Does a child need to go to kindergarten? How to send your child to kindergarten - step-by-step instructions What you need to send your child to kindergarten

Does my child need to go to kindergarten? They say that children from home have a very difficult time adapting to school because they are not used to being in a group environment.

Until recently, it was believed that kindergarten was a truly necessary link in the development of every child. And indeed, “home” children often had difficulty adapting to school rules, to the rules of communication accepted in the peer group. Perhaps, these difficulties were explained primarily by the fact that there were very few such children; the overwhelming majority were “kindergarten” children. Often, children moved in whole groups from the “yard” kindergarten to the same “yard” (that is, in the neighborhood) school. And if a child who spent the first seven years of his life under his mother and grandmother’s wing ended up in the same class, he, of course, had a hard time.

Today the situation is different. Children who have never attended kindergarten are no longer exceptions. In addition, the very concept of “kindergarten” these days is not as clear as before. In addition to the standard state kindergarten, there are a number of other options for “employment” of a preschool child. So children come to first grade with a wide variety of “baggage”: some went to a regular kindergarten, some went to some Development Center, and some even stayed at home with a nanny.

And now, timid at first, but gaining strength, the voices of those who took it upon themselves to assert that “home” children were no worse than “kindergarten” children began to be heard. Of course, there are exceptions everywhere, but, in general, a child raised at home, and not in an “institution,” may well be as developed, independent, proactive and sociable as a kindergarten student. Another thing is that for this, parents must not just “keep” their precious child at home, but work on developing all these qualities in him.

What exactly does attending kindergarten give a child? First of all - opportunity to communicate with peers, inclusion in a group. You may be a staunch individualist, withdrawn and uncommunicative, but you need to remember: From about the age of three (and definitely from four years old!) the child needs to communicate with other children. And you must provide him with this opportunity.

Of course, in kindergarten, a child learns to communicate not only with other children, but also with adults. Until school age begins, parents, of course, remain the only truly authoritative adults in a child’s life. But the experience of communicating with teachers in kindergarten helps the child in the future to avoid difficulties in establishing relationships with school teachers. The baby learns that in addition to his mother, there are other adults whose opinions need to be listened to, and sometimes simply obeyed.

Naturally connected with this point is another: In kindergarten, the child gets acquainted with certain rules of behavior and learns to comply with them. The word “discipline” evokes a rather negative attitude among many of us, since it is associated with the “equalizing” drill adopted in kindergartens and schools of the Soviet era. But if we ignore these associations and understand by the word “discipline” simply the ability to adhere to the necessary rules of human society, then we must admit: these skills are necessary for the child.

Finally, In kindergarten, the child receives opportunities for intellectual and physical development. Strictly speaking, the standard educational programs adopted in state kindergartens leave much to be desired: in many ordinary kindergartens there are not enough classes, and they are far from being conducted at the highest level. “Kindergarten” education alone is not enough for a child. In any case, parents should work with the baby themselves. But if a “home” child spends whole days exclusively in front of the TV screen, then in kindergarten he, of course, will receive incomparably more. Drawing, modeling, design, speech development, music classes and physical education - this minimal “gentleman’s set” will be provided by the simplest state kindergarten. If you are lucky and you find a really good kindergarten (there are also state-run ones) with a good, extensive program, you can count on your child being truly interested there.

Can I provide my child with all the conditions necessary for his harmonious development at home, without sending him to kindergarten?

In principle, this is possible. But only if you are really ready for this very, very serious work. The most difficult thing in home education is, perhaps, not the intellectual or physical development of the child. It is in these areas that a caring and educated mother can give her child much more than classes in kindergarten. It is much more difficult to create for a child all the necessary conditions for social development.

We have already talked above about the main advantages of kindergarten: the child gets the opportunity to communicate with peers and with adults other than parents, learns to behave “in society”, and to follow the rules. And if you do not want to send your child to kindergarten, you need to think carefully about how exactly you will provide your child with these opportunities.

A “home” child should spend a lot of time on playgrounds, playing with other children. In addition, it is very desirable to provide him with some kind of permanent friend of the same age - or better, several friends. You need to take him to visit and invite other children to your home.

This task is quite feasible. But we must not forget about another important point - the child’s communication with adults. It's no secret that women who prefer to stay home with their children until it's time to go to school often have a heightened sense of parental duty and a desire to be ideal mothers. Some rather unfavorable consequences follow from this laudable desire: such mothers are almost always convinced that they simply do not have the right to entrust their precious baby to someone else (and the category of “strangers” often includes all other people, including their closest friends , and grandparents).

If you do not send your child to kindergarten because you do not trust the teachers and believe that no one but you will be able to treat the child correctly and find the right approach to him, you urgently need to change this point of view! Of course, the child cannot be given away to the first available hands. But you can’t limit his world only to your own person either. You need to understand that the child needs experience communicating with other adults besides the mother- even if this mother really is the best in the world!

If you don’t want to send your beloved child to kindergarten, send him to some club, section, or play group. Agree with one of your friends that from time to time your child will spend the day with her. The best thing is if among your friends there are young mothers like you. You can create a “visitation schedule”, taking turns hosting other children. Let your private “kindergarten” “work” only a few hours a day, at least a couple of times a week: this will already bring great benefits to the kids. They will learn to communicate with each other, and little by little they will get used to the fact that sometimes it is not only their mother who has to obey.

Suitable age: does it make sense to send your child to a nursery?

The most optimal age for going out into the world is four years. Yes, yes, no less! And please, try not to listen to the persistent advice of experienced grandmothers who are always ready to explain to us that “the sooner the better - the sooner you get used to it”! Because it's not true.

A one-year-old toddler, of course, can “get used” to the fact that for some reason his beloved mother has been replaced by someone else’s, not very affectionate aunt. To get used to it means to resign yourself and suffer in silence, reacting to stress “only” with frequent colds and other illnesses, bad mood, and decreased interest in the world around you. Such passive resistance is far from a trifle; it has a very negative impact on the further emotional, intellectual and physical development of the baby.

Today, most nurseries accept children only from one and a half years old. But this is also extremely early! One and a half years is the age when the so-called separation anxiety is just beginning to subside. Simply put, the baby is still too strongly attached to his mother and reacts very painfully to her absence, as well as to the appearance of strangers, especially if they try to get too close to him.

It’s no secret that “disadvantaged” children, that is, those who are not doing well at home, adapt best to nurseries. Kindergarten teachers know this very well. They sadly talk about the fact that in each group there are one or two kids who do not want to leave kindergarten in the evenings: parents come, call from the threshold of the group, and the child... turns his back, hides behind a shelf with toys. And the point here is not at all that the baby “played too much”, was too carried away by some of his important baby affairs.

For a one-and-a-half-year-old toddler, meeting his mother, the opportunity to cling to her tightly and not let go is the most important thing, by definition, due to age characteristics. Beginning at this age, the fear of unfamiliar adults gradually smoothes out, but does not completely disappear for quite some time (although different children differ greatly in this from each other). Interest in other children awakens in children only by the age of three. At the same time, at first they are drawn to older comrades, then they begin to be interested in those who are younger, and only last of all do they pay attention to their peers.

So, A nursery for one and a half years can be justified only by the most extreme necessity. Before you decide to send your child to a nursery, you need to go through all the possible options that allow you to leave your baby at home. Look for home work, try to negotiate with mothers you know that you will take turns “shepherding” your children. Believe me, there are no hopeless situations and, if desired, you can always find some alternative to a nursery.

It is a little easier for a two-year-old child to get used to the nursery. The general rule remains the same - early! But there are already quite a few exceptions to this rule. By the age of two, a child can really be very sociable, and if the kindergarten (especially the teachers!) is good, the child may like it there. In any case, you can try to take your child to a nursery if you are already convinced that he is not afraid of other children and adults, has the necessary self-care skills (knows how to use a potty, can feed himself), and experiences your absence without much suffering.

At the same time, you must observe the behavior, mood of the baby, and his state of health. If you see that your two-year-old is having difficulty adapting to the nursery, under no circumstances insist or persist in your intention to accustom him to the “institution” right now. The saying “if you endure it, you fall in love” does not work in this case! The negative experience of visiting a nursery will have an impact in the future: in a year or two, when “home” children come to the group and adapt to the kindergarten without any problems, your baby will still perceive the kindergarten as a place of imprisonment, will often get sick, cry in the morning and in the evenings.

In our case, the following folk wisdom applies: “The miser pays twice.” By sending a two-year-old to nursery who is not ready for it, you will gain nothing. Going to work will result in regular sick leave. It is much wiser to spend your time wisely: gradually, without haste, but persistently and consistently prepare your baby for kindergarten. This “investment” of your time and your care will pay off in full. This may sound banal, but still: what could be more valuable than the health of a beloved child - both physical and psychological?

Some mothers send their two-year-old children to nurseries not because they really need to go to work, but for “pedagogical” reasons: they say, in the group the child will be taught to be independent, he will develop faster, etc. Yes, talking all day long with other people’s aunts and being only one of fifteen to twenty of the same toddlers, your child will probably learn to hold a spoon and pull up his pants faster than his “at-home” peers. But is this really important in itself? At home, he also learns independence, masters all these necessary everyday skills - but how could it be otherwise? This, of course, requires your attention, your work and your patience.

Let's be honest. When bringing a child to a nursery, we cannot even dream of some kind of individual approach, respect for the child’s personality, etc. Things are better with kindergartens, but nurseries cannot in any way be considered a place useful for the child.

Both the age characteristics of a two-year-old child and the quality of our nurseries, in general, lead to the following conclusion: wait, don’t rush! It has been proven that nursery students are often later characterized by less initiative in decision-making, since activity and emotionality are largely established in the first years of life.

Note to mom

A child who does not adapt well to a nursery or kindergarten does not necessarily demonstrate this clearly. He can behave quite obediently and even submissively, expressing his experiences in some indirect way. The most common form of passive resistance in toddlers is frequent colds.

But there are other points that you definitely need to pay attention to. This is sleep, appetite, the child’s behavior at home in the evenings, after kindergarten. In the first time after starting to visit a nursery or kindergarten, such “delights” as decreased appetite, difficulty falling asleep and even crying at night, domestic whims and a somewhat depressed or irritable mood can be considered “normal”. But if after three to four weeks the situation does not improve, we can say that the child is not adapting well to kindergarten or nursery.

In this case, it is advisable to save the child from attending kindergarten for the next year, and if this is completely impossible, try to soften his traumatic situation: leave him in kindergarten only for half a day, give him an additional day off in the middle of the week, look for a kindergarten or nursery with fewer children in Group.

These recommendations may not seem very realistic. However, the experience of many mothers shows that they can be done if desired. And the efforts are justified, because as a result you preserve the mental well-being of the child, and therefore your own.

At what age is it best for a child to go to kindergarten?

We have already begun to answer this question. Let us repeat once again: most psychologists today consider four years to be the optimal age, and three years to be quite acceptable. By the age of three, the child is no longer afraid of being left without his mother for some time, begins to be interested in communicating with other children, and has self-care skills. But he will only truly enjoy playing with his peers when he is closer to four years old.

The ideal option is to gradually, without haste or presenting strict demands, begin introducing your child to kindergarten at three to three and a half years old. First, take him for walks with the kindergarten group, then leave him in kindergarten for half the day.

If it quickly turns out that the child does not mind spending time in a new environment, you can move on to a regular visit to kindergarten. If the baby does not express any special enthusiasm, there is nothing wrong with the fact that until the age of four he will attend kindergarten according to a “gentle” regime.

Don't worry about him falling behind his peers in some way. The main thing is that after three years he does not remain in a confined home space, alone with his mother or grandmother, but gradually expands the boundaries of the familiar world.

Note to mom

Here is a very important, albeit purely “technical” warning. All the advice given by psychologists, authors of various books and manuals (including the author of this article) regarding kindergarten is somewhat theoretical. Smooth, soft and unhurried adaptation to kindergarten is an ideal to which one can strive. But in reality, unless you have sufficient financial resources to enroll your child in a private “family” kindergarten (and most of us do not have such opportunities), be prepared for the fact that life will make adjustments to your ideal scheme.

And the first thing you will encounter is the queue. Yes, yes, the good old queue at kindergarten from the time of your own childhood. Just seven or eight years ago, mothers could really slowly move from one kindergarten to another, compare and choose the one that was better.

The birth rate in the country was low, kindergartens were empty and closed, and those that remained afloat were ready to accept almost everyone, regardless of registration in the desired microdistrict. (Nurseries, by the way, have always remained overcrowded, but there are much fewer of them than kindergartens.) Today there are more children, but the number of kindergartens has decreased - precisely in those “childless” years. And you need to register for the simplest, “yard” kindergarten at least a year before the child goes there. With the same gardens that are especially popular in your area, you can safely start “making friends” even during pregnancy.

In recent years, this practice has become increasingly common. At the age of two, the child is sent to a nursery, he gets used to it with difficulty, and the parents decide to leave him at home for another year. But under no circumstances do they take away the documents! They persuade the administration to “hold the place” and regularly pay monthly bills in order to maintain the opportunity to send the child to kindergarten without any problems in a year or even two.

So draw your own conclusions. You need to look for a kindergarten in advance, at least a year in advance, ideally even earlier. Be active, don’t expect gifts from fate. While walking the streets with the stroller in which your newborn lies, meet the mothers of older children, find out what kindergartens they go to and whether they are happy with them.

In addition, the Internet can be of great help in finding a good kindergarten. There are ratings of schools and kindergartens on numerous “parental” websites. There you can find reviews about different kindergartens, groups, and development centers. In addition, you will have the opportunity to ask some specific questions and get the necessary advice.

The child doesn’t want to go to kindergarten at all...

Can any child be enrolled in kindergarten?

Doctors, psychologists and parents call some children “non-kindergarten children”. What's behind this definition? Are there really children who, under no circumstances, can adapt to kindergarten?

To be honest, there are probably no such children. The only question is how much effort the child and his parents need to put in for adaptation to kindergarten to take place, and whether these efforts are justified, that is, whether they need to be made.

Based on how kids adapt to kindergarten, they can be divided into three groups.

The first group are children who react to a change in environment with a real nervous breakdown. Frequent colds are almost always added to this.

The second group consists of children who do not show signs of nervous overstrain and “only” begin to get sick often.

The third group is children who get used to kindergarten without any problems or difficulties.

So, every second child belongs to the first or second group. Does this mean that only half of the children who go to kindergarten have a chance to “settle in” there, and all the rest should stay at home until school age? Of course not.

In most cases, adaptation problems are solvable, and it does not require too much time. Kindergarten is stressful for a child, but the stress is completely surmountable. Only the baby definitely needs help to cope with this new and very serious experience. Such a large number of children experiencing difficulties in adapting to kindergarten is largely due to their lack of preparation for a new way of life. You cannot throw a child into an unfamiliar environment, like into water, in the expectation that he will immediately learn to “swim.” It is worth devoting time and attention in advance to preparing for visiting kindergarten, and then your baby will most likely end up in the third, safe group.

Despite all my efforts, the child still cannot get used to kindergarten. What explains this and what can be done?

Indeed, in some cases even careful preliminary work does not help. Despite all your efforts and good intentions, the child continues to protest in one form or another against attending kindergarten. What's the matter?

First of all, the baby may not yet have reached the appropriate age (we discussed this issue in detail above). In addition, as already mentioned, a child's attitude towards kindergarten can be greatly damaged by a bad experience visiting a nursery. A conditioned reflex can be triggered here: even a small child remembers (at least on a subconscious, emotional level) that he has already been within these walls and felt bad. If this is the reason, then it is best to postpone going “out into the world” for some more time (at least for six months), while continuing to maintain contact with the kindergarten during this period - go for walks, make friends on “neutral territory” with someone from the kids who go to the same group.

Difficulties in adjusting to kindergarten may also be due to the child’s temperament. Temperament is an innate characteristic; it cannot be changed, but, unfortunately, it can be suppressed and forcibly distorted. Sanguine children usually adapt to a new environment quite well, but choleric and phlegmatic children often have a hard time. Children with a choleric temperament turn out to be too active and noisy, but slow phlegmatic people can suffer even more - they simply cannot keep up with the others. And in kindergarten it’s important to keep up: eat on time, get dressed or undressed on time, complete some task...

Carefully observe your baby, ask the teacher about how exactly the child spends the day in the group. And if you decide that difficulties in adaptation are associated precisely with a temperament that is “inconvenient” for kindergarten, be sure to discuss this with the teachers. Explain to them that the child behaves in an “inappropriate” way not because he is guilty of something, but because he cannot do otherwise.

Do not hesitate to be persistent and firm, informing the teachers that your phlegmatic little one should under no circumstances be constantly teased, urged, and even more so scolded for being slow. Tell them (and, of course, keep in mind yourself) that under pressure from adults, a phlegmatic child only becomes even more slow and passive.

His nervous system functions in such a way that when there is excessive stimulation, the “emergency braking” is activated, and the child falls into real prostration. But if such a child is not disturbed, he knows how to finish what he starts, is calm and balanced, neat and reliable. As for slowness, it will gradually smooth out as the child grows and develops. The pace of activity of a phlegmatic person will still be somewhat reduced compared to sanguine people and especially choleric people - the pace, but not the effectiveness! While a hasty choleric person will put on all his clothes inside out and upside down twice, and the teacher will finally change his clothes correctly, the phlegmatic child will just have time to fasten all the buttons once, but correctly and accurately, and even, perhaps, tie his shoelaces. All this must be explained to the teachers so that they remember: the less they tug and rush your “slow mover”, the faster he will “straighten out”, get used to the kindergarten environment and begin to have time to do everything he needs.

But what to do with those hasty choleric people who don’t sit still for a second and in general often resemble a small tornado? It is clear that such a temperament does not cause much enthusiasm among kindergarten teachers. But again, it is necessary to talk with the staff and explain that the baby is “rambunctious” not due to a lack of upbringing, but due to innate personality traits. Tell the teachers that it would be good for your “hurricane” child to be involved in some kind of active activity if possible. If he scattered toys, he will probably collect them with the same pleasure and speed - if you ask him and not force him. As a rule, in kindergartens, children are still allowed to move quite freely - to run and jump (they are allowed, if only because it is impossible to force twenty three-year-olds to sit on chairs for a long time and quietly!).

If you come across very strict teachers who require children to stand in one place during walks or walk back and forth in pairs, well, in this case it is best to look for other teachers. (This, by the way, applies not only to the problems of choleric children! Drilling, suppression, and severe restriction of natural activity are harmful for any child, regardless of temperament.)

Finally, when looking for the reasons for your child’s poor adaptability to kindergarten, think about this: do you easily adapt to new conditions? Do you like to be in noisy companies? If a child grows up in a society of closed, less sociable parents, then most likely he himself will prefer quiet games alone. An ordinary crowded kindergarten may indeed be contraindicated for such a child, but at the same time he should under no circumstances be left in isolation! It certainly needs to be “brought into the light”, although this must be done unobtrusively and carefully, in small “doses”. It’s a good idea to place such a “recluse” in a play group where there are few children and where you don’t have to spend the whole day.

Who's better off staying home?

Children who are weakened, often ill (even before any kindergarten!), or children with an unstable nervous system should not be sent to an ordinary, standard kindergarten. This does not mean that such children should not be sent anywhere at all. You just need to take into account that if your baby is not very healthy, this means he is hypersensitive and vulnerable. You need to approach him with special caution, and choose a kindergarten even more carefully than in the case of an “ordinary” (if there are such a thing in the world!) child. There are special health-improving kindergartens, but you should not rely on the name alone: ​​if there are fifteen people in a group and one teacher for two shifts, visiting such a kindergarten will not bring your child much health benefits.

If you don’t plan to spend the next few years on sick leave to care for your child, put off your dreams of a kindergarten for the time being and start “healing” your baby on your own: watch his routine and nutrition, take more walks, if the doctors allow, start tempering him. Try to find opportunities for your child to attend some kind of “development school” or play group at least a couple of times a week. If this is absolutely impossible, at least go out with him so that he can little by little break away from you and learn that the world around him is wide and not dangerous.

Video from Yana Happiness: interview with psychology professor N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be to get married successfully? How many times do men get married? Why are there not enough normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A fairy tale that could not have happened better. Payment for the opportunity to be near a beautiful woman.

“How to enroll a child in kindergarten in Moscow?”- one of the most pressing issues for residents of the capital. This issue is also of concern to foreign citizens who come to the capital to work with their families.

In Moscow, as in other cities of Russia, there are state kindergartens where you can send a child for a small monthly fee. Everything would be fine, but to get into the state garden you need to wait your turn.

How to send a child to a state kindergarten in Moscow?

In order to enroll a child in a state kindergarten in Moscow, it is necessary to stand in line, which all parents registered in the capital can and have every right to do. For this purpose, there are District Information Support Services, in other words, OSIP. You can contact OSIP at your place of registration, where service employees will help you fill out the application and accept the necessary documents. Addresses of OSIP and their contact details can be found at the link.

Which public kindergarten your child will be enrolled in depends on your registration. There are 11 administrative districts in Moscow, each of them has dozens of kindergartens, the addresses of which you can see on this website.

On the website, select the administrative district where you are registered, the nearest metro station, indicate that you are looking for a “state garden” and the system will display the addresses according to your request.

We wrote in the previous section about what documents are required to submit an application to OSIP.

Recently, online registration for kindergarten has also been available on the Moscow city services portal. When registering, you will need the following information:

• Full name of the applicant,
• insurance number of the pension certificate (SNILS),
• E-mail address,
• telephone number (home or mobile).

• Child's full name,
• details of the child's birth certificate,
• the child’s registration address at the place of residence or stay,
• desired year of admission to a child care institution,
• from one to three kindergartens where you want to enroll your child.

What private kindergartens are there in Moscow?

Of course, private kindergartens have their advantages, the main one of which is that you don’t have to wait long for your turn. You need to contact the nearest kindergarten at your place of residence, submit documents, make payment, and your child will be placed in kindergarten.

You are busy preparing your child for kindergarten, where he will go in a few weeks: you have synchronized the routine, thought about adaptation to kindergarten. But in your heart you still doubt: should you send your child to kindergarten? What if he refuses to go there? Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky is a categorical opponent of nurseries, but is more loyal to kindergartens. If you need “one more opinion” about the need for kindergarten, here it is.

At the age of 18, I waved a broom in a kindergarten under the KGB of the USSR. There was also a five-day nursery here. Now, probably, not everyone knows what it is. This is when a one-and-a-half-year-old child is taken to the nursery on Monday morning and picked up on Friday evening. It is not surprising that children's crying was constantly heard from this department.

An additional nightmare of the situation was that the parents of the crying children lived right in the next entrance. 30 years have passed, and I still hear these terrible children’s screams, and the following scene pops up before my eyes: organ workers in long leather coats are walking to their home; Seeing one of the parents in the yard, the nanny runs out of the nursery and shouts: “Well, at least take a bath!” And people in leather coats turn and answer: “We’ll pick it up on Saturday, there’s a lot of work.”

Another story. In the United States, Congress has been receiving requests for funds for the creation of government agencies for many years. And for many years, congressmen have rejected this request. They believe that once you have given birth to a child, all responsibility for it should lie with you, and not with the state. And that raising children in official conditions means harming them. And in some ways they are certainly right.

In our country, kindergartens appeared as a “means of emancipation for working women and mothers” and have always been considered a blessing. Although there are many disadvantages to staying in these institutions, the advantage is the same: they allow a woman (who does not have money for a nanny) to go to work.

And when a mother drags her child to the kindergarten and hands her over to the teacher, she sometimes feels like an evil stepmother who throws her stepdaughter into the forest to be devoured by the wolves. And for good reason. Kindergarten is not the best place for a child, especially if he doesn’t want to go there.

So what to do, if the child does not want to go to kindergarten? And no “at least for an hour” or “mom will pick you up soon” doesn’t work. There is only one correct answer - do not take him to kindergarten.

And this could be the end of the story.

If not for the question: why doesn't he want to go to kindergarten?? Millions of children run there, skipping, and when their mother comes for them at the end of the day, they chase her away with the words “I’ll still run.” And it was your child who disliked the kindergarten. There is reason to think and find out the reason.

Why does a child not want to go to kindergarten?

There are several options.

1. The child has something like social phobia. He avoids new places, new people, does not make contact with children, and is afraid of new territories.
2. Perhaps the problem is more serious: the child has autistic problems. The child is self-absorbed and, in principle, afraid of any change.
3. There is an unhealthy, even pathological attachment to the mother. To the point that when parents go far away, the child’s temperature rises. Such children, as they say, sleep with their mother in the same bed before school and hold her hand.
4. The child has a developmental delay. It is believed that it is better to send children to kindergarten no earlier than three years old. And at the age of five, in many countries this is considered mandatory. We can say that parents are persistently, to the point of coercion, recommended to send their child to kindergarten, and then they are not even allowed to go to school without this. So, a 4-5 year old (“according to the passport”) child may well have the psyche of a three year old. Hence the problems with socialization. After all, very young children, for example, may easily not have friends - in order to make friends, start relationships, or communicate at least somehow, you need to be psychologically mature for this.
5. The child is very anxious, dependent, and prone to fears. He is not only afraid, but also does not know how to behave in an unfamiliar environment. The reason for this may be the hyperprotection with which he was surrounded in the family, where everything is done for him, and he himself cannot even tie his own shoelaces.
6. Some children, due to anxiety, have such a weak immune system that they may not even cry when they are woken up for kindergarten - they immediately get sick.

What to do about it?

Firstly, don’t assume that today the child is crying and doesn’t want to go to the garden, but tomorrow he will “bear it, fall in love” and “everything will work out.” I don't like these expressions. Since a child has a problem, since his psyche resists, it means that this problem can be solved either by turning to a specialist (a child neurologist, psychologist, psychotherapist), or by breaking his psyche.

And if he no longer cries, but obediently gets dressed and trudges to the kindergarten, this does not mean that he is used to it. This means that he does not have the strength to fight circumstances. He is practically hostage to his parents and has simply lost the ability to resist them.

So I strongly advise: if you notice one of the alarming symptoms, contact a professional psychologist. Some cases require attention, study and treatment. And it is likely that after the intervention of a specialist, having sorted out his problems, the child will be happy to go to kindergarten. But in any case, you need to help him.

How to send your child to kindergarten: instructions for parents

What you need to do if before your first trip to kindergarten everything is more or less normal, but there is slight anxiety:

• take a vacation for two weeks (as a last resort, hire a nanny or involve a grandmother);
• arrange in the kindergarten so that for the first time (let’s say, the first week) you have the opportunity to stay on the territory of the kindergarten, and as soon as your child begins to look around forlornly, the mother immediately comes around the corner;
• During the second week of the child’s stay in kindergarten, it is also better not to go far from him - not to sit in the kindergarten, but to be somewhere very close;
• At first (from a week to two), leave the child in the garden only until lunch, during this period he will fully adapt.

And always, and not just the first two weeks, please remember that children perceive the world through adults and their assessment. And kindergarten is no exception. As soon as you start to twitch, the kindergarten begins to be associated with your tension and “nerves”.

And if in the morning the house is a living hell, if every time you yell something like: “You overslept again! Get up quickly! We’re late! Get dressed! Where are the tights? Can you hurry up or do you want me to be kicked out of work for being late?” In this case, the child, of course, will perceive the kindergarten as something problematic and terrible.

I don’t think it’s worth reminding about how important it is to prepare clothes in advance and get up on time.

But also try to have a positive attitude and, when getting ready for kindergarten and on the way there, radiate calm and love. Tell us how you envy him that he goes to the garden, but you, like a sucker, cannot go there, because you have already grown up and therefore have to go to work. (And under no circumstances should we say that going to kindergarten is his job. It’s not work at all! It’s playing, walking, singing, dancing, etc.)

Yes, and don’t forget to pick up your child from kindergarten on time. Because, even if he spent the day there safely, if everyone has already been taken away and no one comes for him, he will still think about whether to go there tomorrow.

Well, the last thing is about the reasons why children don’t want to go to kindergarten, and ways to deal with it. If your child is healthy, cheerful, curious, cheerful, but does not want to go to kindergarten, leave him alone: ​​he simply does not want to go there.

Come up with something. Find a way to avoid making your child's childhood a stressful time. After all, if he resists so much, and you, taking advantage of his dependence on you, break his will and spit on his desires, you are already forming an inferior psyche in him at an early age.

And what’s more: you lay down the likelihood of developing neuroses and psychoses, fears and anxiety, enuresis and asthma, tics and diathesis.

Although, of course, it may work out. Do you want to check?

Comment on the article "Should I send my child to kindergarten"

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We advise you not to hesitate and start resolving this issue in advance. In recent years, the country's authorities have been opening new educational institutions, and at the same time the procedure for registering children in them has changed. Smart parents are looking for possible options so that their child can get into kindergarten without waiting in line. The information provided below will help resolve this issue.

How to register a child for kindergarten

Every citizen has the right to enroll his child in a preschool institution. There is a certain system. To receive a referral to kindergarten, you must join a special electronic queue. This should be done after the baby is born and his birth is confirmed by registration with the civil registry office. The long procedure is caused by an increase in the birth rate, the closure of a number of departmental kindergartens, a lack of places in preschool institutions and the need for many mothers to go to work earlier than expected.

In most regions, it is possible to be included in several kindergartens at the same time; sometimes the number of options can be limited or reduced to one. The distribution occurs automatically using special programs; parents will be able to choose the preferred option if the child goes to several kindergartens at once. Those who joined the list later than usual and the child’s preschool age, for example, 4 years, have a better chance. Many already attend preschool institutions, do not take up a place in the queue, or the work of someone’s parents does not allow them to pick up their children on time, someone refused kindergarten for another reason and is being recruited into groups.

There is a certain category of citizens who have the right to send their child to kindergarten without waiting in line. Each region independently determines the category of persons who can be given the status of “beneficiary”. If one or both parents have this status, the child must enter the municipal kindergarten without a queue, but in the order of priority among the children of beneficiaries applying for a place in an institution whose competence is pre-school education. When applying, it is important not only to indicate what benefit you have, but also to attest to its availability within a period not exceeding 2 weeks. To do this, you must provide the appropriate documents to the kindergarten.

Benefits for large families

Parents whose children have the right to enter any kindergarten without a waiting list should submit a written request to the preschool education department (it is supervised by the district administration), have benefits confirmed by documents and the necessary certificates.

If a family belongs to the category of large families, children, in accordance with the law, must enter kindergarten without waiting in line. Documentary proof of status with many children is required. Among other rights of such families, the right to payment for staying in a preschool institution on preferential terms (70% discount) also stands out. The discount should apply to additional services such as clubs, which are sometimes imposed on parents, but they are not informed about the discount.

For single mothers

The child of a woman who belongs to the category of single mothers has the right to a place in a kindergarten. But there is a nuance when assigning a child to a preschool child care institution. The situation is this: the number of single mothers in the country has increased; their children are forced to “share” their right to get into kindergarten without a queue. This reason became fundamental for the introduction of the so-called preferential queue. The law determined that when paying for visiting a kindergarten, single mothers are entitled to a 50% discount.

What other legal options are there?

In addition to the above options, which give you the right to get into the garden without a queue, there are a number of other legal ways to be on the list of “lucky” ones:

• A disabled child or whose parents are disabled has the right to a place in a preschool institution out of turn. The law provides for the following requirements: you must write an application and attach a document indicating the disability of the child or parent.
• An orphan living with a guardian or foster parents has all the rights to enter the kindergarten if he has the necessary documents confirming this fact.
• If one or both parents took part in the liquidation of the disaster at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant and were exposed to radiation, their children have the right to a ticket to a preschool institution out of turn. We need confirmation of the fact of participation in troubleshooting at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant.
• A prosecutor, an investigator, a police officer, a military man, a judge, an employee of the control authorities for narcotic and psychotropic substances and preparations, a participant in military operations - this is a list of officials who have the right to receive a “pass” for their children to a preschool institution without a queue.

What documents need to be provided

After receiving a referral to a kindergarten, you must provide the following documents, which will be reported by the head of the kindergarten or the teacher whose group will become a group for your child (for more detailed information, visit the educational Internet portal of your city):

• application addressed to the manager;
• passport of one of the parents, scanned copy of the main pages;
• birth certificate, citizenship stamp, copy thereof;
• documents that should indicate the availability of benefits for admission (if any).

Some additional documentation may be required. The nurse writes out a referral for an appointment with the local pediatrician, as a medical examination of the baby is necessary. The date of the first visit to the preschool institution will be announced additionally.

How does enrollment into a preschool institution take place?

In regions, children may be enrolled in kindergarten at different times. From the moment when parents receive a response in the form of an email about sending their child to a specific preschool institution, they are given a month to collect and provide the necessary documents. If parents are not satisfied with the proposed kindergarten (in the wrong area, for example), they can contact the municipal department of preschool education with a request to provide other options; they should write a refusal (it must be accepted and registered) of the previously proposed place. This decision is reasonable in a situation where a place has been found in another kindergarten.