and he doesn’t want to change and continues to humiliate you, then don’t injure yourself or your child - leave!

conclusions

It is necessary to understand a simple truth: the situation cannot change on its own. You need to ask yourself questions:

• How can I influence the situation?
• What exactly can I do to make my husband stop humiliating and insulting me?
• Is this my fault?

When you answer these questions sincerely, you will have the opportunity to change everything and take the right path. Yes, crying to your girlfriends, complaining about your husband, and insulting him in response is much easier, but completely to no avail.

Of course, it is necessary to speak out, but only to a loved one whom you trust and who will not tell your problems to others. Yes, and you can cry. And sometimes it is necessary, but only for a short time. After all, any situation must be corrected with specific actions.

Therefore, pull yourself together, even though it will not be easy, and start taking action. It is necessary to plan everything down to the smallest detail, you can even write down a detailed action plan. You must clearly understand and realize how you will behave in the event of another inappropriate behavior of your spouse.

If you give up and put up with this behavior of your spouse, then everything will become much worse. And you will not only lose a lot of time, but you may not be able to return to your old relationship. The situation will worsen significantly. He will understand that no one is stopping him, everything is allowed to him, so he will continue to insult and humiliate you, perhaps even in public.

Tolerate and suffer is not the answer! Is this how you want to live your whole life?

No, you deserve better! Therefore, fully understand your responsibility and start acting in the right direction. And perhaps soon your situation will change for the better, or be completely resolved.

At first I even like it. Some roughness, softened by love, gives him additional brutality and sexuality. But now the candy-bouquet period is over, you have turned into a family, and it turned out that now your husband has begun to be rude much more often and is no longer at all shy in his expressions, even in front of friends. Your admiration was replaced first by indifference, then irritation. Something needs to be done - otherwise it will only get worse.

Now he’s already yelling at you, starting to swear for no reason and joyfully noticing your slightest mistakes. In fact, he also harms himself - after all, negative emotions have never benefited anyone. But your life together turns into the first circle of hell, and what happens can destroy your personality.

If he breaks the sets and guts the pillows...

My husband is rude, how should I behave in this situation? I can't stand it. If he asserts himself at your expense, even if he is loved at least three times, you need to answer. For example, a mental exercise will help. You need to imagine that you are covered with a steel dome, and all its impacts fly off from this dome, like tennis balls from a table.

Why is your husband rude to you? Usually the reason is in the past, most likely in childhood - he was often humiliated and offended, and therefore now he does not know any other method to restore self-respect. He can rise himself only by putting others down.

At the same time, he often refers to psychology: they say that it is harmful to accumulate negative emotions inside, they need to be thrown out. Here he is destroying furniture or breaking plates.

Here pseudopsychology can be answered with real psychology. Tell him that there is no point in taking out anger on foreign objects - the cause of negative emotions remains unpunished, and this only increases stress. For example, everyone knows that many Japanese have boss dolls and beat this doll up in vain.

But the effect of this is very doubtful. Studies have shown that usually, after beating up their boss, hot Japanese guys remain even more agitated, and many experience increased blood pressure and other bad symptoms. So much for Japanese action psychotherapy!

If the husband is rude because he so needs to calm down through muscle activity, then jogging will be much more effective - about five, or better yet ten, kilometers, or even just a long walk. Prayer helps true believers - but there are an absolute minority of them in our society. But in general, of course, it is already somewhat late to teach him to cope with anger - people develop these skills in early childhood.

But if it’s too late to re-educate, and a man increasingly offends and insults in word, and sometimes in deed (for example, by throwing something heavy) - then what to do? How to stop a husband from being rude to his wife? A set of simple tips will come in handy here.

• Don't try to re-educate him. Let him be the way he was born and the way he was raised.
• Say “thank you” more often for his advice and opinions - valuable and even not so valuable. Promise to think and take note. Thus, on the one hand, you avoid insults and scandals, moving the conversation in a constructive direction, but on the other hand, you do not bend, communicating as equals.
• Know that rude people have a very subtle sense of distance and readiness to fight back at any second. Keep in mind that boors respect inner strength and willingness to resist. At the same time, you don’t need to switch to his boorish language - on the contrary, your strength is in politeness. But no one is allowed to insult you. The legal wording will come in handy: “Everything you say can later be used against you.” Of course, with the voice recorder turned on, which is now available on any smartphone.
• There is no need to organize boycotts and games of silence - keep talking. For all his rudeness, he wants to be necessary for you - give him this opportunity.
• Don’t forget to pause in your speeches - this way he will understand more, and the weight of your requests and wishes will increase. And after your long emotional monologue, it is better to leave the room under any pretext - a good way to avoid a meaningless scandal.
• Watch your “altitude” while talking. When you are sitting and he is standing, an equal conversation is unlikely to happen. It is better to rise slowly, leveling the altitude and position in the dispute.
• There is no need to scold him or yell when he does this - but turning up the volume a little is acceptable. It's enough.
• Strive for clarity. Find out what exactly he is dissatisfied and angry with, what he really strives for.

Learn to give a “click on the nose”

If your husband has become rude, how to survive this? It is very important not to play his game, stooping to retaliatory insults. This is pointless - he will still beat you in the competition of throwing slop on your head, and besides, he will make you guilty. The “mirror” does not work here, especially if you are a soft person by nature. School option b, “I’ll call my older brother,” is more likely to come in handy. Anyone can act as a brother - a father (yours or his), a boss, a head of human resources.

Of course, you don’t need to provoke him into scandals and exchange of insults. However, what should you do if your husband begins to be rude with unenviable regularity? There is only one way out - “click on the nose.” Alas, sometimes you can’t do without tough measures. If you want peace, prepare for war.

How to put a rude husband in his place? The basic principle is simple, as with a child: for one offense there is exactly one punishment - and in a timely manner. There is no need to accumulate grievances and then respond with terrible punishment. And you can’t be late: if after the “crime” all reasonable statutes of limitations expire, it’s better to just forget about them.

And even after a serious offense, do not use love as punishment. Screaming: “I hate you!” - the last thing. Be offended, or, conversely, be indifferent, but do not cross the dangerous line. Do it better like at work: deprive of “bonuses” and “prizes”.

And the “answer” should not be cruel or humiliating - in this case you will not see an understanding of your mistakes, only bitterness. Your most important weapon is icy calm and inner confidence. This is the best way to make it clear that no one is allowed to yell at you.

• abruptly interrupt the conversation by going to another room, not forgetting to close the door - let him calm down;
• do not respond to boorish antics. He will get tired of screaming into the void, and he will find someone more emotional and pliable;
• predict explosions in advance and engage in prevention, leading the conversation to calm topics that are not fraught with scandals;
• call on authorities for help (from his point of view). For example, if he is a "mama's boy," you could say, "You think your mom would like to hear you hysterically?";
• invite him to contact someone who will help him. This could be a faithful friend or father, a priest or a psychologist - or anyone;
• use humor and irony as defense and at the same time attack.

But there’s one more piece of advice you shouldn’t follow – even though it appears regularly in women’s magazines. Namely, transfer your thoughts from bad to something more pleasant, and not think about the critical situation. It doesn't happen like that! If, in the midst of a quarrel, you invite him, for example, to watch your wedding video, he will most likely twirl his finger at his temple - and he will be right. But even if he really switches, it will only be a temporary improvement in his mood - and after half an hour he will start yelling again.

But the most important thing you can’t do is just suffer in silence, endure everything for the sake of your loved one, accepting the role of a victim - the policy of appeasement did not work with Hitler, and it will not work with your husband.

And even more so, you cannot be the first to kneel after a scandal and admit that you are wrong. So you will only strengthen his sense of impunity and help him turn into a real monster.

Why is a husband constantly rude to his wife? Many people ask themselves this question. But the answer is simple - the reason is inside him, it is he who does not know how to control his anger. And anger can be caused by problems at work, a quarrel with parents - or anything at all. You just get your portion because you are nearby. So there is no need to blame yourself for his rage and engage in self-criticism. Just learn to deal with it calmly and everything will work out.

Let's immediately say that problems happen in any family, regardless of the age of the spouses, their financial situation, the number of children and place of residence. Of course, each nationality differs in its views on the family structure, and what a European woman sees as an infringement of her rights, a woman will perceive as a justified “ownership” of her husband. But, fortunately, Domostroy has long since sunk into oblivion, therefore, in the field of interpersonal (including love) relationships, we will be guided only by such concepts as a civilized approach to any problem.

Emotionality or gaps in education?

Husband offends, allows himself to be incontinent in his expressions? Observe how communication occurs in his family. Do his parents talk calmly among themselves, do they know how to listen to their interlocutor? All communication problems come from childhood. If husband calls names wife, if parents constantly communicate in a raised voice, the child simply will not be able to behave differently in society. For him this is, he simply does not know that there may be other behavior scenarios.

Husband offends? This is not yet a reason to panic. You love this man, you married him, you were going to give birth to his children. Show your beloved man that you can communicate on a completely different level, without raising your tone, without nagging and rude expressions.

Husband offends, allows yourself to be tactless - under no circumstances respond in kind. Tell him in response that you love him very, very much, that he is the most wonderful, hardworking, strong (the list of qualities can be continued indefinitely!). And, kissing him on the cheek, tactfully hint that you are unpleasant when such a superman behaves inappropriately. Men are no less sentimental and responsive than women, and your affection will definitely cause a response from him. In addition, you quickly get used to everything good and, having appreciated all the charm of a gentle, respectful relationship, without rudeness and barbs, the man will most likely change.

Of course, each case must be considered separately. Expressiveness in behavior and harshness in words can be explained by a person’s character. The classification according to the type of emotional response (phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric) has not yet been canceled. Maybe you just think that husband offends you - in fact, due to his character, he simply behaves a little differently than you are used to. Try to understand him and not be offended over trifles - women have always been distinguished by tolerance and the ability to “feel” another person, especially a loved one, on an intuitive level.

When to put it in place

Another question is if husband offends constantly, allowing yourself to say barbs or even insults to you, despite persuasion and admonitions. Husband calls me names and shows his superiority in every possible way? It's time to take drastic measures! But don’t get into a fight right away, don’t react violently to every unpleasant word. Wait, remember all the complaints that he expresses to you. Everyday showdowns unnerve men and only provoke them more. Maybe he, discouraged by your calm reaction, will stop his grumbling, realizing its meaninglessness and worthlessness (this also happens). If this does not happen and husband calls names, continues to be rude as before - pull yourself together (you must be calm and one hundred percent confident that you are right) and say a “sacramental” phrase that has an equally depressing effect on all men: “Darling, I need to talk to you seriously!” .

In a calm tone, without stooping to insults, express to your “darling” all your grievances and complaints that you have been keeping to yourself for a long time. Don’t miss a single detail - let him know that you remember all the offensive words that he allowed himself to say to you.
Emphasize that only the desire to maintain a normal environment in the family kept you from the temptation to throw a scandal. You, unlike him, can control yourself and not nag your loved one for a minor reason.
Tell him about all the details that irritated you in his behavior, sort out his character and demonstrate all his weaknesses. Stop attempts to object or convince you immediately - you have been silent for so long, hoping that he himself will understand the absurdity of his behavior.
Clearly explain to the “handsome guy” that he has no right to reproach you - he himself is far from the image of an ideal spouse. You love him, despite all the shortcomings, and you want it to be mutual. You could respond to his barbs in a way that would hurt him, but playing on the pride of a loved one is the very last thing.

We guarantee that your monologue will have a sobering effect on your husband and will make him take a fresh look at some things. But it’s not a fact that you will immediately and irrevocably change a man. If after some time everything returns to normal, follow the above scenario again. Just before the second conversation, emphasize that you hoped for his prudence and ability to understand everything the first time. But if this does not happen, he will have to once again carefully listen to everything you want to say.

Husband offends, calls names, tries to demonstrate his superiority at every opportunity? Explain that such behavior is unacceptable. And don’t forget to remind him of your love - in most cases this works better than any persuasion.

Svetlana Krutova
Women's magazine JustLady

Of course, you can start insulting your husband in return. But this is the most destructive way out of the situation, which will only worsen it. Moreover, mutual insults are just an avoidance of solving the problem.

If your husband begins to constantly insult and humiliate you, you may show indifference.
But this solution to the problem is suitable for you if your husband’s insulting words really bring you pleasure. However, if you continue to ignore your husband’s humiliations, then over time you will accept these insults as the norm of communication in your family. This type of behavior will only delay the solution to the problem of humiliation.

In our opinion, the most constructive and effective thing you can do if your husband insults you is to take action.

Possible reasons for husband insults

First, you need to think about the possible reasons for the change in your husband's behavior. However, one man should not be blamed for such treatment. Surely at some point you yourself allowed your husband to address you in an insulting manner.

A very common reason for insulting a husband can be the example of his parents’ relationship or his upbringing.

The more you live together, the more often your husband may feel that his living space is being encroached upon. And since men are by nature more aggressive than women, some of the wife’s prohibitions, for example on meeting with friends, can cause such inappropriate reactions as insults and humiliation.

Another reason for insults and humiliation of a husband may be the young age and inexperience of both spouses.

A young husband, especially if it is a very early marriage, begins to realize that he has not yet had time to enjoy a free life. The husband expresses his dissatisfaction and regret by insulting and humiliating his wife.

It's no secret that men can “twist themselves” no less than women. Any “inconsistencies” can provoke a husband to jealousy

And have no doubt, your husband will come up with a story about your betrayal and believe it himself. But instead of clarifying the relationship openly, he will pester you with insults and humiliation. Men who are dissatisfied with their marriage or their lives in general often prefer not to talk about what bothers them, but to harass their wife with humiliation and insults, taking their anger out on her.

You cannot tolerate such treatment, but you can try to reassure your husband and explain to him that his words only worsen the situation and do not help solve the problem.

What to do if your husband constantly insults and humiliates you?

• Discuss with your husband the reasons for his behavior. Ask him to explain why he humiliates you, and tell him how unpleasant it is for you to hear insults.

• There is no need to reproach him or cause a scandal. So you definitely won’t get anything from your husband.

• There is no need to raise your voice, much less humiliate him in response. Say that you would like to talk calmly, that the insults really upset you.

• If it’s simply not possible to move on to a constructive dialogue now, then try to ignore your husband’s insults, or even leave the room so that everyone can calm down and not allow them to offend you further.

• If your husband does not want to talk to you except in a raised tone, insulting you, you should not continue communication. Respect yourself, don't let him communicate with you this way.

• Continue the conversation only when he behaves normally with you. But you shouldn’t delay the conversation; the sooner you understand the reason, the sooner you’ll figure out what to do next. Maybe he's just jealous of you, and you need to destroy his stupid speculations as quickly as possible.

• In addition to the conversation in which you will try to find out the reason for your husband’s insults, you also need to pay attention to his reaction. Perhaps he becomes aggressive and tyrannical.

• Calmly find out from your husband, maybe you hurt his feelings or offended him in some way? In this case, the problem can be solved by changing your behavior and explaining to your husband that it is better to replace insults with simple and calm phrases about what does not suit him.

• Try to take into account your shortcomings and change your own behavior. And in return he must promise to replace offensive insults with simple, understandable and calm phrases in the future.

• Let him explain what exactly doesn’t suit him. Perhaps you are forbidding him something, and he is simply trying to protect his territory, using insults and humiliation. Try to limit it less, because you also want to have the right to meet friends and go shopping?

What else can you do if your husband humiliates you?

• Try to eliminate the causes of conflicts in the family.

• Does your husband like a perfectly clean house? Try to wash the dishes and vacuum before he arrives.

• If your spouse still returns to insults, try to gently explain that he offended you.

• Make him feel guilty.

• The last resort is to leave. Just tell your husband that you are very tired of his insults and invite him to take a break from each other.

It happens that your husband’s behavior does not have any objective reasons, he lashes out at you for no reason, and in response to all the questions “why are you talking to me like that?” replies “yes, because you’re a fool!”, there’s no point in trying to save the family.

After all, if your husband behaves this way all the time, insults you in front of your child, then the child will absorb this style of behavior in the family and will consider insults and humiliation normal.

Don't look for the culprits, accept the situation as it is, especially if your husband does not change after your long conversations, and his behavior only worsens, then no one can guarantee you that your husband will stop only with insults, and may even end up with assault.

Maybe you should think about breaking up the relationship. Allowing your husband to morally mock himself for the sake of preserving a family in which there is no longer any love, or even human respect on his part, is not worth it.

It is worth fighting to save the family by trying, and even more than once, to change your husband’s attitude towards you and his behavior, but if all your actions are in vain and your husband shows open tyranny towards you, believe that the best way out is to separate.

Women often have the question of what to do if their husband constantly insults and humiliates them; the advice of a psychologist in this situation will help to cope with the problem. When getting married, a woman wants to be loved, create comfort in her home, give birth to and raise worthy children. But it happens that a person who was dear yesterday turns out to be a monster, with curses constantly flying from his lips.

The wife feels humiliated, tries to find flaws in herself, eliminate them, treat her husband more kindly, but this does not work. Humiliation and insults continue to pour from his lips, often the situation comes to the point of assault.

She should take it and leave, but the children are already growing up, and her husband is still beloved. What to do in such a situation, forgive and wait until he comes to his senses and changes, or pack his things and leave the inhospitable home?

Love without guarantees on the part of a man humiliates and insults a woman.
Sunday Adelaja

Reasons why a husband humiliates his wife

Here are the main reasons why a husband may insult and humiliate his wife:

• His warm feelings for his wife have already passed, but love needs support, the feelings themselves gradually cool down, and a moment of cooling occurs for any couple. If you try to strengthen the relationship during this period, it will be restored, but both spouses must work. If this stage doesn’t mean anything to any of them, problems are just around the corner.
• The husband took a mistress. In this situation, it is more convenient for him to humiliate and insult his wife in order to force her to leave first and file for divorce. This is how a man unties his hands and frees up territory for new relationships in which he has already plunged headlong.
• The man no longer has respect for his wife. There are several reasons, one of which is the wife’s maternity leave. During this period, many ladies do not take care of themselves, they are busy only with the child and do not give their husband the attention he requires. His wife is just annoying him now.
• The man's self-esteem is very low, in this way he raises her, humiliating the woman.
• The woman herself treats her husband with disrespect, completely controls him, constantly asks where and why he went, when he will be home, rummages through his phone, rummages through things, rummages in his pockets.
• The woman is afraid of making the situation even worse, so she silently tolerates the man’s indecent behavior. Among the main reasons: she has nowhere to go or she is heavily dependent on him financially.

The psychologist's advice is simple: if this happened for the first time, then you need to calmly ask your husband not to talk to her in that tone again, otherwise the “conversation” will have to be stopped. The reasons for rudeness on the part of the husband can be anything, but he must control himself, so you should not react silently to his offensive expressions.

You can tell your husband about feelings, about love, that such words hurt the soul and are very unpleasant. Communicate that you can change something, change yourself, but together, and if there is a problem, it needs to be voiced tactfully, and find a way out together.

It happens that a husband does not want to react in any way to his wife’s words, does not want to change anything about himself, then this is a reason for a woman to think about whether she needs exactly such a relationship, and what more radical measures she is ready to take.

But when the question of what to do is acute, if the husband constantly insults and humiliates, then this may be a temporary or permanent separation - divorce.

If you only hear insults from your husband, will it be better later?

The reason may not be immediately noticeable, and the woman will never change the way he wants. The couple has been married for several days, but the wife has not gotten any worse, she has children and she takes care of them. In such a situation, the reason lies in the husband himself.

He may be dissatisfied with himself, his own career, salary, and the team may not like him. But he doesn’t want to look for the reason in himself, change himself, correct the situation; it’s much easier to have a blast at home with his wife. A wife can point out to her husband his own mistakes and failures, but there is no way out, you can only aggravate the situation, make him angrier.

There are two steps you can take:

1. Pack up and leave it.
2. Wait until he realizes the reason on his own. But in this case, you can waste many years to no avail.

If he has reached the point where he can humiliate his wife in front of strangers, in front of the children, then the situation will not get better. It is convenient for him to solve his own psychological problems in this way. You will have to either endure it or take radical measures, that is, leave him.

A man wants to feel superior to the victim; if you don’t stop this, you may no longer remember your own name in the future, and he will call you whatever you want, and it’s always offensive. If, when trying to change the situation in this case, the husband does not draw conclusions, there is no need to call him names in response, he will not change.

What to do if your husband hits you?

He believes that she herself is to blame, she brought it on. He had a hard day at work, and she was on hand. Or you had a nice conversation with your neighbor, get it! There's no point in flirting.

Some men regard beating as a last resort to “convince” their wife that she is behaving incorrectly from his point of view. You can find fault with everything, even if you didn’t hand out the slippers at the doorstep correctly. Unfortunately, such behavior of men has been justified for centuries, but today a marriage takes place between equal people, and not subordinates to one another!

Is male authority really earned through beatings, and this is male wealth? But often the cause of violent behavior is alcohol; it causes aggression for which there are no motives. You need to think about whether you want to live with an alcoholic in the future? The solution is obvious.

The man suffers from an inferiority complex, his career is at zero, he has achieved nothing, neither a position in society, nor a decent salary. A person who has not succeeded anywhere wants to feel like a ruler at home. If a wife tries to show independence, she will be severely punished, especially if she is higher on the career ladder and has an income that exceeds her husband's earnings.

There is no need to look for reasons for beating your husband; he will find fault with everything. And he often raises his hand against children, crippling them mentally and physically. According to statistics, tens of thousands (about 50,000) children run away from home every year to escape parental beatings and bullying.

Approximately 2,000 children attempt suicide every year. A huge number of children are sent to a juvenile colony for the murder of their father, from whose violent behavior they saved their mother or saved themselves. And for a woman to maintain such a relationship is already a crime against her own children.

• It’s stupid to think that your husband will come to his senses overnight - he won’t change.
• You should not show affection, care and love in response to humiliating words; you should not expect a positive result from such behavior.
• There is also no need to insult in response, it is the wrong tactic.
• There is also no need to satisfy your husband’s whims without desire.
• It is impossible to re-educate an adult without his own desire.
• It is impossible to think that such relationships in a family are the norm, it is not so.

Conclusion

If a woman is already wondering what to do if her husband constantly insults and humiliates, then the relationship has suffered a deep crack. But if he has even reached the point of assault, and does not hesitate to do it in front of the children, then there is only one way out: to leave. This way you can preserve the physical and mental health of your children, your own health, and sometimes even your life.

Dear women, what do you think, is it possible to forgive and not notice such behavior of a husband, if so, to what extent, and if not, then when should measures be taken?